The Daily Caller presents: The first annual High School Stupidity Awards

The Daily Caller

The dog days of summer are upon us. High school students across the country are enjoying their time off, which means that The Daily Caller can offer far fewer stories about stupid and otherwise outrageous occurrences on campus.

The time is right, then, to celebrate the academic year that was. Here are the stupidest, most outrageous and most cringe-worthy high school moments of 2012-13.

Overland High School (Aurora, Colo.): World’s greatest math teacher ever

Carly McKinney (aka Carly Crunk Bear) is the 23-year-old high school math teacher from Aurora, Colorado who took to Twitter in January with half-nude photos of herself, chatter about getting heroically stoned and an admission that she was tweeting instead of working during school hours. She also tweeted to the world that she had marijuana in her car. The Crunk Bear did not face charges for her boasting. Sadly, however, she was ultimately fired for her hijinks. (RELATED: Revealed: The hot Twitter pics and posts from the world’s greatest high school math teacher)

Chapin High School (Chapin, S.C.): Most bizarre flag-stomping to make some baffling point about symbolism

South Carolina honors English teacher Scott Compton was fired because he threw an American flag on the floor and stomped on it in front of his students during three different class periods. “He proceeds to take down the American flag, and said, ‘This is a symbol, but it’s only a piece of cloth. It doesn’t mean anything,’ and then he throws it down on the floor and then stomps on it, repeatedly,” said the father of a student at Chapin High. Compton ultimately received a whopping $85,000 in a settlement with the Lexington-Richland 5 school district. (RELATED: South Carolina teacher on leave for stomping on American flag in front of class)

P.S. 211 (New York, N.Y.): Most embarrassingly stupid sacking of a teacher

A junior-high school Spanish teacher, Petrona Smith, filed a lawsuit alleging that she was fired from P.S. 211 in the Bronx in March 2012 because of a misunderstanding over the word “negro.” The 65-year-old, non-tenured teacher maintains that she was instructing her class about how to say the various basic colors in Spanish. The word “negro” naturally came up because “negro” is the Spanish word for “black.” A seventh-grade student in the class took offense at the term, however, believing the word to be a racial slur. But wait — it gets better. Smith, a native of the West Indies, is herself black. (RELATED: Black Spanish teacher claims she was fired for using the word ‘negro’ in class)

St. Pius X High School (Lincoln, Neb.): Hottest on-campus porn photo shoot

Teen porn star Valerie Dodds, who goes by the apparently erotic stage name Val Midwest, was charged with trespassing and public nudity after taking naked photos of herself at the Catholic high school she once attended. Sex toys and a crucifix were involved as well as inserted. Dodds, 19, said she chose St. Pius X High for the nighttime photo shoot as a response to students who had criticized her recent career choice. “I decided to go there and show them that I am here to stay,” she said triumphantly. After she was ticketed, Dodds returned to the school and did another photo shoot in broad daylight, this time wearing only panties and pasties over her nipples. (RELATED: Teen porn star got naked, pleasured herself with crucifix on school grounds)

Moanalua High School (Honolulu, Hawaii): Most annoying, spiteful atheist who ruined Christmas

The Hawaii Department of Education canceled a beloved annual Christmas concert by the Moanalua High School orchestra only four days before the event, following legal complaints by Mitch Kahle, founder of the Hawaii Citizens for the Separation of State and Church, because of New Hope Church’s involvement in the concert. New Hope had managed ticket sales and sold tickets to the concert at its services, sending all proceeds to charitable causes. In recent years, the church has raised more than $200,000 through ticket sales for a charity that treats poor people in Africa. (RELATED: Threat of legal action by activist organization leads state to cancel school Christmas concert)

Martin County High School (Stuart, Fla.): Sexiest English teacher

English teacher Olivia Sprauer was fired after Alfred Fabrizio, Martin County High’s principal, learned that she also worked as a professional model under the far sexier name Victoria V. James. Her modeling website and Facebook page feature numerous photos of her wearing bikinis and occasional see-through lingerie. It was too much skin for school officials. After Sprauer confirmed to Fabrizio that the images were indeed of her, she the principal fired her and she was escorted out of the school. (RELATED: Florida teacher too sexy to teach)

Sebastian River High School (Sebastian, Fla.): Biggest to-do over a lesbian relationship between two high school students

Kaitlyn Hunt, 18, rejected a deal which would have required her to plead guilty to engaging in sex with her underage girlfriend. Last November, Hunt began a romantic relationship with a 14-year-old female student. Both attended and played on the basketball team at Sebastian River High. Since the age of consent in Florida is 16 years of age, Hunt was arrested on charges of lewd and lascivious battery on a child. The age difference between the two girls is three and a half years. Under the rejected deal, Hunt would not be incarcerated or listed as a sex offender. Her trial is still ongoing this summer. (RELATED: New details emerge in teen lesbian’s arrest for underage sex)

Tucson Unified School District (Tucson, Ariz.): Best judicial opinion criticizing a bunch of Chicano racists

In March, federal judge A. Wallace Tashima upheld most of a 2010 Arizona state law that prohibited school districts from offering coursework that endorses the overthrow of the United States government or stokes resentment toward a race or class of people. The ruling stems from the Tucson school district’s intervention to forcibly alter coursework in a controversial Mexican-American studies program. The highly race-conscious program taught history, civics and literature from a pointedly Mexican-American vantage point. The judge agreed with a prior evidentiary finding by an administrative law judge that the program promoted “racial resentment against ‘whites.’” (RELATED: Federal judge: Arizona can ban classes promoting ‘racial resentment against ‘whites’)

