DEAR ABBY: I really need some advice or I'm going to cry my eyes out. I'm a 14-year-old girl and I really like this guy at school. I'm shy, so instead of telling him, I drew a picture of him, wrote on the back that I like him and taped it to his locker so he could see it. I didn't sign it.
He thought it was weird and doesn't know it's me. He already has a girlfriend and she hates what I did. She says she thinks whoever did it is a stalker.
I feel really stupid. I don't know what to do now. I wasn't trying to be creepy. I just wanted him to know how much I love him. Should I tell him it was me? I'm so confused. Please help. -- HOPELESS AND LOVELESS
DEAR H. AND L.: Dry your tears and take advantage of this learning experience. We have all had them. If you are smart -- and I think you are -- you will not reveal that it was you who put the picture on the locker. The boy is already involved with someone and his girlfriend will regard you as an enemy. If and when they break up -- as so many teen romances do -- you can decide then whether to express your feelings. But if you do, please do it in person and not anonymously.
DEAR ABBY: Is it possible to earn someone's trust back, and if so, how would I do it? -- WONDERING IN OHIO
DEAR WONDERING: Much depends upon what you did that destroyed the person's trust. If it wasn't too egregious, a sincere apology is the way to begin. And if it is accepted, walking the straight and narrow in the future would be helpful.
DEAR ABBY: I got married four months ago and we have no wedding rings. However, we do have our names tattooed on each other's ring finger. His is not legible. Even though he got it touched up once, it still looks like a big blur. My tattoo is very clear and noticeable.
All my friends think we need to wear wedding bands or something. Did we do the wrong thing? -- NEWLYWED IN TACOMA, WASH.
DEAR NEWLYWED: When it comes to wedding bands -- and what they symbolize -- there is no "wrong" thing. You and your husband got the tattoos because you wanted something that would last forever, like your union. The most important thing isn't what your friends think; it's how the two of you feel. If you want to wear wedding bands, then buy a couple. But don't do it because someone else thinks you should.
DEAR ABBY: I work 40-plus hours a week and have a 3-year-old and two dogs. My good friend "Kate" has a 6-year-old, 2-year-old twins and a dog.
Her house is dirty. The bathroom is dusty and stained, and in the kitchen, dishes are piled in the sink. Would it be rude to offer her a few hours to clean up some key rooms? If not, how would I go about offering without being too blunt? -- HAVE MOP, WILL TRAVEL
DEAR HAVE: Try this. Say, "Kate, you have your hands full, so why don't I come over one morning this weekend and help with the housework? Then we'll grab some lunch. It'd be fun. What do you say?"
P.S. If you find yourself in the Los Angeles area, give me a call. And don't forget that mop!
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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- Family & Relationships
- DEAR ABBY