FIRST PERSON | I decided not to have children from the time I was a teenager in high school. A few of my friends had made the same decision, but backed out later when their biological clocks began ticking.
I'm 37, and I've never felt any ticking. You'd think that living in San Diego would help me change my mind. It's beautiful here. With the sun, sand and beach, there are plenty of fun things for children to do.
Well, I'd rather do those fun things myself.
I have a very strong entrepreneurial spirit. I've never liked being told what to do, and I've never wanted to have to depend on anything. The same goes for the reverse of that statement: I don't really want to have to tell anyone else what to do, and I don't really want anyone else to depend on me for anything. That's probably the reason I've never been married either.
I also tend to get bored quickly, and move from job to job. I have a degree in computer engineering, but I've done everything from tile painting to background acting to web development to writing. I love the job I'm doing at this time, but once my interest fades, I want out. I'm afraid that if I ever have children, I will get bored with being a parent and basically give up on life. I would never do them wrong, but perhaps I would lose my own soul. I know I would at least become burned out with the job of parenting.
There are times, however, when I wonder whether I've made the right decision. Sometimes I think about the children I may create. What would they be like? Is curiosity about such things enough of a reason to have children?
My mother says it's not. She actually agrees with me. She sees how much I worry about my furry "children": my 7-year-old dog, Lulu, and the 1-year-old starving cat, Miss Kitty, who found me and proceeded to move her six kittens (Fur Ball, Tippy, Booty, Teensy, Cheetah and Gracie) into my back yard.
My mother sees how I worry about my "kids" when they get in trouble, and how much I give up to take care of them. Because of my worrying and caring nature, she feels that children will be about 10 times as hard on me. I'm pretty sure she's right about that.
- Family & Relationships