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    The Sideshow

    ‘Ninja Cow’ beguiles Nebraska town

    The elusive and "really smart" Ninja CowIt didn't happen overnight, but residents of Plattsmouth, Nebraska have finally outsmarted a deceptive, wayward bovine known as the "Ninja Cow."

    "It sounded like hoofs on the pavement, and by the time I could focus on it, all I could see was the rear end of whatever it was," local computer programmer Kevin Moon told the Wall Street Journal.

    Wayward livestock can pose serious threats to human and other animals. Even a small deer can destroy a car, seriously injuring the occupants in a collision. Still, for months, the Ninja Cow eluded police and locals, making late night appearances on private lawns, leaving behind only cowpies as evidence of its existence.

    The effort to bring in, or even bring down, the Ninja Cow was not lacking. Police and local experts tried just about everything from luring the cow with biscuits and gravy to capturing her on an infrared camera. They played cow sounds on a laptop. But every attempt failed. Pretty much the only thing they didn't try was recreating the cow costume from Top Secret.

    And the more adept Ninja Cow became at eluding capture, the more her story captured the hearts and minds of Plattsmouth residents, spawning several Facebook fan pages and talk of an annual Ninja Cow Day celebration.

    Local Police Chief Steve Rathman refused to bring his gun to bear on the animal. "This isn't something they teach at the police academy," he said.

    The town even brought in a contractor, 55-year-old Terry Grell, to capture the beast. "If you're interested in getting this cow caught, you can give me a call," Grell said. "But that answering machine was probably full of people that thought they could catch it."

    Eventually, Animal Control Officer Sue Baker hired ranching partners John and Jessica Vallery to do the job. A local tipster called in to say that while Ninja Cow was still on the loose; they had discovered her newborn calf. Using the baby as bait, the Vallerys were able to temporarily capture the Ninja Cow, but she broke out of her cage, dragging parts of the 12-foot fence with her.

    That was the final straw for Chief Rathman, who gave the kill order to take down Ninja Cow. "I didn't take the action lightly," he said.

    Thankfully, it never came to violence. A pair of "real old-school cowboys" eventually brought Ninja Cow to justice, where she is adjusting to her newly domesticated life. "I wouldn't say she was wild, but she was really smart," said Neil Johnson, who helped bring Ninja Cow in. "The first few days she was throwing herself at the fence. Now, she eats right out of my hand."

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    • Dee  •  Broadway, Virginia  •  1 mth 13 days ago
      "Beeeware....I poop on your lawn...." [clop, clop, clop, clop]
    • Jen  •  St Louis, Missouri  •  4 mths ago
      I love how uncommon it is to find nothing but funny good humor comments on a story and almost no negativeness! this story is hilarious! I just hope her and her baby are ok. they didn't say if the calf was with her in the stall? I love the comment she's planning her next attack or escape more like Ninja Houdini Cow or maybe MacGyver will use Ninja Cow to get out of a jam. LOL I love the ideas you all came up with good comments every one.
    • Demun  •  Atlanta, Georgia  •  4 mths ago
      Bang! Boom! Pow!....you just got dat #$%$ whooped by the ninja cow..
    • Amy Taylor  •  Johnson City, Tennessee  •  4 mths ago
      if it wasnt for her baby you would still be looking for her.......go ninja!!!!
    • David  •  Tulsa, United States  •  5 mths ago
      "The first few days she was throwing herself at the fence. Now, she eats right out of my hand."

      That's the oldest trick in the book. She's trying to lure them into a false sense of security, then.....NINJA COW WILL POUNCE!!!
      • Sacred Cow 5 mths ago
        Shhhhh....don't give away all our secrets.
      • Suzanne 5 mths ago
        David --- this is EXACTLY what I thought when I read that last line... she's coaxing HIM into being docile with her, and then she's going to make another run for it!!!

        GO NINJA COW!!
      • Red Beard 5 mths ago
        Run, Ninja Cow, Run!!!
    • whiffer  •  5 mths ago
      I had my choice of reading this Ninja Cow story or more about why nothing gets done in Wash DC. I made a better choice. At least this cow knows what it's trying to do.
      • Leanna 5 mths ago
        I agree. DC needs ninja cows! Anything plz!
      • Stating the obvious 5 mths ago
        I think this is the first time that the top comment on the Yahoo! story I happened to be reading at the time was actually intelligent. Thank you.
      • A Yahoo! User 5 mths ago
        Ninja Cow 2012. Chewing cud, NOT slinging mud!
    • Eater of Souls  •  Brownsburg, United States  •  5 mths ago
      She's got you all fooled...she's being good while planning her next escape...
    • David  •  5 mths ago
      New Dreamworks Movie: "Ninja Cow Vs. Kung Fu Panda!" or "Kung Fu Panda and the Legend of Ninja Cow!" or "Kung Fu Panda and Ninja Cow, Cage Match!"
      • FrigidGirl 5 mths ago
        Nice. Stop giving Hollywood ideas. Lol!
      • JoMin997 5 mths ago
        Really cool ideas, David! You should definitely share them with Hollywood, I'm serious.
      • The Sherrif 5 mths ago
        We had a cow once and we named it "lol"ipop or lollipoop, whatever.!
    • Lauren  •  5 mths ago
      How can you NOT click on the story when you saw this headline on the main page?
      • Leanna 5 mths ago
        I simply couldn't resist.
    • Elbowman  •  Seattle, United States  •  5 mths ago
      Thankfully, she was only a Ninja Cow. If she had been a Cow With Guns, she would have posed a serious threat.
      • The 5 mths ago
        no we already had the Mad Cow..lol
      • A Yahoo! User 5 mths ago
        Is that to imply that practitioners of Ninjitsu should not be considered potentially dangerous?would you square off with one?
      • Elbowman 5 mths ago
        No, I was providing a good Cow Pun. Cow flung dung. Search Google for Cows with Guns.
    • jayn  •  5 mths ago
      For all the people that say cows are dumb animals..think again..what made me laff was the bisquits and gravy..classic...and see..some old ranch hands got her..lol..guess the new way of animal wrangling isn;t what it;s cracked up to be..haha..and maybe she just didn;t want her baby born with her previous owners..but what a funny story for christmas..we need to laff this year....blessings to the cow and her baby....and kaddos for the poice chief..too many times they want to shoot the animals instead of capturing them...
    • burned_once  •  5 mths ago
      Can't wait til she guest hosts on the View.
    • h2ok9  •  5 mths ago
      Finally... some news with a good ending!

      It took old world cowboys to get the low tech. job done. ;o)
    • Ed  •  5 mths ago
      Wild? She was furious...
    • twohorsecrazy  •  Killeen, Texas  •  5 mths ago
      Hope she got a good place to live!!
    • pixietrail  •  5 mths ago
      Who can blame any living creature for NOT wanting to be caged?
    • Kreg  •  5 mths ago
      "Ninjas are more afraid of you, than you are of them." -The Tick
    • B Free  •  5 mths ago
      I can't believe any cow would turn down biscuits and gravy!
    • Paula  •  5 mths ago
      Don't fence me in. She reflect what the general public feels.
    • Melinda  •  Cartersville, United States  •  5 mths ago
      lol I can see chick-fil-a trying to use the "Ninja Cow" in their calendars.
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