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    Actress' claim to be gay by choice riles activists

    SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Cynthia Nixon learned the hard way this week that when it comes to gay civil rights, the personal is always political. Very political.

    The actress best known for portraying fiery lawyer Miranda Hobbes on "Sex and the City" is up to her perfectly arched eyebrows in controversy since The New York Times Magazine published a profile in which she was quoted as saying that for her, being gay was a conscious choice. Nixon is engaged to a woman with whom she has been in a relationship for eight years. Before that, she spent 15 years and had two children with a man.

    "I understand that for many people it's not, but for me it's a choice, and you don't get to define my gayness for me," Nixon said while recounting some of the flak gay rights activists previously had given her for treading in similar territory. "A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it's a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn't matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not."

    To say that a certain segment of the gay community "is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice" is an understatement. Gay rights activists have worked hard to combat the idea that people decide to be physically attracted to same-sex partners any more than they choose to be attracted to opposite-sex ones because the question, so far unanswered by science, is often used by religious conservatives, including GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum and former candidate Michelle Bachman, to argue that homosexuality is immoral behavior, not an inherent trait.

    Among the activists most horrified by Nixon's comments was Truth Wins Out founder Wayne Besen, whose organization monitors and tries to debunk programs that claim to cure people of same-sex attractions with therapy. Besen said he found the actress' analysis irresponsible and flippant, despite her ample caveats.

    "Cynthia did not put adequate thought into the ramifications of her words, and it is going to be used when some kid comes out and their parents force them into some ex-gay camp while she's off drinking cocktails at fancy parties," Besen said. "When people say it's a choice, they are green-lighting an enormous amount of abuse because if it's a choice, people will try to influence and guide young people to what they perceive as the right choice."

    Nixon's publicist did not respond to an e-mail asking if the actress wished to comment on the criticism.

    While the broader gay rights movement recognizes that human sexuality exists on a spectrum, and has found common cause with transgender and bisexual people, Nixon may have unwittingly given aid and comfort to those who want to deny same-sex couples the right to marry, adopt children and secure equal spousal benefits, said Jennifer Pizer, legal director of the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation and the Law, a pro-gay think tank based at the University of California, Los Angeles.

    One of the factors courts consider in determining if a law is unconstitutional is whether members of the minority group it targets share an unchangeable or "immutable" trait, Pizer noted. Although the definition of how fixed a characteristic has to be to qualify as immutable still is evolving — religious affiliation, for example, is recognized as grounds for equal protection — the U.S. Supreme Court still has not included sexual orientation among the traits "so integral to personhood it's not something the government should require people to change," she said.

    "If gay people in this country had more confidence that their individual freedom was going to be respected, then the temperature would lower a bit on the immutability question because the idea of it being a choice wouldn't seem to stack the deck against their rights," Pizer said.

    Nixon stirred the identity politics pot further when she explained in a follow-up interview with The Daily Beast this week that she purposefully rejected identifying herself as bisexual even though her history suggested it was an accurate term.

    "I don't pull out the "bisexual" word because nobody likes the bisexuals. Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals," she said. "But I do completely feel that when I was in relationships with men, I was in love and in lust with those men. And then I met (her fiancé) Christine and I fell in love and lust with her. I am completely the same person and I was not walking around in some kind of fog. I just responded to the people in front of me the way I truly felt."

    Although science has not identified either a purely biological or sociological basis for sexual orientation, University of California, Davis psychologist Gregory Herek, an expert on anti-gay prejudice, said Nixon's experience is consistent with research showing that women have an easier time moving between opposite and same-sex partners.

    A survey Herek conducted of gay men, lesbians and bisexuals of both genders bore this out. Sixteen percent of the lesbians surveyed reported they felt they had had a fair amount of choice in their sexual orientations, while only five percent of the gay men did. Among bisexuals, the figures were 40 percent for men and 45 percent for women.

    What remains to be teased out, Herek said, is how a representative national sample of heterosexuals would answer the same question, and what people mean when their sexual orientation was a choice or not. Are they talking about their sexual desires? Acting on those desires? Or simply the identity they choose to show to the world?

    "The nature vs. nurture debate really is passé," he said. "The debate is not really an either/or debate in the vast majority of cases, but how much of each. We don't know how big a role biology plays and how big a role culture plays. A possibility not often discussed is it's not the same for everybody."

