The 25 best Twitter jokes about the Cardinals allegedly hacking the Astros
Aside from the New York Yankees, the St. Louis Cardinals are the MLB team that the Internet most likes to watch suffer.
That's how it is when you're a perennial winner and your fans proudly consider themselves "The Best Fans in Baseball." So it's little surprise that Internet jokesters had a field day with Tuesday's bombshell news: The Cardinals are being investigated for hacking the internal database of the Houston Astros.
[Check out Big League Stew on Tumblr for even more baseball awesomeness.]
The Best Hackers In Baseball, they were quickly dubbed. But that was just a start to the jokes. Twitter has been alive with Cardinals jokes since the news broke and the Red Birds have been getting buried like Rachel Dolezal. It's too much not to share.
So below you'll find good jokes, good puns (which are usually also bad puns), jokes so bad that they're good, references to the New England Patriots and jabs at The Cardinal Way. If you're a sticking-to-my-guns Cardinals fan, you might want to just click away right now. This ain't pretty.
PATRIOTS REFERENCES
HMMMMMM pic.twitter.com/xotRXh8LBO
— Barry Petchesky (@barryap1) June 16, 2015
"Okay, now what you do is ....... " #Patriots #Cardinals pic.twitter.com/m4x02S3H0S
— David Henry (@imau2fan) June 16, 2015
Cannot look away…. pic.twitter.com/ryVh0ejxnD
— Batting Stance Guy (@BattingStanceG) June 16, 2015
PUNS AND STUFF
You can't spell "BFIB" without "FBI". https://t.co/1gd6g4lBT4
— Rany Jazayerli (@jazayerli) June 16, 2015
The Cardinals will post all the hacked documents on WachaLeaks.
— Steve Rushin (@SteveRushin) June 16, 2015
Benghozzie Smith
— Neal Kendrick (@neal_kendrick) June 16, 2015
Not saying he’s guilty, but he’s definitely a person of interest. pic.twitter.com/HqNFzeOlvi
— Matt Sebek (@MattSebek) June 16, 2015
The Cardinal Way In
— Tim Brown (@TBrownYahoo) June 16, 2015
FREDBIRD DID IT
I don’t know, man. Fredbird looks DIFFERENT today. #stlcards pic.twitter.com/pUR0CVjjXw
— Matt Sebek (@MattSebek) June 16, 2015
JABS AT THE CARDINAL WAY AND CARDINALS FANS
If this is true, I'm sure the Cardinals employed the classiest, hardest working computer hackers around
— Dan Wolken (@DanWolken) June 16, 2015
A whole lot of Cardinals fans suddenly discovered that they care about due process
— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) June 16, 2015
The Cardinals are a bunch of BASEBALL THE RIGHT WAY and those guys can go BASEBALL THE RIGHT WAY themselves. Oh crap, they hacked me too
— Jay Busbee (@jaybusbee) June 16, 2015
The Cardinal Way 1. Run out grounders 2. Always give 110% 3. Be nice 4. Commit espionage
— connor (parody) (@rockiesVSconnor) June 16, 2015
JABS AT OTHER TEAMS
FBI is also investigating the Mets for hacking into the Knicks "internal networks." That kinda explains a lot.
— Frank Isola (@FisolaNYDN) June 16, 2015
The best part will be when we find out they used all the Astros' email addresses to vote for the Royals.
— The Enrico Palazzo (@Enrico_Palazzo_) June 16, 2015
BREAKING: FBI looking for a person of interest who allegedly stole the Magic 8 Ball that Ruben Amaro, Jr. uses to make personnel decisions.
— Kami Mattioli (@kmattio) June 16, 2015
Phillies actually have been trying to hack the Braves for years now, but everytime they start someone in the front office picks up a phone
— Zoo With Roy (@zoowithroy) June 16, 2015
They hacked the Yankees too, but only found a bunch of mean A-Rod photoshops and a page titled "operating budget" that just said "lolololol"
— Ted Berg (@OGTedBerg) June 16, 2015
"Oh no, the Cardinals might get my porn!" Joe Mauer cries, as he deletes a still image of a woman in a parka drinking a glass of milk.
— Mike Bates (@MikeBatesSBN) June 16, 2015
ET CETERA
in keeping with baseball tradition, a Houston exec should walk into the STL offices and hit their best front office guy with a fastball
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) June 16, 2015
#Cardinals #Astros pic.twitter.com/Wj4GsHfu1f
— nascarcasm (@nascarcasm) June 16, 2015
Cardinals knew this yesterday. RT @OrtizKicks: "He's ready to go," Hinch said of Altuve.”
— CJ Nitkowski (@CJNitkowski) June 16, 2015
How did the Cardinals get past this? pic.twitter.com/Bxnq16j8Ft
— TheConman (@akaTheConman) June 16, 2015
I hear the @Cardinals have hired some good lawyers. pic.twitter.com/K4nYeGBpOz
— Dave Kaufman (@TheKaufmanShow) June 16, 2015
The FBI taking down Sepp Blatter and the Cardinals in the same month? DO SKIP BAYLESS NEXT Y'ALL
— Matt Ufford (@mattufford) June 16, 2015
More MLB coverage from Yahoo Sports:
- - - - - - -
Mike Oz is the editor of Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at mikeozstew@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @MikeOz
