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    Parents of bullied teen say harassment has ‘got to stop’

    Timothy and Tracy Rodemeyer (NBC)The parents of teen Jamey Rodemeyer spoke out against bullying on the Today Show Tuesday.

    Jamey Rodemeyer died by suicide earlier this month, after posting a number of video diary entries online recounting how his high school classmates had relentlessly bullied him for being gay. His parents, Tracy and Timothy, said that some kids who bullied Jamey taunted their 16-year-old daughter at a recent homecoming dance, saying that they're happy her brother is dead.

    "I can't grasp it in my mind, I don't know why anyone would do that," Timothy Rodemeyer said. "They have no heart."

    Rodemeyer, who was 14 when he died, posted online that no one listened to him when he tried to talk about how bullied and harassed he felt at school. "What do I have to do so that people will listen to me?" he wrote.

    His parents say Jamey hid his troubles from them. They told the Buffalo News that they had no idea he had a Tumblr blog where he vented about his pain. They knew Jamey was bullied in middle school and sent him to see a therapist, but he told them that high school was much better and that he was getting along with his peers.

    "My message to the parents is badger their kids and make them talk or get them the help they need," Jamey's father said.

    "Do whatever you have to to make sure they get the help they need." Jamey's mother wore an "It Gets Better" shirt during the interview in support of the campaign that encourages gay youth to survive bullying.

    New York lawmakers are now considering a bill that would update the criminal code so that cyber-bullying can be punished as second-degree manslaughter if the courts determine that hurtful online comments intentionally aided or caused a suicide. Internet users could also be charged with third-degree stalking if they harass a child online. The pop star Lady Gaga, whom Jamey idolized, is now pushing for a federal law that would punish bullying as a "hate crime"--though it's unclear exactly how that would work.

    Not everyone agrees that criminalizing bullying is a good idea, though. In a series for Slate, Emily Bazelon argued that using criminal law to punish minors for verbal bullying is misguided and even cruel. She says schools should be better at preventing harassment.

    The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, a nonprofit that raises awareness about gay bullying, says schools should have policies that specifically bar bullying based on sexual orientation and encourage gay-straight alliance clubs. LGBT adolescents and adults attempt suicide at higher rates than other groups, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. While most of those who attempt suicide have an underlying mental illness such as depression, the foundation says the stigma and discrimination LGBT people face contribute to the higher suicide risk.

     
     
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    2,061 comments

    • For Real  •  8 mths ago
      a bullie needs a good #$%$ beating and a real good one-this has to stop-parents teach your kids right from wrong and follow up with them=doesn't make no sense for this kind of stuff going on-so so sorry for that young person that took their life-parents do a better job with your kids and follow up with them-now a days we have some sorry #$%$ parents which makes the kids no better-i'm not sorry to say that because it is true and the truth will set you free.
      • Beestly 8 mths ago
        Andrew, if you still don't understand the the problem is the BULLY and not about why the bully thinks they have the right to physically or mentally hurt someone else, then you are indeed lost. Whether someone is gay or you think they are, if they look different from what you're used to, whatever lame reason, you don't have the right to harass someone or hit them, period. Grow up, if you can.
      • DE 8 mths ago
        Violence begets violence.
    • Ana  •  8 mths ago
      I was constantly teased and harassed for looking different than anyone else. I was attacked, hit, spit on, often right in front of teachers. Nothing was ever done. No one ever stepped in to say enough. Many, many times I thought about taking my own life to escape. I did not want to die: I just wanted them to leave me alone for even a few minutes. It was a long time ago, but I think in an odd way it made me better: I learned what I didn't want to be. I wish I could tell these kids, no matter what they're being bullied about, that it really does get better. Yeah, I'm still ugly: no changing that. But I'm alive and I try to be a nice person. That has to count for something.
      • Guy Hong Kong 8 mths ago
        You said "I'm still ugly: no changing that". We may live in a materialistic and vain society and by those standards you may be judged as not pretty but when I read your words tears surfaced cause you touched my heart... all I felt is your beautiful soul at that moment... Wish you the best in life!
      • Tulip 8 mths ago
        Ana, you are a deeply beautiful person and I am very sorry that you had to endure such trauma. Unfortunately the world is very cruel and I am glad that you are here to post on this page. Vanity is harsh but it doesn't mean much when people are mean. Thank you for treating others better than you were treated.
      • . 8 mths ago
        Ana you aren't ugly, the garbage that harassed you is.
    • LOCOEYZ  •  8 mths ago
      I remember being bullied when i was young by two older kids. I told my father about it. He said "son I wont you to pick up that 2x4 wood and go out there and beat the hell outa those two kids" I didnt want to because i was afraid but i did.I chased them with it they ran. After that the bullying stopped. Nowadays Im sure i would be the bad guy in this case. I guess what im trying to say is to make a stand against anyone who belittles or bullies you. Do not cower and allow this to happen to yourself people who bully are in fact cowards themselves and if you make a stand against them chances are they will back down.Do not give them the sadistic satisfaction they are seeking fight back!!
      • Justin D 8 mths ago
        100% agree Locoeyz. Kids today are so buttercupped its amazing. I blame partly school for making it a suspendable issue to defend oneself but the most of the blame is on the absentee, liberal parents that think its someone's elses problem to fix instead of handling it as they should.
      • Amy L 8 mths ago
        I sincerely wish that I would have physically hurt the people who bullied me. It would have been a source of pride.
      • Greg 8 mths ago
        I bet you could have given great advice to Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the two gunman in the Columbine High School massacre
    • prometheusburns  •  8 mths ago
      Sometimes bullies need a severe beating, lets take the boots to these thugs...medium-style!
      • Shaminar the... 8 mths ago
        Or a crowbar to the face...or maybe curb stomp them, or (my personal favourite) the good fassioned "laugh hysterically when you get punched/kicked and tell them to hit you again and again and keep laughing as you advance on them and they will think you're insane and run away"