Eastern University Academy Charter School (Philadelphia, Pa.): Most unseemly book purchased by a teacher for a student

In May, The Daily Caller located the one man in America who claimed to be blissfully unaware that the novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” is the tour de porn. That man is a high school math teacher at Philadelphia’s Eastern University Academy Charter School. He requested that students give him a list of books they wanted to read during an independent reading period. Naturally, a ninth-grade boy asked for “Fifty Shades of Grey.” The teacher then ordered it online, with his own money. The student’s mother was very upset when she discovered the smutty romance tale in her son’s book bag, though. School officials called the incident an unfortunate mistake. (RELATED: Teacher bought ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for ninth grader; mom mad)

Delavan-Darien High School (Delavan, Wisc.): Most radical leftist indoctrination at a podunk high school

At Delavan-Darien High School in Wisconsin, the curriculum on “American Diversity” allegedly teaches students that white skin confers a set of unfair privileges. The ideas presented in the course come from a broader academic movement called critical race theory. “There is not space here to list all the ways in which white privilege plays out in our lives,” reads one paper assigned to students. Another assignment asked students to visit the toy aisle at the local Wal-Mart and count the number of white dolls. (RELATED: Public high school in Wisconsin indoctrinates students in ‘white privilege’)

Poston Butte High School (Tan Valley, Ariz.): Worst suspension for the crime of having a picture of a gun

Freshman Daniel McClaine, Jr., made the mistake of setting a picture of an AK-47 lying on a flag as the desktop background on his Poston Butte High-issued computer. He found it on the Internet and liked it, partly because he is interested in serving in the military after graduation. A teacher ratted McClaine out after noticing the Soviet-era rifle on the computer. The boy received a three-day suspension. After his father contacted the local press, though, school district officials suddenly decided that the younger McClaine could return to school. (RELATED: High school freshman suspended for having a picture of a gun)

Middleborough High School (Middleborough, Mass.): Most stunning transgender prom queen

Wearing a silver tiara and a purple sash, and clasping a bouquet of pink flowers, Middleborough High student Cody Tubman became the first transgender prom queen in the whole history of Middleborough, Mass., the cranberry capital of the world. The senior has been dressing as a woman since sophomore year. School officials have happily facilitated the cross-dressing, permitting Tubman to use female bathrooms and locker rooms freely. (RELATED: Mass. high school crowns its very first transgender prom queen)

Grosse Pointe North High School (Grosse Pointe Woods, Michigan): Best example of a teachers union imposing dumb rules

Science teacher Gary Abud, the 2013-14 Michigan Teacher of the Year is “a teacher amongst teachers,” according to his school district’s superintendent, and is an outstanding professional, according to Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder. Thanks to the anti-meritocratic compensation rules governing teachers unions in Michigan, though, Abud took home about $20,000 less than the average teacher in his district. (RELATED: ‘Teacher of the Year’ earns $20,000 less than average, thanks to union rules)

Ambridge Area School District (Ambridge, Pa.): Best rendition of the ‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ song that resulted in a school lockdown

A receptionist for a local eye doctor misinterpreted high school student Travis Clawson’s voicemail greeting, triggering a lockdown of several schools in a series of events that led to his arrest. The prerecorded greeting was Clawson’s imitation of part of the rap theme song from the “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” a 1990s sitcom starring a young Will Smith. At one point, the receptionist thought she heard Clawson say, “shooting people outside of the school.” The actual words to the song are: “And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school.” (RELATED: School locked down after receptionist misinterprets ‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ song as threat)

Camden LEAP Academy University Charter School (Camden, N.J.): Best sloppy joe, hopefully

Michael Pastorello, the executive chef at the Camden LEAP Academy was in the news this year either for his inflated salary or perhaps because he prepares the world’s most delectable sloppy joe — certainly off the bone, perhaps with a cream basil sauce. Pastorello was pulling $95,000 a year to serve meals to approximately 1,000 students. That’s more than twice the average take-home pay of people in the area who do the same basic job. Coincidentally, he was also the live-in boyfriend of the school’s founder. (RELATED: ‘Executive chef’ at Camden, New Jersey charter school makes $95,000 a year)

Mariemont City School District (Mariemont, Ohio): Most ridiculous lawsuit filed by a teacher

High school French and Spanish teacher Maria C. Waltherr-Willard, 61, filed a disability discrimination lawsuit against her suburban Cincinnati school district, claiming a phobia of young children. Problems arose when the district reassigned her from high school to junior high. The suit also claims the district wanted her to resign because of her age. The alleged disability is pedophobia, an irrational fear or dislike of children. “It’s a tough phobia,” observed local professor Caleb Adler. (RELATED: Ohio teacher sues school district over child-phobia ‘disability’)

Linden High School (Linden, Calif.): Best detective work by a high school sophomore

After students kept noticing items disappearing from their bags all year during gym class, crime stopper Justine Betti decided to do some investigating. She wedged herself inside a school locker and waited patiently for the perpetrator to strike. Betti was surprised to find out that a popular gym teacher with some three decades of experience was the backpack bandit. Fearing that no one would believe her, she did what any good gumshoe would do: She returned to the scene of the crime, hid again, and set up a video surveillance operation. (RELATED: High school sophomore goes undercover to catch teacher looting backpacks)

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Robby Soave contributed to this piece.
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