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    '19 Kids and Counting' Gets Stranger, Sadder

    '19 Kids and Counting' Gets Stranger, Sadder

    The fifth season of TLC's beguiling, baffling, and oftentimes be-rage-ifying (just go with it) Quiverfull family series 19 Kids and Counting premiered last night, and while it was mostly a typical Duggars episode, with eerily wholesome family activities and a dash of stomach-turning religiosity, there was a new grimness to the series that didn't sit right.

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    The bulk of the episode was, again, pretty normal. There was a cutesy segment of the family planting fruit trees on their property, which was part activity for the kids and part attempt to create a food source for twenty people. The clan traveled to some sort of corn maze/petting zoo, where the little ones scrambled around and the bigger ones had fun in their own slightly less enthusiastic way. This is, at least on film, a defiantly wholesome family; these kids aren't constantly moaning about shopping malls and video games, cellphones and parties. Maybe that stuff factors in off-air, but in TLC's carefully edited version of the Duggars' world, all children, ages 2 to 18, are happy to be gamboling about together in a cornfield. That's fine! It's a little weird, of course, but why would anyone watch TLC if they didn't want something a little weird? (Even the network's current best show, Four Weddings, is a little weird.)

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    And then of course there was the infusion of religion that probably earns the series a fair number of looky-loos (ahem). Michelle Duggar, the broodmare who gave birth to this baseball team, was invited to speak to a ladies group at a nearby church, and though what we saw of the speech was mostly a series of platitudes about family and children and all that, there was a single shot that said much more -- the camera panned over a handout that Michelle brought to the event, and the content was pretty unsettling. TLC maybe included this shot for people like us, who of course paused it and advanced the frames to read as much of it as we could, and, whooo boy, was it unpleasant. It was all about how to make your husband happy in a marriage, which is of paramount importance to patriarch-dominated Quiverfull families. There were things about how wives shouldn't refuse their husbands' sexual advances, about how self-reliance is what kills marriages, about not stepping out of bounds in terms of what your responsibilities are as a wife (do too much and you emasculate him, you see). It was all reeeeally gross stuff that you never really hear the Duggars talking about on the show, but is absolutely the unspoken (on camera, at least) foundation of their family. (As evidenced by the fact that older boys are encouraged to pursue education and careers while their sisters remain indentured babysitters.) So that's why the rage-junkies watch this horrorshow, to get that electric adrenalin rush of anger at what a strange and backwards belief system these seemingly cheery and wholesome creatures actually operate under.

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    So, yes, it was a typical Duggar outing last night, until the last segment, which involved wife Michelle and husband Jim Bob going to the doctor to hear the heartbeat of their upcoming 20th child. In the scene, the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat on the Doppler monitor, so there was a scary bit of tension, but then she found the baby on the sonogram and it was a happy moment of relief. Until, of course, one remembered that Michelle eventually lost the baby, a girl they named Jubilee Shalom. Yeesh. That seems awfully grim for this typically only glancingly serious show. Of course it's important to show the effects of giving birth to 19 children, to confront the frustrating and avoidable risks of practicing this kind of "procreate first, ask questions never" family management technique. So that makes it worthwhile. And I'm sure for the Duggars it's important to show the courage and conviction of their faith in the face of loss. But the knowing that it's going to happen, the bleak procedural inevitability of it, is akin to the death march of the recent Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season, in which the specter of a future suicide loomed over the proceedings. It seems like probably the worst way to handle this kind of thing.

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    The producers presumably had discussions about how to best handle this situation, and it seems they've chosen the most sensationalistic way rather than the most sensitive. The cruelty alone of the show title ending with "...and Counting" is enough to make you cringe. But to then stage a nervous yet ultimately happy doctor's visit at the end of the first episode, as if the season is looking toward new promise, when of course it's not, feels a bit beyond the pale. It feels like they're trying to trick viewers who aren't aware of what happened, hook 'em in with hope and them slam 'em down with a twist at the end. Earlier in the episode they showed Michelle exercising on a treadmill and talking about how she's the healthiest she's ever been while pregnant. Come on, really? You couldn't edit that out? It all seems trivial and cruel and wholly unnecessary for a show like this. Just be up front with the audience. Even just a little prologue at the beginning of the episode explaining what happened would cushion the blow a bit.

