FTW vs. WTF: The TV Week in Review (March 22–28)
We were going hold off on saying anything until later this year, but Ted Cruz forced our hand this week by announcing that he's running for president. So, here goes. After much speculation, we can finally announce that TV.com is running for president, too. You're welcome.
Our platform is simple: We promise to shorten the workweek to allow for more television-watching. We will declare four holidays a year specifically devoted to binge-watching and catching up on the shows you've fallen behind on. We promise to reduce Kardashian television appearances by 50 percent, in hopes of achieving a Kardashian-free TV schedule by 2018. We will un-cancel Firefly and re-cancel The Mob Doctor just for the hell of it. We will divert the federal budget for drones and stealth bombers to providing flat-screen TVs and Netflix subscriptions to the impoverished. And yes, we will name Zayn Malik as our running mate. TV.com/Malik in 2016!
Also, here's what we liked and didn't like from the week in television!
SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't finished watching this week's new episodes (of The Walking Dead, Justified, Vikings, etc.), we suggest that you hold off on reading this story until you do.
FTW:
The Walking Dead's Ricktatorship becomes a Michonnocracy
Sunday's stage-setting episode saw looneytoons Rick finally get what was coming to him after he rambled about the Alexandrians' weakness and wrestled with Pete in the middle of the street. THWACK! Sit down, Rick! You crazy old kook! There's a new sheriff in town.
FTW:
The Late Late Show With James Corden is not bad!
Those who mourn the loss of Craig Ferguson from late night should rest assured that the timeslot is in good hands. It's not the same as it was before (Corden's set is definitely more high-class bar than Ferguson's dimly lit pub), but it definitely has potential. And that potential's name is Reggie Watts. But Corden's doing some good things, too. We'll get used to the giggling eventually.
FTW:
iLove iZombie's Blaine
Tell us again when we're supposed to get to the hating part of "love-to-hate"? David Anders' charismatic Blaine, who was formally introduced this week as iZombie's main villain, is definitely our new favorite TV character. Dude is quite a charmer for being a selfish, manipulative, and generally morally corrupt individual.
FTW:
Justified shoots us in the heart
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL, AVA? The woman at the center of Justified's consistently fantastic final season put a slug in Boyd's chest and ran away with $10 million in a move that shocked us all but particularly devastated TV.com's resident Boyd Crowder superfan, Kaitlin Thomas. Think about Kaitlin next time, Ava.
FTW:
Kroll Show calls it a series with a fitting, comprehensive send-off
The gang was mostly all there for the end of Nick Kroll's bizarre sketch comedy, as PubLIZity's Lizzes, the Too Much Tuna guys, and more all enjoyed some wacky closure. We'll spend the next week listening to "Pleep Ploop" in your honor, show.
FTW:
Community's Dean receives some mixed messages from "Jeffrey"
Season 6's (probably) best episode to date also featured its best gag when the Dean thought he was texting Jeff but was actually talking to a pair of Japanese teenagers, who were more than happy to keep up the ruse. Keep the cans of olives coming, Dean!
FTW:
The Americans stuns us with a quiet conversation
Guest-star Lois Smith was tremendous as Betty, the poor old lady who Elizabeth spilled her guts to and then somewhat-compassionately slow-murdered by forcing her to overdose on heart medication. This show really knows how to twist the emotional knife.
FTW:
Supernatural remembers that the Men of Letters exist
FINALLY, Rowena got to do something other than play Mommie Dearest to Crowley's hapless king of hell in this week's "Paint It Black." While torturing her former superior in the Grand Coven, Rowena revealed to us all that those pesky Men of Letters, the ancestral fraternity of those irritating Winchester brothers, decimated the once-powerful witches and plundered their secrets. Lucky for Rowena, her bouncing baby boy is currently frenemies with the occupants of the Men of Letters' magical mystery bunker.
FTW:
Birchbox offers Mad Men-themed April shipments
We like TV. We like fancy face creams and high-end(ish) makeup. We like '60s swag. What's not to like about Birchbox's guest-curator boxes that celebrate the AMC drama? They even come in California and New York-flavored options.
FTW:
Hart of Dixie goes out with a song in its heart
At its core, The CW's charming and heartwarming Hart of Dixie was always about good people finding happiness in a small town, and Friday's season (and probably series) finale wrapped up each and every one of the show's ongoing storylines in perfect little boxes topped with bows that were probably made of unicorn hair and puppy tears. Zoe and Wade became parents, Lemon and Lavon tied the knot, AnnaBeth eventually moved to Nashville to be with George, and Crickett even shacked up with her girlfriend! We couldn't have asked for a shinier, happier goodbye to the wacky and whimsical town of Bluebell, Alabama.
