FTW vs. WTF: The TV Week in Review (February 1–7)
Winter may be messing everything up right now—including farmers' crops, the ability to easily drive down a road, and your will to live—but one thing that's still flourishing is television. The period between Christmas and Major League Baseball's opening day would be the most boring time to be alive if it weren't for TV. So while you throw another log in the wood-burning stove, stick your bare feet underneath your cats to keep them warm, and turn the thermostat up to "Saharan," don't forget to hug that glowing box in your living room to show it that you appreciate everything it does to keep you entertained when you should be freezing to death. Plus it's warm.
Note: This advice is for everyone except residents of Southern California, Florida, and anywhere else that's not a tundra right now. Screw you guys.
And now let's talk about what was hot and what was cold on TV this week!
SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't finished watching this week's new episodes (of Jane the Virgin, Helix, The Blacklist, etc.), we suggest that you hold off on reading this story until you do.
FTW:
The Blacklist delivers a wild, fun two-parter that could change the show forever
In its first episodes of the new year, The Blacklist showcased the full range of its potential. The post-Super Bowl effort brought the high-powered and fun action with a great guest spot from Ron Perlman, while Thursday's conclusion turned the focus to Liz's memories in a more narratively significant outing. Best of all, Liz finally has a real upper hand on Red (and everyone else) for the first time in, well, forever—and that could mean new territory for a show that could use the shake-up.
FTW:
Chasing Life makes everyone likable again
Dammit, Chasing Life. Why'd you have to go and remind us of how great Dominic is? Why'd you have to go and make us second guess our feelings regarding April and Leo? Why'd you have to go and make us like Natalie? Why'd you have to go and pair up Dominic and Natalie, because it's obviously going to cause problems between April and Natalie? WHY DO YOU MAKE OUR HEARTS HURT ALL THE TIME?
FTW:
Jane the Virgin reveals the identity of Sin Rostro
ROSE IS SIN ROSTRO? How did we miss this? We knew she was a capable liar, but this feels like something we should have seen coming. Now Rafael thinks his father is a drug dealer and a murderer on the run, but he's actually dead and covered in concrete. Poor guy! Why are stepmothers so evil? And speaking of poor guys, Rogelio was killed off The Passions of Santos because his assistant is a dick and a manipulative liar! Now the show is just Passions and even Rogelio hated Passions, which is saying something. Here's hoping he lands a new (and better) gig soon.
FTW:
Katrina flirts with the dark side on Sleepy Hollow
Giving Katrina something resembling a storyline of her own can only be considered a good thing. Don't blow this one, writers.
FTW:
Agent Carter has the Howling Commandos on speed dial
We've loved every second of Marvel's Agent Carter thus far, but this week's episode, which took Agents Carter and Thompson to Russia on a mission with the Howling Commandos, was its best one yet. With an appearance by Dum Dum Dugan and the discovery of the precursor to the Black Widow program, "The Iron Ceiling" seamlessly inserted itself into the greater Marvel Cinematic Universe and was full of action and excitement, too. Pssst, ABC! If you renewed the show for a second season, we'd definitely watch.
FTW:
Switched at Birth tackles a controversial subject with grace and complexity
ABC Family's Switched at Birth has never been afraid to tackle messy issues, but this week's episode unveiled a story involving the blurry cocktail of alcohol, sex, and consent on college campuses, to really great effect. The show managed to handle the story of Bay and Tank's confusing night of drinking and sex without providing clear answers, vilifying characters, or engaging in high-horse moralizing. Bravo!
FTW:
Parks and Recreation got drunk... and now Ben is running for Congress
In "Donna and Joe," Kathryn Hahn returned to Pawnee as the amazing Jennifer Barkley, the titular couple said "I do" in front of all their family and friends—including Donna's cousin Ginuwine!—Leslie drank too much and called 867-5309 a bunch of times, and Ben also drank too much and decided to run for Congress! Stop being so damn perfect all the time, Parks and Rec, it makes everything else look bad in comparison.