        I do this in my martial arts classes when i spar with others...It's quite unnerving and makes them think i'm bat$hit crazy.
    • It's Me  •  8 mths ago
      We have 5 boys, each of them have been taught that if they dare to bully another child, WE will jerk a knot in their little tails. Parenting begins at home folks, and it's a full-time job.
      • CodyC 8 mths ago
        We do not now, nor ever will live in a society where 100% of parents raise their children well 100% of the time and if we did, it would be a communist dictatorship. At some point you have to be willing to punish those responsible for the bullying, whether it's the parents, the children or both.
      • Erin 8 mths ago
        but define the word bully isn't it talking bad about others making fun of them well i guess that we should all go and "punish" every comic
      • BeverlyJ 8 mths ago
        So CodyC... you'd advocate punishing parents for teenage bullying but would you then also hold teens of illegal aliens responsible for their parents crimes (bringing them to the US illegally being the most obvious). It's a slippery slope when you start holding people accountable for other people's actions. I completely agree that responsible parenting involves teaching a child respect for others... but that teaching cuts both ways. Behavior that aggitates to the point that it may encourage a bully reaction is also something parents should teach kids not to do. To some extent I believe the rise in bullying is related to the increased incidence of parents teaching their kids that all behavior is equally valid and acceptable in society. It just isn't and if a person isn't sensitive to that then to some extent they ask for disrespect from others.
    • Robert  •  8 mths ago
      Its the fault of the parents of the bullies for allowing that behavior in their kids
    • MOBADTHANGOOD  •  7 mths ago
      What I don't like are the internet sissies. Talk tough while they are on the computer, while sitting on the couch with a 12lb bag of cheese curls and a 2litre bottle of pepsi. Especially when they are threatening someone. "Why I should come over there and whip your #$%$amp;quot;, "you wouldn't talk like that if I was there". Buncha punks.I still can't figure out how you can be bullied or harassed on the computer.Mine has a delete, it has an "on-off" button, it has an ignore feature, it has a spam block, etc etc etc. DON'T READ THE EMAIL. CLICK DELETE. Save it too a file so you can show it to someone if something does happen.
    • steven p  •  8 mths ago
      bullies will only learn if they get their #$%$ kicked--unfortunately parents these days are too busy being their kids friends instead of a parent
    • GravitySuks  •  8 mths ago
      You're not going to like this but..................The best way to handle this is the -old school way- because obviously the "no tollerance" method doesn't and hasn't worked. He needed to find 3 or 4 of his friends and have them pay the bully a painful visit. ( yeah yeah you're al saying 2 wrongs don't make a right) This is how it -use to be- handled, whether you were a geek, jock, doper, and it worked. You may not change the bully's thinking but I promise you can change their behaviour.....
      Fine then do it your way, it's gotten you nowhere so far. When someone is attacked physically or mentally they have a right to defend themselves and do what's necessary to stop the assaults. Lameazz teachers, counselors, and political correctness won't do it. All you do is indirectly force the victim to turn inward, maybe until they decide to react with shooting fifty people at school.
    • brian b  •  8 mths ago
      Back in my day you just punched the bully in the face. They usually stop picking on you even if you lose the fight.
    • R  •  8 mths ago
      the parents of bullies are usually proud that their kid is a bully.
    • O-no  •  8 mths ago
      My daughterr was bullied last year by several "mean girls", so I visited the parents and made it abundantly clear that if it were to continue, that I would hold THEM responsible. One dad asked if that was a threat, I told him it was a promise. I also told my daughter to kick some butt, she was afraid of getting in trouble at school, but I told herr I would take care of it if she did. The bullying stopped, and all is fine now. SOmetimes parents need to step in and help.
    • david  •  8 mths ago
