'Eraser Button' Law in California Proves Jerry Brown Has No Idea How the Internet Works - The Decoder

There was big news out of the governor's office here in California, since Jerry Brown not only signed a bill into law that makes the Golden State the first in the nation to require websites to allow people younger than 18 to remove their own postings - but he simultaneously proved to the world that old people have no idea how the Internet works. 
Hopefully, next week he signs a bill into law that requires websites to allow 75-year-old governors to delete hypothetical laws.
Look, in theory this so-called "eraser button," which takes effect starting Jan. 1, 2015, is really great. I mean, I wish I had a way to erase the things I regret. Like when I got pantsed while playing basketball in 7th grade, and everyone saw my just-pubertized hairy Jewish butt. It looked like I sat on Seth Rogen. 
Or that time my mom caught me trying on her clothes because she came home early. 
Or how I regret telling you about my mom catching me in her clothes, because she came home early.
Unfortunately, as great of an idea as this is, it's just not possible. Sorry, Jerry, but that's not how the Internet works. And no matter how many times you Google it, there aren't any "bingo halls near the governors mansion serving complimentary prune juice during Matlock marathons." 
BOOM: Old person joke!
Sure, the post can be deleted from a page, but there aren't any stipulations requiring deletion of the actual data on the servers. And those servers may not even be in California - which means this law wants to regulate every website in the world. Regardless of whether or not it's under California's jurisdiction. But states have no problem complying with other states' laws, right? 
And what happens when someone else takes a screenshot of the soon to be deleted post? Like that time I tweeted about loving wearing my mom's underpants, but Oscar de la Hoya had already tweeted me back?
But hey, I applaud the effort, because it does come from a good place. But don't stop there. Why not make a cold fusion law? Or a law that makes unhappiness illegal? Or what about the bill i've been pushing - "the milk shake water faucet law." 
If milkshakes came out of every water faucet, you wouldn't need the unhappiness law! Everyone would be happy!
Oh, and if you're lactose intolerant, get out of California. Move to Portland, you hippie.

Original article from TakePart

View Comments (56)

Recommended for You

  • Luggage piece found on French island near possible MH370 debris

    Part of a bag was found Thursday on the French Indian Ocean island of La Reunion not far from plane debris which has fuelled speculation it may be from missing flight MH370. "The piece of luggage was here since yesterday but nobody really paid attention," said Johnny Begue, a member of a local…

  • Chicago man cleared after 17 years in prison shot dead

    CHICAGO (AP) — A Chicago man who served 17 years in prison for murder before being cleared of the crime has been shot and killed almost three years after being released from prison, police said Wednesday.

    Associated Press
  • Family Pet-Sitter Helps Herself To Homeowner's Possessions

    DEAR ABBY: A trusted and beloved family member who takes care of my cats -- and therefore has a key to my house -- has been stealing things like cleaning supplies, knickknacks, family pictures, etc. Most of them have little monetary value. But imagine my surprise when I spotted some of my missing…

    Dear Abby
  • An American Dentist Killed Zimbabwe’s Famous Lion

    Cecil the lion, a famous black-maned resident of Zimbabwe’s Hwange National Park, died at the hands of an American dentist, conservationists claim. “Mr. Palmer shot Cecil with a bow and arrow but this shot didn't kill him,” Johnny Rodrigues, chairman of the Zimbabwe Conservation Task Force, said in…

  • Hidden Security Cameras Are Shocking Surprise For Daughter

    DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old woman in college who still lives with my parents. I found out something several weeks ago that's bothering me, and I need advice badly. Years ago, after a robbery, my parents installed security cameras outside our house. I knew about them because they were visible. But…

    Dear Abby
  • Taliban disavows Afghan peace talks after leader declared dead

    By Kay Johnson KABUL (Reuters) - The Taliban's official spokesman disavowed peace talks with the Afghan government on Thursday, throwing fledgling efforts to negotiate an end to 14 years of war into disarray. The statement came a day after the Afghan government said that Mullah Omar, the elusive…

  • Dashcam catches off-duty cop threatening to put 'hole in head' of driver

    Technically Incorrect: A Massachusetts driver makes a wrong turn. What happens next, all filmed on his dashcam, has led to an investigation. And yes, it's now on YouTube.

  • Play

    Body cam footage from Cincinnati shooting contradicts official story

    A University of Cincinnati police officer has been indicted for murder after body camera footage contradicted his official story outlining the events that led to the shooting death of unarmed Cincinnati driver Samuel Dubose.

    Reuters Videos
  • Trump leads Republicans, but Democrats thump him: poll

    Bombastic US billionaire Donald Trump handily leads all fellow Republicans in the 2016 presidential race, though Hillary Clinton and other Democrats trump him in head-to-head matchups, a poll said Thursday. Trump plunged into the crowded Republican nomination battle last month, and has since…

  • Buffalo Snow Pile Refuses to Melt Eight Months After Snowstorm

    The sun is shining, swimming pools are open and there’s still a giant snow pile in New York.The calendar says it’s almost August, but an estimated 12-feet-tall snow pile still lingers in Buffalo, New York from a snow storm eight months ago.“The original problem started back in November,” New York…

    ABC News
  • Killer deal: Amazon will pay you $10 to buy a $30 Google Chromecast

    Google’s little Chromecast dongle is pretty awesome. The device plugs into the HDMI port on any HDTV or monitor and instantly gives users access to movies, TV shows, videos, music, photos and more that can be streamed from any Android device. Best of all, perhaps, the Chromecast is wonderfully…

    BGR News
  • How to upgrade to Windows 10: A step-by-step walkthrough

    It's July 29, 2015 or later and Windows 10 is now available as a free update. Here is what you can expect when you say "yes" to the update.

  • Independent media battle on in Putin's Russia

    By Timothy Heritage MOSCOW (Reuters) - Alexei Venediktov, one of Russia's most prominent journalists, does not go out without a bodyguard and does not answer mobile phone calls for fear of being tracked. Such precautions do not seem out of place in a country where at least 17 journalists have been…

  • Kurdish rebels attack Turkish security forces, killing 5

    ANKARA, Turkey (AP) — Kurdish rebels have attacked Turkish security forces in two separate assaults in southeast Turkey, killing five people, officials said. One rebel was also killed.

    Associated Press
  • Internet mauls dentist accused of illegal kill of popular lion

    Technically Incorrect: Walter Palmer, a dentist in Minnesota, has his Yelp entry attacked by those not fond of his allegedly illegal killing of Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe.

  • Police Officer Involved in Deadly Cincinnati Shooting of Samuel DuBose Indicted for Murder, Dismissed from Force

    "I'm treating him like a murderer," prosecutor Joseph Deters said during a news conference when describing the warrant out for a police officer who killed Samuel DuBose, 43, earlier this month. Footage released today from a police officer's body cam lasts about 10 minutes and shows the shooting.…

    ABC News
  • Boko Haram 'slits throats of 10 fishermen' near Lake Chad

    Boko Haram Islamists slit the throats of 10 fishermen in villages near Baga on the shores of the Lake Chad in northeastern Nigeria, a leading fisherman and a resident said Thursday. "On Monday around 4 pm (1500 GMT), Boko Haram attacked three villages on the shores of Lake Chad where they…