Bristol Palin Is Under Attack
Both Los Angeles police and the FBI are investigating a mysterious package containing a threatening note and a white powdery substance that appeared at CBS Television City, where Dancing With the Stars is filmed, addressed to current all-star contestant Bristol Palin. While any mysterious package containing an unknown substance and a scary letter is cause for alarm, what's really got folks concerned is that this is the second time Palin has received such a parcel. When she was first on the show in 2010, an envelope containing a similar powder and a note demanding she be removed from the show or else arrived at the lot. It doesn't seem that either of these packages ever made it all the way to Bristol, but they did come awfully close. There don't seem to be any leads on who it might be, but when questioned, Palin's ex-boyfriend and her son's father Levi Johnston told police, "Ain't nothin' suspicious about my package. It always did it." He then slammed his hands down on either side of his crotch, said "Boo ya!" and rode off into the woods on an ATV. So, that was very helpful. Totally worth the trip up to Alaska. [TMZ]
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As expected, Beyonce was the surprise guest at her husband Jay-Z's final show (his eighth) at Brooklyn's brand new Barclays Center sports venue and concert arena. She came out toward the end of the show and sang "Crazy In Love," serving as a distraction for her husband, who missed a cue to come out on stage and do some rapping. So, I'm sure that was enjoyable. Afterward they took a car back to their Tribeca mansion, checked in on their sleeping daughter Blue Ivy, she of course beatific and perfect, and then Jay and Bey retired to the master bedroom, where they took a strange box with a glowing light emanating from it out of a drawer. They opened it and said a few strange words into the box, which seemed to glow brighter, and then they closed it and put it away. Before getting into bed, Jay-Z opened the curtains and the window revealed all of the cosmos, as if this bedroom was somehow not on Earth, but high above, or infinite in space and time. Beyonce smiled and patted the bed next to her, motioning for Jay-Z to join her. So he did, and then, like mere mortals, these great gods went to sleep. [Us Weekly]
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Well I'll be a Snooki's uncle. The meatballiest, party-hardy-iest cast member of Jersey Shore, The Snooki, skipped a recent party for the last season of her show. Yes, Snooki chose not to go to a party. Isn't that rather remarkable? Her reasoning was sound, too. She wasn't trying to smoosh some guy named Falconi or whatever, she was taking care of her infant son, Lorenzo. Snooki didn't go to a party, where there was booze and sweaty people, because she wanted to stay home and care for her kid. That's a pretty amazing thing. She's a changed woman, she's all grown up. She's mature now, no longer one for the crazy party scene. All the other mooks were at the party, though, with DJ Pauly D Walnuts DelVecchio sporting an elaborate chain given to him by 50 Cent, and of coures The Situation crying alone in a corner, so overcome with all of his many feelings. Meanwhile JWoww was smokin' a cigarette and trying to look classy as she sipped her "Apple-Rum Tini" and the other guy, who can remember his name, tried to scam on a girl who was fiddling with her phone the whole time and not really paying him any attention. That's what you missed, Snookles. All that lost because of some dumb baby. [Page Six]
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Britney Spears has been caught taking her two sons (and herself) to McDonald's. This happened in Los Angeles, which is an outrage. Few people know that it is illegal to take (white) children to fast food restaurants in Los Angeles. You can take them to Tender Greens or the Urth Cafe or that vegan place owned by a cult, but you cannot, absolutely cannot, take them to fast food. Umami is, in moderation, acceptable, as is Apple Pan and I suppose Hamburger Hamlet. But McDonald's? For shame, Brithenny. For shame. The kids look good, though! Happy and healthy and miraculously not wearing soiled footie pajamas and scratchin' at lice. Like The Snooki, Britney seems to have grown up and matured a bit. Aside from her scandalous food choices, she may be doing a good job. [Daily Mail]
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Amber Tamblyn, 29, has wed her longtime boyfriend David Cross, 48, over the weekend. The actress and the actor/comedian were snapped in an Instagram photo by some director who posted the thing on Twitter, which seems to be the only way anyone knows they got married. The caption said something about Yo La Tengo being at the wedding, playing Superchunk covers, which sounds about right for these two. Beyond that, though, nobody seems to know much about the todo. Was it in New York? Somewhere down south where Cross is from? Who knows. Maybe it was on Yo La Tengo's private floating island, somewhere out by Bermuda where the Superchunk covers float in on the wind like syrup smells. It would have to be somewhere magical. Maybe it only exists on Instagram. That's the only place it had happened or is perhaps continually happening. In some ways, that's the only way this whole thing could make sense. [Us Weekly]
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Lena Dunham goes to fancy literary parties and hangs out with fancy literary people in New York. That's just what Lena Dunham does. Her latest social coup is going to a party held by New Yorker editor David Remnick in honor of the New Yorker Festival, which is a fancy literary thing for fancy literary types (and actors and musicians and other artists, all of whom are themselves pretty literary, usually). So don't expect to see Lena Dunham stumbling out of The 13th Step on 2nd Avenue or shrieking at Rosa Mexicana with her girlfriends anytime soon. Unless she's doing it ironically. Which, I guess, is a possibility. [Page Six]