    (Maybe the producers just assumed everyone already knew, but even if that's the case, it's still upsetting television. It's a strange kind of reality phenomenon, knowing the outcome of a particular season before it airs because of the internet. In certain cases — Snooki gets arrested! Oh, no! — it's fine, it's future as promo. But in cases like this one, it casts a gloomy pall over everything that makes us honestly not terribly interested in watching the rest of the season. Why would we want to watch doctors visits and the other kids getting excited and the parents getting excited and all that, all the while knowing that it ends like it does?)

    We're not saying the miscarriage shouldn't be dealt with or that the hope leading to fallout shouldn't be shown, but it probably shouldn't factor into the season as some kind of narrative surprise. We like to be horrified by 19 Kids and Counting, but not like that. The show is a fun jaw-dropper when a courting ritual begins (oh, god it's creepy) or they visit another Quiverfull family (also creepy, also a potential for courting), but an eventual miscarriage treated something like a suspense thriller feels like a vast overstep on the producers' part. Something so serious deserves proper treatment, a well-considered setting and context, and simply slyly mixing it in with the typical meat of the series, with all its 4-H freakshow vibe, is certainly not anything close to that. 

     
    • Paris  •  Jacksonville, Florida  •  5 hrs ago
      Note to Richard Lawson - writer of this story, how many synonyms, references and adjectives does it take to get your point across that you are very closed minded and that you cannot learn a thing from the Duggars? Honestly?! It takes many people to make this world go round, and for them that is there way of life and who are you to decide or for that matter, judge on what is to make them happy. Last I checked, they were not committing any crimes, not living off of the government, providing for themselves, and growing their own food. Hmmm maybe we could all take a lesson from their book. Try not to be so critical of people that are peaceful, that have harmony amongst themselves. And, I'm sorry, where is religion wrong? Maybe that is your own personal view but not of few 2.1 billion Christians worldwide. "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves" - Carl Jung
    • 1984  •  3 days ago
      The Duggers are SICK people. That many children from one couple is disturbing, disgusting, ridiculous, clown car slap stick, wack-o crap-po junk. Tie your tubes you freaks!
    • kristi  •  9 days ago
      I would rather watch the Duggars any day over the Kardashians. I would rather have my children watch them too. And what's this about calling Michelle Duggar a brood mare? How would you like someone to call your mother that? Of course your mother is worse than any mother out there because she raised an idiot like you.
    • Lindy  •  Telford, Pennsylvania  •  11 days ago
      This article is from Feb 15,2012 and I just got (5-4-12 some 21/2 months ago) a thumbs up today on my comment.