FTW:
Fresh Off the Boat is good, that's all
The first network series in 20 years to feature a predominantly Asian-American cast charmed the pants off us (metaphorically speaking; we weren't actually wearing pants in the first place). The satirical culture clash sitcom is surprisingly twisted and sharp, the cast led by Constance Wu and Randall Park is outstanding, and it sure is nice to see TV broaden its diversity portfolio by representing an underserved portion of the country. The ratings were solid, too: The show's two-episode premiere earned a 2.5 and 2.4 rating in the important 18-to-49 demo. Who wants to meet up at Cattleman's Ranch to celebrate?
FTW:
Empire chases the dollars, lets it Drip Drop
The budding war between Hakeem and Jamal intensified this week as each artist released a new song—the former's vacuous booty anthem "Drip Drop" and the latter's poetic takedown of the pursuit of wealth—and Empire showcased the brothers' different approaches to life and success. And in the episode's climax, the jams were layered together (dope!) while Hakeem filmed a video full of half-naked ladies and jetskis and Jamal cobbled together a last-minute skeleton crew in a tiny, rundown studio. The way the two songs were slowly remixed throughout the hour was gorgeous; Empire's music production, from beat master Timbaland, is better than good. Believe the hype!
FTW:
The 100's Clarke Griffin is a motherf'ing boss, yo
We could talk about how Maya saved Bellamy from the harvest chamber and is now plotting his own Trojan Horse-style attack on the Mountain Men. We could talk about how Jasper grew a set of balls and confronted President Wallace and ended up saving Monty and Harper. We could talk about Cage overthrowing his father in a coup. But all we really care about after this week's excellent episode is this line: "You may be the chancellor, but I'm in charge." Holy shit, remind us never to piss off Clarke Griffin. That woman is a boss and we're totally scared of her. Now the only question is whether or not she'll become the real—in title and everything—leader of the Sky People. She's already calling the shots, so it feels like it's only a matter of time...
FTW:
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia puts Charlie in Charge
It turns out that Charlie does a lot more than we ever could've imagined. "Charlie Work" was one of the show's best episodes in years, as the Paddy's Pub janitor stepped up and saw to it that the bar passed its health inspection even while the rest of the gang tried to pull off a chicken-and-air-mile steak scam for the ages. Also: Can we talk about the camera work on that True Detective-style tracking shot to make Charlie's inspection-day trickery look like a single continuous sequence? Good stuff.
FTW:
When did Bonnie become someone we care about on The Vampire Diaries?
We all knew Bonnie wouldn't kill herself on her birthday, but watching Elena, Damon, and Jeremy force Kai—who was feeling empathetic after merging with Luke—to help them contact her in the alternate prison dimension made for some fine TV. It's also nice to know that the writers have finally found a way to make Bonnie a character we care about, instead of just a magical save-all.
FTW:
Banshee goes for broke in yet another tremendous episode
If you're not watching Banshee, you're doing yourself a truly painful disservice. Friday's episode, only the fifth in the show's supremely awesome third season, was like a bottle episode from hell. Filmed almost entirely on the sheriff's department set, "Tribal" produced numerous intense moments of action and violence (so many squibs) but also found just as many opportunities to pull at our heartstrings with character-based stuff. The final sequence, with the seemingly unstoppable Chayton breaking fan-favorite Siobhan's neck as Hood could only look on, was about as good as anything you'll see on TV this year—and there are somehow still five episodes to go.
FTWTF:
Fiona's questionable decision-making continues on Shameless
FIONA FREAKING MARRIED GUS, THE HOT MUSICIAN GUY, AFTER LIKE A WEEK. THAT WILL TOTALLY NOT BLOW UP IN HER FACE, RIGHT? But more important than Fiona's impulsivity is Ian's mental health, which continues to worsen the longer he goes without treatment. Mickey has tried taking care of him, but it seems like he's finally realizing love isn't enough to help Ian. Oh, and Lip totally charmed Amanda's dad and they geeked out over, like, engineering. That was kind of nice to see after all the crazy shit happening in Chicago. More, please!
FTWTF:
Netflix takes on more debt as the Great Digital Distribution Arms Race continues
In case you didn't think the competition between Netflix, Amazon, and whomever else was a big deal, Netflix announced that it's bumping up its long-term debt from the small number of $1 billion to the slightly larger amount of $1.5 billion so that it can put more resources toward producing original content for all of us to binge-watch. With that much money, Netflix won't have to stop at reviving your favorite canceled series—it can resurrect back them all.