     
    • Jenn  •  Oakland, New Jersey  •  3 mths ago
      The message of equal rights should not change. The government has no right to interfere with a persons personal life either way. The fact that its a choice for this person changes nothing, she is still entitled to do whatever she wants!
    • Gary  •  Las Vegas, Nevada  •  3 mths ago
      No matter what your opinion is someone will be upset with you: it's a no win situation....
      • Kris 3 mths ago
        This is true Gary. I think a lot of people post in these things just to say crap they would never dare to utter in public.
      • Philip EK 3 mths ago
        Gary, your comment offends me...I'm terribly offended.
      • Lord 3 mths ago
        amen
    • MiloD  •  Kingsland, Georgia  •  3 mths ago
      No freedom of opinion if it disagrees with an activist. You can see whom is trying to put whom into a box.
      • john 3 mths ago
        Good one.
      • Jason 3 mths ago
        She isnt choosing to be gay, they are mad because she is trying to make it sound like gay is a choice. This woman is bisexual and chose to live with a woman instead of a man but is STILL ATTRACTED TO MEN.
      • Dbeez1252 3 mths ago
        You mean with a LIBERAL activist. I keep telling you people: liberals are fascists with a smiley face. They demand that everyone else conform to what they believe is the right, the just, and perfect world or they will destroy you, your reputation, your life. They will smear, slander, and villify you no matter who you are, where you live, or what you do.
    • Scot  •  Dallas, Texas  •  3 mths ago
      So....the gay community wants to censor what somebody is expressing about their own sexuality? Seems a little hypocritical to me, and somebody needs to get over themselves.
      • mons†er 3 mths ago
        No one is trying to "censor" anything. The gay community is simply responding to a comment on a touchy subject, not telling people they can't have or express their opinions.
      • Brooks S 3 mths ago
        Gay people say they are born gay, not that they choose it. extreme conservatives say its a choice and a sin.
      • Josh 3 mths ago
        Monster, they are saying she should be saying what she said...they are always trying to advocate for people to "feel comfortable and speak about their sexuality" but now it is apparent that that is only true if it fits their political view of it
    • oh pooh!  •  San Francisco, California  •  3 mths ago
      Will those same activist groups turn away her donations for the cause?
    • onlineguardian  •  Round Lake, Illinois  •  3 mths ago
      This is funny. You can only be gay if you do it our way.
      • A Yahoo! User 3 mths ago
        What is funny, onlinegourd (and why everyone with an IQ over 50 is laughing at you) is that you are profoundly stupid and are too stupid to appreciate how stupid you truly are.
      • A Yahoo! User 3 mths ago
        except its online guardian not gourd. Irony
      • Diane 3 mths ago
        I don't get it. Why is Onlineguardian stupid? I think that the comment was alluding to the hypocrisy of the gay community not being as tolerant as they ask others to be. I realize that someone who is in the "Hollywood" community has a little (okay, a lot) more influence than a regular person, but shouldn't the gay/lesbian community be as tolerant with personal choice as well as being born gay?
    • plnwtf  •  3 mths ago
      This is funny---the gay community telling her the reason she is gay is wrong. #$%$????
      • Wesley TX 3 mths ago
        they're not telling her she's wrong for being gay, they're telling her she's not actually gay, she's really bisexual. Bisexuals make a choice about whether they want to have sex with someone of their own gender whereas we gays are oriented to having sex with someone of our own gender. My orientation is to have sex with men whereas my CHOICE is to have sex with blonde or redheaded men.
      • Juliet 3 mths ago
        Homosexuality refers primarily to attraction, not action. She is bisexual, that is, attracted to BOTH men and women, and so she can chose which gender to pursue. So she isn't homosexual, but is claiming that she is homosexual by choice, when what she should have said is that she is engaging in a homosexual relationship by choice. People who are exclusively homosexual do not have the option of choosing.
        People are just angry because she didn't word what she said very well.
      • Wesley TX 3 mths ago
        exactly Juliet!!!
    • Scott  •  3 mths ago
      That is not very open minded and accepting of them.
    • Songsungpink  •  Portland, Oregon  •  3 mths ago
      Oh, because her making this claim is SO harmful to the gay community? Give me a break! It's one person's personal opinion/experience. You know, we demand freedom of speech/choice, yet when one person opens their mouth, we freak out because they didn't say exactly what we wanted them to. Ridiculous!
    • marian c  •  Buffalo, New York  •  3 mths ago
      isn't it called being bi-sexual?
    • Dirk Pitt  •  3 mths ago
      Define irony: An acclaimed actress telling the world she's gay, being villified by gay organizations for being gay.
    • Nick  •  Minneapolis, Minnesota  •  3 mths ago
      Why is it gays always push for "freedom of speech" and "freedom of expression" yet if anyone speaks out AGAINST them, they get all mad and "offended" and claim that person doesn't have the rights to say that.... Iriony meet hypocritsy.
    • Voice of Reason  •  3 mths ago
      Those who preach tolerance the loudest are often the least tolerant of all.
    • DonD  •  3 mths ago
      Sounds like the "gay" community needs a few lessons on tolerance to me !
    • Bob M  •  Greensboro, North Carolina  •  3 mths ago
      Since when would this fall under the heading of anybody's business but hers?
    • Glen  •  Fair Oaks, California  •  3 mths ago
      Gays discriminating against someone for choosing to be gay, how ironic.
    • jvkla  •  Los Angeles, California  •  3 mths ago
      The gay community needs to realize that for some people, it truly *is* a lifestyle choice, and in the years ahead we'll probably see more. To attack her for this is harmful to their own cause. It just goes to show that any oppressed group can be just as oppressive when given an opportunity.
    • Cinnamon  •  3 mths ago
      Does anyone else find it tragically Ironic that this article describes Gays who disagree that an individual has a right to proclaim she has a right to CHOOSE?!
      LOL

      Bigotry! It's not just a straight thing anymore. (Nor was it ever)
    • Kenneth  •  Irvine, California  •  3 mths ago
      be whatever you want to be..just don't always expect everyone else to condone it.
    • Rod J  •  3 mths ago
      Ironic that those who claim to be "liberal" are some of the most rigid and dogmatic people in America. It seems that "choice" only matters when taking a life, not changing it.
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