Constantine "Blessed are the Damned" Review: Wings of Desire

Constantine S01E01: "Blessed Are the Damned"

Can Chas and Zed not be in the same room together? It seems like there's always an excuse as to why one of them can't go adventuring. Do they not like each other? Or is it more of a split custody kind of thing, where Zed and Chas switch off weekends babysitting the dark arts dabbler. My guess is that dying in every episode would be too taxing on Chas's body. Maybe a getaway here and there is good for him.

With Chas taking some time off from his weekly bout with death, "Blessed Are the Damned" was able to focus a bit more on our gal Zed. Her battle with John over her mysterious past has become a little tiresome seven episodes in, where each attempt to figure out where she came from is met with her Eyes of Derision and her much-practiced Furrowed Brow, which she employs in tandem to convey a sentiment best described as "Screw off, limey." And since she'll never willingly offer up any intel to John, Constantine decided that "Blessed are the Damned" would be an episode engaging in the time-honored narrative tradition of showing and not telling.

This week, Constantine addressed one of my pet peeves with TV shows that deal in the supernatural: mortals' contact with capital-A Answers. I'm not talking about the ones that Pretty Little Liars' Ali was supposed to provide to her friends regarding the hierarchy of anonymous bullies stalking teenage girls. Bigger than that. So often, characters will encounter an angel or some irrefutable religious proof with indifference or fleeting awe. While it wouldn't necessarily make for great television to see a person meet someone with actual wings and start making different, virtuous life choices because the universe has been revealed to them, a touch of amazement that lingers beyond a handshake would be nice.

So when Zed and John stumbled upon a woman who looked like she was just making leaf angels but who turned out to be an actual angel, I was waiting for the inevitable breeze-through of the introduction of ontological proof. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find Zed was an acceptable level of impressed with this new knowledge. It was a little weird that Zed's first question was, "Why do I hallucinate, like, all the time?"—at least given what we might expect an angel to absolutely know—but at least she seemed appropriately disrupted. She even took a moment to chastise John for being so cynical in life after learning that, yes, Virginia, God exists.

But, obviously, he has a right to be cynical, and that's because he's seen all the things. While Zed maintained her delicate balance of being both wide-eyed and withholding, the episode was holding another shoe and waiting for the right moment to drop it. "Blessed Are the Damned" had enough going on—between its initial conflict, ticking bomb plot devices, and women with plunging cleavage—that it didn't even need the dark twist at the end. Discussions of angels and trying to save them from perishing in the world of mortals could've sustained the entire hour. But we had to teach Zed a lesson for believing in the good of the universe. The angel had to be a member of the Fallen who was willing to bend our psychic heroine backwards into an involuntary Matrix pose to illustrate that knowing that God exists doesn't mean your life is all milk and honey and unicorns. It was a fine misdirection; if you weren't waiting for the Rising Darkness to make an appearance after it happened, you were probably like, "Well, I wasn't sure what I was expecting."

But back to Zed. It seems that "wide-eyed and withholding" is the best way to describe her personality. She's eager but also aloof. Sentimental but distant. Naïve but withdrawn. I'm not sure if she's inconsistent as a character or if she's just constantly denying her true self while protecting a soft, melty core. This was probably most evident with her other betrayal of the episode. While I never thought Constantine would take a page from Scandal's playbook, it turns out that someone deployed a naked man as bait to get Zed to do something stupid (in this case it was just her coming out of hiding, not revealing insider information on incendiary geopolitical situations to a prostitute).

Far be it from me to deny Zed getting her groove on. This Eddie seemed like a nice dude, and if you're willing to date a guy you've seen all of in front of God and everything, you probably saw something you liked. It's just unfortunate that, as we watch Zed open up more and more, it means she's opening herself up to treachery and fraud. I'm also guessing that situations like these are what gave her such over-the-top frightened faces and the desire to clam up in the first place.

Seven episodes is a long time to wait for a TV series to show you something, and I'm still not even sure we're there yet. John & Co. are at their best when their adventures challenge lead-heavy ideas and muck through ethical quandaries, which is why this episode and "Feast of Friends" have been Constantine's strongest showings to date. But the series is still just a little off somehow, just a little rough around the edges. The dialogue doesn't necessarily hit, the chemistry isn't exactly right, and the line delivery from all the main characters leaves one wanting.

People keep asking me if they should watch Constantine, and I don't know if it's worth it. I'm certainly low-level-enjoying the show, but if keeping up with it means not catching up on something else, Constantine can sit on the back burner. Even if this turns out to be the series' only season and the investment is ultimately a small one, Constantine isn't on the same level as Wonderfalls or Freaks and Geeks, where a single season is worth making time for in a crowded television schedule. Keep watching if you're into it. I'm willing to support the #SaveConstantine hashtag just because I'm curious to see how or if it will retool.

OTHER THINGS PLUCKED FROM AN ANGEL'S WINGS

– Small shout-out to Patrick Carroll, who I thought did a great job of portraying a terrible preacher, a magnetic preacher, and an avatar of Ben Hawkins from Carnivàle. When his sister backed away from being healed by him, I figured it was just homage.

– The way John spoke to the couple in line was odd, like he was actually having a conversation with them but couldn't help his sarcastic tone. Pair that with his disdain for local cuisine and the demons that need to be exorcised in the region and I might start to feel like this show doesn't much care for the South.

– "Courtesy counts." As much as this episode was about exploring Zed, we got some insight into Manny, too. Was his conversation with the dark angel Imogen (before he knew she was Fallen) about curiosity into what it's like to be mortal, or has spiritual guidance lost its luster when constantly faced with people jaded by their free will?

– Also, how about Manny going all Mortal Kombat on Imogen? And then leaving Zed with the still-beating Heart of Darkness? That almost made up for how goofy Manny looked leaning up in Zed's body.

– No wonder Zed ran away from whoever that was. That was a terribly gaudy necklace.

– Zed humming the melody so that the melody would be sung to her from elsewhere would've been an interesting device if the writers had been inspired by "call and response," which is rooted in religion. It was less interesting after they called it "echolocation" like they were bats flapping around in the dark.

– I'm waiting for the Zed and Chas episode where John is sleeping one off and they have to save everyone. That might be what finally makes me believe in this show. Just do Chas: The Knowledge with Zed constantly hallucinating and Chas dying 30 times. They wouldn't even have to leave the cabin.

What'd you think of "Blessed Are the Damned"?