FTWTF:
The Mindy Project has a bun in the oven?!?!
We honestly don't know how we feel about the last scene of "No More Mr. Noishe Guy," which revealed that one Mindy Lahiri is with child. Life moves in huge leaps, indeed! We're admittedly pretty intrigued to see what the show does with the storyline... but what did you think?
FTWTF:
Hindsight takes a road trip... and crashes
We love VH1's Hindsight (seriously, you should be watching it!), and this week's episode split up the show's male and female contingents for the purpose of a little friendly bonding. But it was a little weird seeing Sean and Andy as bros, even if they didn't end the evening as BFFs, and the ending of the episode in which Andy was involved in a car crash, likely on his way to meet up with Becca because he wants to be with her, was not our favorite moment. Wasn't Becca panicking right before their wedding in 2015? Why is she so sure now that he's the one? Andy seems like a dweeb, and the show hasn't given us any reason to be on Team Andy other than that they go way, way back and were getting married in the future. He's competing against a man with an accent, sexy abs, and ripped jeans. The show's going to need to do more to prove that we should actually be rooting for Andy. (However, Hottie McHotterson that was flirting with Lolly? Totally approve).
FTWTF:
Helix's Dr. Hatake and Daniel embark on a nonsensical Helix detour
This week in Helix insanity: a tripping Dr. Hatake took his hallucina-son Daniel on a fishing excursion to the tune of the "Andy Griffith Theme." Why? Why not?
WTF:
NBC has fallen under Dick Wolf's spell yet again, is developing Chicago Med
How many more Chicago-set procedurals can Dick Wolf convince NBC to produce before the network gets wise? Chicago Legal, Chicago Taxi, and Chicago LLC are sure to follow, until Wolf and Chicago control the entire NBC schedule—and eventually the world.
WTF:
The Bachelor's love guru
Lipless Chris and cruise-singer Carly went on a disastrous date with a love guru who gave them advice on how to feel each other and possibly how to incorporate crystals into their foreplay. It was uncomfortable for everyone, and because the episode was thin on content, lasted wayyyy too long (the entire ordeal spans FIVE YouTube clips). Gross. Even Lily and Price were turned off.
WTF:
MasterChef Junior eliminates its tiniest competitor
Eight-year-old Riley—who only comes up to Gordon Ramsay's ankle and was the youngest contestant to ever appear on the pint-sized version of Fox's cooking program—left the kitchen this week after an impressive run that put him in the Top 8. His culinary instincts may be on par with those of the world's best chefs, but we think the extra time he spent climbing onto step stools to reach the counter may have done him in. We'll miss you, Riley!
WTF:
Gunnar and Micah wage war on our ears with their own song on Nashville
The country-music soap's worst storyline ever (yes, even worse than Scarlett's stage fright or Scarlett's friendship with a washed-up blues singer or Scarlett herself) was magnified when annoying bastard child Micah and his ex-dad/current uncle Gunnar sat down for a painful duet and pathetic congratulatory high-five. There's hope, though: Micah may have been scooped up by his grandparents and taken away from the series for good. Why people are fighting over the wandering wet blanket is beyond us, but please, Nashville, get rid of him!
WTF:
Allegiance suffers from Smartest Guy in the Room Syndrome
Man oh man there are a lot of characters on TV right now who are extremely intelligent yet lack an understanding of social graces. From Doctor Who to Sleepy Hollow to Suits to Sherlock to Scorpion, the whole Smartest Guy in the Room routine is getting a bit out of hand—and that's why Alex from Allegiance, NBC's mediocre new spy series, is more than a little off-putting. What's more, you're telling us that a guy who can use his special powers of observation to determine how hot a furnace was burning based on some condensation couldn't figure out that his parents and sister were Russian spies? THAT FEELS LIKE SOMETHING HE SHOULD HAVE PICKED UP ON BY NOW.
What's on YOUR list of TV loves and hates this week? The Super Bowl's dancing sharks and depressing commercials? Supernatural's Teen Dean adventure? Person of Interest's confirmation of Shaw's fate? The Flash's night of drunken karaoke? Oliver's return to Starling City on Arrow? The Americans' inventive new method for packing a suitcase? Archer's bottle episode in an elevator? Share your own FTWs and WTFs in the comments!
