We Found an Episode of the New Young-People-on-Capitol-Hill Reality Show
After the Washington Examiner reported that a "veteran of House of Cards" was working on a reality show focused on young people (aged 19 to 29) on Capitol Hill, The Wire was lucky enough to get ahold of the contents of one of the show's already-filmed scenes. We present this exclusive look at it to you now.
The title:
The show will be called The Hill, after focus groups rejected Strivertown, USA.
The cast:
In this scene, we meet four of the cast members.
Shep, 20. Always seen in a seersucker suit, Shep works for a member of the House leadership in an unclear capacity.
Peyton, 21. Peyton recently began an internship in the office of a Republican senator, taking a break from her junior year at Colgate.
Alex, 27. A former staffer for Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, he now works as a lobbyist for the chemical industry.
Katherine, 28. A policy aide to a Democratic House member, who is ranking member of a key subcommittee.
The scene:
We meet up with the cast late in Episode 2. Shep, Peyton, and Alex are sitting at Capitol Lounge on the Hill, their regular haunt. Katherine walks in; Shep spots her.
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Shep, excitedly: Heeeey, Kat! (He hugs her; she recoils.) Ugh, did that bum outside ask you for money? He bugged me and Alex, too. (Alex nods.) Get. A. Job. You know? (He laughs.)
Katherine, obviously annoyed, sits next to Alex.
Alex, to Katherine: Hey. (They side-hug. Katherine sighs.) So what was that about? Are you and Shep fighting? You seemed to get along so well last night.
Flashback to the previous night, also at Capitol Lounge. A visibly intoxicated Katherine and Shep head into a bathroom together.
Alex, figuring it out: Oh, no. (He laughs.) Kaaaaaaaaatherine! (She shudders again.)
Alex, pulling her aside and glancing at the camera: Katherine. Did you sleep with Shep because you're dissatisfied with your career and feel like, even at 28, you're considered too old to be a young up-and-comer but are not old enough to carry D.C. gravitas?
Katherine: No, this isn't House of Cards. I was drunk.
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Shep, interrupting loudly: Guys, come here. I want to make a toast. (The two rejoin him.)
Shep: So, I would like to make a toast to the reason we are here tonight: My election as vice president of Association of D.C. Clemson Graduates. (They all applaud, at various levels of enthusiasm.) So this is a toast to me, but really, it's a toast to all of us making it big in the most important city in the world! (More applause.)
Cut to Peyton in the confessional. (The backdrop is the Capitol.)
Peyton: I am totally excited about Shep. I get that his Sig Chi brother founded it, but it's still an election! This is a big election win, and I can say that I was there for the first one.
Back to the bar.
Katherine: Actually, there's something I'd like to say, too. We've all been here for—
Suddenly and unexpectedly, the sky darkens. As ghoulish horsemen storm through the streets, devout Christians ascend into Heaven. Without any ceremony, the world's sinners are cast into Hell. That's where we pick up with our cast again in Episode 3.
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The theme song:
Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)"
This article was originally published at http://www.thewire.com/politics/2014/04/we-found-an-episode-of-the-new-capitol-hill-reality-show/360821/
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