      WOW WOW WOW,..people still reading old news???,...life it too short to do that,..get up , go outside, smell the fresh air and go volunteer at a food bank or something like that!!
    • Joey  •  Nashville, Tennessee  •  13 days ago
      There are many God-fearing families who live by the wifely duties God set forth in the Bible. I for one am a stay-at-home mom, I respect my husband enough to ask his opinion about clothes before buying them, I dutifully show nothing but respect for my husband at work functions (and as an Officer in the Army, there are plenty of those around), I do my best to be available for my husband and not refuse his sexuality. In turn, my husband does much the same for me, he respects me, he does not refuse my sexuality, he goes above and beyond to respect my wishes regarding friendships and relationships outside the home. We do for each other what God has designed us to do. As Michelle Duggar was speaking to a group of women within a church, it would make sense that she preach what God says a wife should do. Read Proverbs 31, nearly the whole chapter is about being a Godly wife and it falls in line with much of what Michelle Duggar had on her handout.
    • Julie  •  Greensboro, North Carolina  •  4 days ago
      Perfectly horrible commentary on the show. Who wants to read that garbage? 19 Kids is a great show for families to watch, not the usual trash on TV. Just goes to show the way the world is going. Who can find fault with people who are trying to please God? Even if the writer doesn't agree with everything (or anything) they do, he could at least have the decency to respect another point of view!
    • Jamie  •  4 days ago
      The Duggar family has more family morals and virtues that most of our families. I learn something from them when I watch their show. And the author of this article better do their research before commenting on the Duggar kids. A couple of their daughters are certified EMT's, midwives, and Josh's (the oldest Duggar child) is married to a gal who has a teaching degree. Also, the author of this article could not even get the Duggar kids' ages right, as they range in age from 2 to mid-20's.
    • Brady  •  4 days ago
      I do not watch the Duggers, my life is in many ways much different than theirs. I do not however feel the need to belittle them for the choices they make in their own personal lives. I would say that yes their wholesomeness is somewhat curious, but it works for them, they are a family unit that works together and seems happy. They must be doing something right, their children have not been in the news for any relation to drugs, alcohol, or sexual perversion...so really what's there to complain about?
    • Albert and Alison  •  22 days ago
      As much as I can't stand yahoo most of the time, I am happy tonight that for (whatever your reasons) most of you commentators think this article is crap. I thought that NEWS was supposed to be unbiased and bring information from other parts of the country or world to us in a dignified manner. This is human slaughter. What the HELL did these people do to this author?!
    • K Douglas  •  Bloomington, Indiana  •  26 days ago
      Ugh...maybe it's because she'll be pregnant in 2 seconds. I don't watch crap like this.
    • Who wants to know  •  Buffalo, New York  •  7 days ago
      not impressed with the writers opinion on everything, not hard to tell you are against God and marriage and good clean fun for kids...loser
    • mrsgreystone1  •  Kitchener, Canada  •  5 days ago
      I don't see the big deal. If that makes them and their husbands happy and helps to build family foundations then great. It's not like they have to do anything outrageous...wow.
    • A Yahoo! User  •  27 days ago
      Stomach-turning religiosity? 4-H freakshow vibe? Get a brain.
    • JudyA  •  Columbus, Ohio  •  26 days ago
      Holy cynicism Batman
    • clida  •  Youngstown, Ohio  •  21 days ago
      The Duggars arenot asking any of us to help raise their kids. I know people who have 1,2,3 kids and getting help from the goverment through our taxes. The Duggers and people like them are ones that should be having kids not the ones that are throwing them out with the garbage or killing them then with fake tears tells us that someone statched them out of their house in the middle of the night.And so what if they believe in Jesus(I do too)they love each other and their kids. maybe we could all take a few lessons.
    • Jason Ridgeway  •  Athens, Ohio  •  25 days ago
      Let me explain disgust...., Those that persecute people with the written language but at the same time demand that everyone be tolerant. I believe that would be the author of this article. This person does not understand the religious faith that people of this world have in God. I would love to sit down with you and help you through your disbelief. God bless you anyway....
    • Sara  •  Warren, Ohio  •  28 days ago
      Who cares if the Duggars are different than most? They have their own show with growing ratings! It's a free country where people are allowed to be devoutly Christian or extremely Aethiest. America preaches pro-choice with everything and it seems like any time it has something to do with God, it's outrageous. Seems like an oxy-moran to me. Why not write an article with both sides of the coin instead of an oppinonated rant?
    • Cindee  •  St Louis, Missouri  •  1 mth 7 days ago
      I have the utmost respect for a family who let's God be there guide and not the media. What would you have them do, Richard, be cynical, mean, hateful, and thoughtless like you? Do you think that would make a better TV show? There are a thousand of those already out there. The Duggars show is an inspiration to those who are trying to raise their children with Christian values because they are doing a wonderful job. Thank you Duggars for sharing even your hardest moments with us.
    • Kelli  •  Brush Prairie, Washington  •  1 mth 14 days ago
      Somebody is scared of truth and virtue......people hate that which exposes their own ugliness. The Duggars are fascinating in that we have no affect on their values of family and Jesus Christ... and doing it while all the world watches. My utmost respect to them
    • Get Over IT!  •  Texarkana, Texas  •  1 mth 14 days ago
      I am upset that it is referring to 4H as a freak show. obviously this person does not know about all the great things 4H does for youth and their communities. Please don't put the freakishly large family in the same group of kids that are learning to be better members of society and responsible.
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