BAKERSFIELD, Calif. -- Proposition 8 has been at the front of my mind since I found out it'd be on the November 2008 ballot. When I learned today it was found unconstitutional by Judge Vaughn Walker, I felt like my heart stopped. Tears pooled in my eyes, a minute later I was shouting joyously through the house, grabbing the phone and calling my fiancé with the news.
I am a mother in my 30s to three boys. I am probably one of the most normal people you'll ever meet. I volunteer at my children's school, hold a position in the Booster Club, enjoy baking, thrift-store shopping and going on vacations.
I am also a lesbian. That does not change who I am as a person. I am just me. The only difference between me and most other women is that I am in love with a woman, not a man. I met my girlfriend in 2008, just a few months before Prop. 8 passed. My girlfriend is in her mid 40s and has one daughter who lives with her ex-husband. We hadn't known each other long enough to get married before the November election. Neither one of us wanted to make a lifetime commitment without being sure -- just what any other couple would do.
Our courtship was very much related to Prop. 8. We went to several rallies together and stood on street corners, holding signs and trying to get people to realize how unfair Prop. 8 was. I live in Bakersfield, and it's very conservative and often unfriendly to gay rights. As we stood on corners with other members of the LGBTQ community, we heard insult after insult. I just smiled as if it didn't bother me, and when people honked in support, I could have wept with gratitude.
After Prop. 8 passed, I was devastated. My girlfriend and I had spent all this time fighting for our family and for what we believed in only to have our hopes smashed. It took a while for me to pull myself together. But when I did, I became the new coordinator for a family group called Family OUTings. It's geared toward LGBTQ families with children so that my children and others could attend fun events where they could feel comfortable.
I asked my girlfriend to marry me in March 2009. (Beat her to the punch! She was already planning on proposing.) We were on a Disneyland trip with our children and on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, I asked for her hand, slipped on a ring and whispered, "Will you marry me?" in her ear as the boat floated down one of the tunnels. It turned out being very romantic and Disneyland was indeed the happiest place on Earth that day. Of course, we haven't been able to get married legally, but with Prop. 8 now unconstitutional, we have hopes that someday we will.
Tonight, the LGBTQ community will gather for a rally. My girlfriend and I will be there, holding our signs proudly. Today's ruling gives us hope and is only one step of many. But no matter what happens, I know my girlfriend will be standing by my side in the hope that, someday, I can call her my wife.
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