      it's not just gays and kids considered diffrent. my daughter is really beautiful and shy and was bullied for two years. i went to the school constantly and finally had to threaten to call the police and get restraining orders. the only reason this is better is because one by one the girls left the school and the ring leader didn't come back this year. I had a on line school picked out this year in case it started happening again but so far so good.
    • Lori  •  8 mths ago
      An older student was bullying my ADD son at school. Knocking him down, knocking his stuff out of his hands, pushing him into the lockers and so on. The teachers knew about it and encourage him to "deal with it". I retaliated. I sent my son to Mixed Martial Arts for the summer and after school. The new school year started. That older kid, a senior, got his #$%$ handed to him in front of everyone during class changes. A teacher called me, to tell me of the Incident at school. She said she knew of the bullying and she couldn't blame my son for giving that boy a bloody nose. Off the record. My son is alot more confident now and the other students leave him alone. They know he can throw a mean one and connect.I advise this attitude for all parents who have children who are bullied. As for on line stuff. "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me...." Turn it off. They have no voice without a audience.
    • Daryl J  •  8 mths ago
      My daughter 5 yo was being picked on at the playground...she was the new kid on the playground. She came back inside. I told her if he hits you again, you hit him back. She went outside, he did, she did, came back to tell me about it. To this day, I smile ear to ear, ginormously proud of my daughter on that day.
    • KG  •  8 mths ago
      Is it me, or does bullying seem worse and much more cruel these days? Bully's - IMO - have self-esteem issues. If they felt good about themselves and were happy, they wouldn't feel the need to hurt others. Maybe I'm wrong....my niece was bullied in high school - her happiest day was graduation day so that she'd never have to see certain people again. I told her karma would take care of her bullies - they will eventually get what they've given.
    • tom  •  8 mths ago
      I remember being bullied relentlessly. I would walk home from the bus everyday dejected, lonley and friendless. It got so bad that i used to close myself in my room after school and cry from the rejection and loneliness. My grades suffered. No one wanted to be my friend. Even people I knew in my younger days stayed away not wanting to be a target also. I got thru high school and went as far away as I could for college. Those feelings of inadequecy, inferioirity and uselesness took years to overcome. I got my masters and a doctorate. I sometimes travel home to see my family. Now married with three kids, none of them have any idea what I went thru. When in my hometown, I will occasionally run into the bullies who used me as a doormat and punching bag. I smile, say hello and it doesnt surprise me they are divorced, miserable, working a minimum wage job with no future. As I pull away in my BMW 7 series, I guess I laugh last and know that I overcame the stupidity and projection of "nothing" kids going nowhere and doing less. To anyone suffering thru this hell, stay focused, endure the pain and rejection for ur time will come. Even Jesus suffered while his father watched from afar. If u keep working, know u r a good person, u will pass those clowns and life will reveal itself to you in time.Never give in and never believe the ridicule and torment of another. You will endure and enjoy the best revenge...proving them wrong.
    • bigguy  •  8 mths ago
      bullies are cowards. very simple. idenify the bully and beat the snot out of him.
      the bullying will stop
    • NotMyFault  •  8 mths ago
      This type of issue started to escalate when the so called educators decide to have a Zero Tolerance rule that said if someone hits, pushes, or shoves you and you retaliate, then you are treated as harshly has the bully that started the fight. The educators decided it would be easier on them to simply PUNISH everyone, rather than do their @#@$ JOBS.
    • 4202trader  •  8 mths ago
      Our grandson, who is autistic, was constantly being bullied by another kid who was also bullying other kids. Two days ago the school expelled him. Horray for WA.
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