AHS: Freak Show "Show Stoppers" Review: Lady Vengeance (PHOTO RECAP)
American Horror Story S04E12: "Show Stoppers"
Everyone operates by their own system of justice. Humans frequently use trial by jury. Animals use street justice. You and I use, I don't know, rock-paper-scissors. Freaks, on the other hand... well, let's just say their justice system is highly nuanced and unpredictable. For example, the murder of a freak is always punishable by murder. But what exactly defines "freak" and also "murder" changes from case to case; in fact, it changes so often you'll have better luck grasping a wet bar of soap than you will in trying to assign any rhyme or reason to freak justice. Toward the beginning of Freak Show, there seemed to be one simple rule: Don't murder a freak. But by the time the penultimate episode, "Show Stoppers," came to an end, we had freaks murdering freaks for having murdered freaks. It was just a big cycle of freak vengeance! Where will it end? No wonder this mythical race of beings died out in the '50s. Too much freak justice.
Anyway, what an episode! At least one big death, a reenactment of Tod Browning's Freaks, and more amazing Angela Bassett moments than any of us possibly deserved! No complaints here. Let's talk about it!
It was a dark and stormy night and these differently abled carnies were PARTYING.
As it turned out, this party had a theme. And its guest of honor was Stanley himself.
Whoops, word had spread that he'd conned everyone and also that he'd orchestrated the murder of Ma Petite and had been selling body parts for what felt like months. So yeah, the jig was up. But Elsa is nothing if not theatrical, so suddenly the whole dinner party became about giving Stanley a wrapped gift! In my opinion he probably shouldn't have accepted it, but who can resist a surprise present?
Whoops, it was the museum lady's head! In a flashback, we learned that during Maggie and Desiree's road trip, they'd done more than simply exit through the gift shop.
So yeah, at this point Stanley could see the writing on the wall. And that writing was mostly about the freaks pulling knives out and pointing them at him.
After a brief stint on the spinning wheel, Elsa finally threw a knife at his leg and allowed him to hobble around the circus yard, where everyone began to reenact the final scene of the aforementioned and legendary film Freaks (the plot of which had been helpfully described to Stanley only moments earlier). Suffice to say it involved him crawling around in the mud and finding himself surrounded by revenge-minded circus folk.
Bye, Stanley! You brought this on yourself!
The next day Jimmy was hanging out in a rusty shed and he was not super stoked about life or Elsa or anything else.
Also he was pretty bummed that his dad had been murdered. Elsa explained that Dell had had it coming, seeing as he'd murdered Ma Petite, but Jimmy wasn't having it. You know, only weeks earlier, Jimmy would've sworn a blood oath to avenge Ma Petite's murder, but now he was all about his pops. Fine, Jimmy. That's your business.
For her part, Maggie had come completely clean and seemed bent on redeeming herself, starting with stifling a gag while cleaning Jimmy's wounds.
She wasn't the only one stifling a gag—Jimmy was very over her!
Then things got sexy.
Bette and Dot were getting their freak on, which is a euphemism for having sex, and I chose it because this season of American Horror Story is all about freaks, did you know this? Anyway, the one thing that made it hard for them to grind down on Neil Patrick Harris was the weird doll staring them right in the face while they did their thing. Finally Bette had to say something.
Like a gentleman, he threw his evil ventriloquist dummy on the floor, but that just meant that later she would yell at him a ton and also reveal to him that HE had been the one to murder his wife and his wife's lover, not her.
And then she made her move:
She wanted Bette and Dot GONE. Gone girls. Like the movie. But with conjoined twins. Nevermind.
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Meanwhile many of the other performers started to realize that Stanley had said something VERY interesting before they mobbed him: Elsa had been the one to murder Ethel, not him!
And after roughly eight seconds of discussion, the gang realized he was right.
So yeah, that was happening.
Then, just as Dot and Bette were, I don't know, moisturizing their downtown area, a certain psycho killer arrived with a folder full of incriminating info about Neil Patrick Harris.
Dandy claimed he was just trying to help! But nobody likes to hear bad rumors about their new crushes, even if those rumors are true things.
I loved when Dandy tried blowing them both kisses and this was how Dot reacted:
I wonder if he had bad breath or not. Dandy seems like the kind of guy who won't brush his teeth unless his mom reminds him five times and we all know she's a two-headed puppet corpse now. Or maybe Dot just doesn't like it when psychos blow her kisses. Either way.
Then Jimmy woke up and hovering over him were Elsa and her Italian prosthetic leg dude!
So, Axeman had arrived to help Elsa build new hands for Jimmy. But we also got to learn a little more about him. For example, not only did he create her legs after she almost died in a snuff film, he personally tracked down and murdered almost everybody involved in that snuff film!
