Emailed Photo Of Ailing Mom Is Reason To Restrict Visitors

LW3 - I ran this by an attorney friend who specializes is Pre-pubescent Mall Law. The friend loaned the money however since the purchases appear to be in the same bag as the lenders purchases it appears that the lender did not actually hand over any cash but rather paid for the LW’s purchases along with hers at time of sale. The lender then put the purchases together in one bag that she took responsibility for by word, deed or both. The LW, it appears never received the money nor the purchases. Therefore she was never actually took possession and is therefore not liable. The lender is out the money. Oh maaaan….That is sooooooo not fair.

I can't get Pamela and Mickey out of my head. Several of the comments I've read today seem to point to people wanting to jump on Mickey for taking advantage of the woman because he supposedly hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. To begin with, we only have Pamela's say-so that it even happened and she could very well be making it up because according to the LW Pamela claims to be in love with the man.
But also, that hug and kiss on the cheek could have been the result of Mickey finishing a hard-to-do project and when it was FINALLY finished he hugged her, spun her around, kissed her on the cheek and yelled "well, girlfriend, I thought I'd never get it done but here is your brand-new whatever!" And Pamela is off and running in a dream world that Mickey is in love with her.
Well, it could have happened like that.....

Being knee-deep in major home repair myself at the moment, I can attest you can get to know the people who are working on your house quite well. On the main, this is a good thing. The better you know them, the better you can communicate, and in home repair that skill is vital. Some of the construction workers that work on my home have become trusted friends I hire again. While I would never consider dating any of them, I can easily see how a line can be crossed in the mind of a lonely widow. Her contractor has become a surrogate husband figure and she's drunk on the attention she's paying for. Contractors listen to you, they generally want to give you a positive result, and they care about the outcome--to the point of contributing ideas of their own...like a partner would. He may even have a key to her house. But "Mickey" is a still a hired hand, not a boyfriend, and she will learn the difference the hard way when there are no more jobs for Mickey to earn money on. My feeling is, he's capitalizing on her weaknesses. But. She's a big girl and she's getting an improved, marketable house in the bargain. And let's face it, part of re-entering the dating pool involves disappointment and getting your heart broke. The LW may want to protect her sister from further emotional pain, but that's not really possible or even desirable. It's just part of life...like home repair. It's her house, let her fix it, it's her life, let her live it.

LW#1 SOme people do this kind of thing. SHe probably thought she was doing a good thing, letting you all see Mama. If Mama had passed, those would be the last pics of her. I am with you, kinda creepy, but I do think she was not meaning to be offensive, but really thinks she was being thoughful. Just ask her not to do it again and be nice. And since she was one of Mama's only visitors, you should be thanking her for keeping Mama company while the rest of you were too busy.

#1That's kind of weird. I know some people who like to take pictures of people laying in their casket. That's even weirder to me. My dad was one of those people.

#3 You didn't say how old your friend is, but you should never trust a 12 year old to take proper care of your thing. You also should not loan money to a 12 year old.

LW2, this is no different than the waitress at the restaurant that flirts to get a big tip. Except in this case, it is the sister who want the "big tip".

Re Something's Missing: You have only your sister's word that he has shown any interest in her at all. Is the family already badgering her to "find somebody new?" Your words, "she should be ready to date now" are a clear indication that you think you know more about what is good for sister than she does. If you're that suspicious, there's no point sneaking around. Simply show up at the work site and see for yourself.

As a widow with a number of friends who are widowed, I can tell you that it is not at all unusual for a widow to completely renovate her home. It happens all the time. Reasons vary as widely as the personalities involved. I have also known widows who made up "relationships" just to get their families and friends off their backs about "moving on." I've been tempted to do it myself.

"He hugged her, kissed her on the cheek and said "you're my girlfriend' .....and she thinks they're a couple now? She must not have EVER dated before!

I think it's very easy and all to common to equate 80 years-old today with 80 years-old twenty years ago. My parents are 80 and 78 (Dad and Mom), and they are actually very technically savvy. They email and facebook. I still think that we don't know enough about this situation to say one way or the other. The patient may have asked the woman to take the pictures and send them out.

LW#1,if someone had tried to photograph my mother on her death bed she would have used the last of her strength to strangle them,we would have gladly held them down for her!!

LW3 - Learn to start saving for what you want and quit borrowing from people.
If you don't have the money to buy it, you need to accept that you can't afford it.
And keep up with your own stuff.

Wow Abby, you really blew the response on LW#2. Here you are telling this woman to check out the work credentials of a man who spark's her sister's interest when there is absolutely nothing in the letter that says he is not doing the job honestly, doing shabby work or defrauding the sister. All it says is that she thinks she wants him and he's not responding to her advances. The construction job has absolutely nothing to do with the problem.

What you should be focusing on here is the SISTER...why didn't you suggest grief counseling for her or a neurological evaluation since it is HER behavior that is not normal, not Mickey's?

LW3 - Have your friend replace your purchases and then you can pay her back.

LW3: Abby could have added - Don't borrow money from friends unless you don't want to be friends anymore.

#2 Perhaps you can ask her to drop everything for a while and go on a vacation with you. Maybe she will stop thinking of Mickey when she is distracted. Or maybe the reason her husband died suddenly is that she poisoned him and she intends to poison Mickey before she has to finish paying his bill.

SOMETHING'S MISSING : Very sad that the woman is so desperate for a relationship that she will buy house improvements to help the fantasy.

LW#2 I cannot imagine why you would need to investigate this man, since you clearly state he has not done anything to/with your sister. All you can do is talk to her and let her know your concerns....and be there when reality hits her. AT least the money is being spent on herself and is being invested in her home.

LW #3, did the stuff you bought magically turn up at this friend's house?

When I managed an automotive paint store, I use to have a habit of calling our regular customers "hon", "sweetie" on the phone, I never even gave it a second thought. UNTIL............ one customer was escorted to the store by his wife..... she was upset and wanted to "talk" to me about it. I told her I was sorry and meant nothing by it. Just a habit.......