FTWTF:
HBO cancels Looking after an excellent and emotional roller coaster of a finale
The HBO dramedy capped off its second season by revealing that Agustin and Eddie had somehow become its most stable relationship, with Doris and Dom agreeing to be independent people and Patrick realizing he might not have a future with Kevin. Somehow it had escaped Patrick that he and Kevin didn't share the same views on monogamy, even though the signs were all there. We can't really fault him, though, because we tried to ignore the signs that HBO was probably going to cancel the low-rated series, which got the axe a few days later. Thank goodness the network will help mend our broken dreams with a series finale film. And hey, at least we'll always have that time Patrick, Dom, and Doris danced to "Walking on Sunshine" to remind us of what happiness feels like.
FTWTF:
Root and Finch's relationship gets even more complicated on Person of Interest
The CBS series' best pair took another bold step in "Skip," as Root went rogue and prevented Finch from getting himself killed. The cost was months of Finch's work, their best shot at figuring out Samaritan, and Finch's budding romance with Beth—but in the end, Finch was alive. Of course, since Finch was ready to sacrifice himself for the cause, he didn't appreciate Root's interference. So Finch decided he needed to take a break from Root... which means it might be a while before we see these two fantastic characters together again. Bummer.
FTWTF:
Vikings murders another character, and we're sad
Just two weeks after the show offed Siggy, it sent another character packing in "Born Again." But this one isn't headed to Valhalla. Athelstan and his heathen god pushed Floki's rage to a boiling point of no return, and upon receiving a sign from the totems, Floki planted an axe in Athelstan's head immediately after the victim was born again. Athelstan didn't seem too bothered, having finally gotten the attention from God that he'd always wanted, but what about us!?!? Was it too soon to kill off one of the series' most interesting individuals? Time will tell, but one thing is certain: The death yielded another great performance from Travis Fimmel as Ragnar buried his dear friend and revealed something even more shocking than Athelstan's death: his possible acceptance of a crucifix. WHAT?!
FTWTF:
LOL CSI: Cyber sets fires through the internet via people's printers
We honestly can't get enough of this show's utterly ridiculous fear-mongering.
WTF:
Alicia is the new State's Attorney of Cook County
Dammit, The Good Wife. Nobody really wanted Alicia to win the election that's been looming all season, and even viewers who were sort of in favor of it when her campaign began have soured on the whole mess. We're sort of struggling to see how the show will balance the narrative demands of Alicia's old firm with those of Alicia's new position in its still-theoretical Season 7. Oh well. At least Diane went hunting with a bunch of Republicans. That was amusing.
WTF:
Shameless's Sammi begs for Milkovich-style vengeance
While this week's episode as a whole deserves a FTW, Sammi turning in Ian to the military police—right before Ian and Mickey were going to go on their first real dinner date—was a big ol' WTF. That was COLD. Yes, she's in pain because of what happened to her son, but Carl is to blame for Chuckie's predicament, not Ian. Not all Gallaghers are created equal, lady. Plus: You just crossed the WRONG violent boyfriend.
WTF:
The Mindy Project abruptly flies to India to conclude Season 3 (and maybe even the series) with a kinda-depressing cliffhanger
We love you, Mindy, we really do, but even though we appreciated the risk you took with your title character's pregnancy storyline, it's kind of destroyed your mojo. Things have been a little off ever since Danny and Mindy's bundle of "joy" started hogging the spotlight, with plots getting messier and more contrived while the ensemble cast was unfairly sidelined. And now Mindy's parents don't know about Danny and Danny is confronting them on another continent, all while the show's ratings aren't good enough to ensure it will be back for Season 4? Not what we were hoping for.
WTF:
Pretty Little Liars mocks our gullibility
Ha! Did you believe Janel Parrish and Marlene King when they said Mona was dead? You dumb. You SO dumb. The Season 5 finale served up a big helping of who A is (Spencer calls him "Charles") and who else might be involved, but it also revealed you how stupid we are to have looked upon Mona's seriously dead-looking body and witnessed her funeral and accepted the fact that she was truly gone. Or who knows, maybe Mona actually was dead. Rosewood is a world where someone can anonymously build a Dharma Initiative-like complex of psychological torment, four prisoners can be kidnapped without any red flags, and two teenagers can build an EMP from memory. Maybe someone just brought Mona back from the other side? Ravenswood is just a short bus ride away...
WTF:
Arrow's Diggle isn't even the star of his own episode
Seriously, show? Would it have killed you to take a break from Oliver's problems for one week? At the very least, you owed us more than just two minutes from Dig and Lyla's wedding.
What's on YOUR list of TV loves and hates this week? The Last Man on Earth's ever-expanding cast? The debut of Comedy Central's Big Time in Hollywood, FL? The spring premiere of Bones? Share your own FTWs and WTFs in the comments!