Except for the last dude and primary snuff artist—and get ready for another Asylum crossover—Dr. Hans Gruber the Nazi!
So yeah, Gruber tortured Axeman a ton, and then Axeman's soul went away and he couldn't be in love with Elsa anymore. A tragic but all-too-common love story.
Now that Neil Patrick Harris was in charge of the freak show, he had BIG IDEAS about what the new setlist would be. But ever since Bette and Dot took a gander at the dossier Dandy had given them, they were much less enthused about being in his magic act.
Especially when he seemed to get really intense about it.
But you know what they say, when one door closes, a girl with bad critical-thinking skills opens. Next thing we knew, Maggie was offering to be the girl sawed in half during the show. I guess to prove herself to the rest of the gang, or something? Anyway, it was a bad idea.
Especially when Neil Patrick Harris sent everyone from the room and then handcuffed her feet together. Very unorthodox!
Within seconds he was hallucinating that he was in a real show and that Maggie was actually his ex-wife and/or Marjorie the dummy. And then THIS happened:
WHOOPS! Bye, Maggie. You were a weirdly useless character, but nobody deserves that.
But I guess Maggie wasn't technically a freak, so the other freaks didn't feel too uptight about the fact that she'd been murdered. Basically, their harsh brand of revenge-fueled justice would not come into play here. In fact, Desiree seemed mostly concerned with just stealing Maggie's jewelry, so.
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Obviously Neil Patrick Harris was not thrilled with the reception of his new trick, so he chased Marjorie back to the trailer to knife her so much!
And then she died. A puppet died. Poor puppet. Puppets don't know no better. Just kidding, this puppet was very rude.
I loved this scene when a guilt-stricken Neil Patrick Harris brought the dummy's body to the police station and "confessed" and pleaded to be sent to the electric chair.
Like, I'm sure the police will just kick him to the curb for dumping a dumb puppet on their desks, nevermind the fact that he's covered in human blood. The police are too busy for this nonsense!
This was a heartwarming flashback: Jimmy taking the stage for the first time, super nervous about his lobster hands, and his mom pep-talking him.
It was especially relevant because he was on the verge of having traditional hands suddenly!
So the question is, would he embrace normalcy or would he go all militant about his natural-born state? Girl, you know how it's gonna play out, relax.
Meanwhile Elsa was paid a visit by ladies who don't know how to knock! (How does one knock in a tent?)
Bette and Dot finally learned Elsa's secret: Her legs were made of knotty pine!
But also, perhaps owing to the fact that Elsa had once saved their lives, they felt it necessary to warn her that the rest of the freaks were coming for her. And let me tell you, Desiree's pre-murder ritual was AMAZING.
It involved shouting "Ethel" to the heavens, chugging a half-bottle of booze while stomping, and then breaking the bottle to use as a weapon!
Depending on how my life turns out, I hope to incorporate this little ritual into my daily routine.
But guess what? Just when the freaks decided to finally make their move on Elsa, they found that she was GONE! Vanished! Fled! Well, actually she was sitting in her car selling the circus to Dandy.
And after that she took off for what I'm guessing is Hollywood, and the next morning Dandy showed up to claim what was rightfully his.
At which point he discovered a secret BONUS FREAK just chilling in a nearby cage.
Haha Stanley, you dumb geek. He got the Freaks treatment! (I like that they left his old hat in there for him, that was thoughtful.)
And then in our final reveal... Jimmy received his new hands!
LOBSTER BOY OR DIE. That's right, Jimmy don't need no digits, not when he can have these ladypleasers.
Guys, "Show Stoppers" was basically just a montage of revenge and comeuppance, but that is not a complaint. This season has been very meandering and structured in such a way as to make these late-in-the-game deaths seem almost beside the point. But at least stuff is happening! The promise of a one-and-done annual series reboot is that each story should absolutely conclude. We needed to see nothing less than the decimation of this freak show and most of its inhabitants, and that is definitely happening. So what will go down next week? How will Elsa finally attain that fame we were promised would happen? Will any other characters survive? Will there be a Lost-style afterlife reunion of all our beloved dead freaks? Only time will tell! And then we'll return to doing what we like best: Speculating about what the NEXT season of American Horror Story will be. A true American tradition.
GUESS WHAT, BYE
QUESTIONS:
... Did you kind of expect Maggie to become another half-woman, be honest.
... Have you seen Freaks?
... Remember when the actor who plays Toulouse tripped over the bench and started laughing, but it was a long unbroken shot and clearly the editors were like, "Well, that was our best take" so they had to leave it in?
... Remember the Matt Bomer episode?
