'Game of Thrones' Beats 'Mad Men'

The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: A victor in the Quality TV war has been decided, a gang of British teens snubs the White House, and some exciting theater news.

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In the epic battle between two shows that only a very few people watch but that everyone who writes about TV writes about ad nauseam forever, Game of Thrones has defeated Mad Men. Well, for a night anyway. Thrones' second season premiere wrangled in some 3.9 million viewers last Sunday night, while Mad Men on the same evening only snagged 2.9 million. So, that's it! Game of Thrones wins, Thrones wins! Eat that, Don Draper. If you don't want to eat it, Betty can help you. (Fat Betty!) Winter may be coming to Westeros, but it's already there on Madison Avenue. Boom. There it is. Definitive. Can't believe the long war is over. Let us stand in awe for a moment and gaze at the scorched battlefield. And then, sure, you can go back to watching whatever it is the vast majority of you are watching on Sunday nights. The Amazing Race? It's The Amazing Race, isn't it. That's fine. Enjoy it. [The New York Times]

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British boy band sensation The Beatles One Direction has turned down an invitation from Yankee First Lady Michelle Obama to perform at the White House's annual Easter Egg roll. (Not a Chinese appetizer they eat on Easter, they actually roll eggs.) The band's people cited a prior commitment, but what do you think the *real* reason is?? Are Harry, Louis, Liam, Niall, and Zayn all Tories who wouldn't be caught dead at an American liberal shindig? Are they all, true to their British heritage, Druid pagans who reject their fertility holiday being co-opted by the Christians? These are very likely explanations, far more likely than a supposed "prior commitment." This is the First Lady we're talking about. You don't just turn her down for nothing. The truth is out there. Tell us your truths, boys! [Politico]

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Oh my. VH1 is in the early stages of putting together an hour-long scripted show called Bounce. No it is not a TV version of that Don Roos sadsack Gwyneth Paltrow plane crash movie. It is so much better than that. It is about the world of professional basketball dancers! You know, the cheerleaders. So it's Bring It On with adults and professional basketball players. How could that not be good? Plus it's going to star Dean Cain. Yes, the Dean Cain. As in Scott Peterson, as in Clark, of Lois & Clark. He'll be the coach of the basketball team, naturally. On a sadder note (though this whole setup is already pretty sad to be sure), Kimberly Elise, who was once in Beloved for freak's sake, will be playing the bitter former cheerleader mother of one of the current cheerleaders. So... that's unfortunate. But, whatever, work is work! And this could be campy and amazing and wonderful. Or, it could be Hellcats with grownups. We'll just have to wait and see. But right now we're rooting for you, Bounce. Go, team! [Deadline]

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Buried in a roundup of various international wheelings and dealings is this bizarre bit of news:

Exsqueezeme? 1) "The Heartthrob Games." That's just... o_O And 2) When was this made, this week? The Hunger Games just came out! I guess these dudes were cast in the movie a while ago, but this still seems strange and hasty. Is it going to be like one of those quickie fan videos that they'd make for Hanson and Britney Spears back in the day, like the ones where they'd go to their hometowns and interview random store clerks and go-kart owners? (That's specific to one particular Britney Spears video that my sister bought as a teenager and, good grief, it was depressing. "Yeah, Britney used to come around and we'd play go-karts. I think she'll come back someday and we'll play go-karts again.") This is just very funny, especially that they're calling it a "doc," meaning documentary, and that it's selling at Cannes. The big film festival isn't until next month, but still. What a grand place to sell The Heartthrob Games! Anyway, if you guys want to go in on buying some copies in bulk, let me know because I already have the order form half filled-out. [Deadline]

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This is very exciting if you like Amy Adams and/or musical theater. The chipper songbird has joined the cast of the Public Theater's Into the Woods revival which will be playing in Central Park this summer. So it's one of the madhouse free ones that will now be extra insane because Amy friggin' Adams in it. We already had agita about getting tickets to this damn thing and now Amy Adams? Ugh. We just hope that Meryl Streep isn't cast as the witch, as we've heard rumored, because then forget it, we will never be able to get tickets ever. (Just kidding Meryl, we'll find a way. Come play the witch!!!!) [Playbill]

Speaking of theater, Neil Patrick Harris, gay ambassador to straight America, has been tapped to once again host the Tony Awards in June. Harris, a song and dance man himself, has hosted twice before. He's always been fun and has caused little spikes in the ratings, so, well done, Tonys producers. Of course he'll inevitably get fired and be replaced by Brett Ratner and Eddie Murphy, but for now this sounds good. [Entertainment Weekly]

One more theater thing before we move on to the fun stuff. Kevin Smith, director of such stirring entertainments as Clerks II and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, has said that he would like to do a threequel (I apologize) to Clerks as a Broadway play. He said in a recent interview: "Clerks III is gonna be a play on Broadway. We’ll do a six month run and sell out the entirety in advance." He was saying that to a cast member, it was a remembered conversation basically, but still. If Mr. Smith knows his theater, and I'm assuming he does given that he's confident enough to forecast for himself a six month sold-out run on Broadway, then he must know the word hubris? Because, yikes. Look, dude, I know the South Park guys are the toast of Broadway now and that's probably gotta chafe a bit, but Clerks III as a Broadway (or at least intended for Broadway) play? Incorrect. If anything, do Dogma: The Musical. Or maybe, like, Chasing Amy as a chamber opera. No Clerks, though. No more Clerks, on Broadway or anywhere. Six month sold-out run my Aunt Fanny. Maybe he was being a little jokey or facetious, in which case whatever, but maybe he wasn't. Which is bleak. [Entertainment Weekly]

Here's a first trailer for Woody Allen's upcoming comedy To Rome With Love, which once long ago was called The Bop Decameron. Allen has apparently since disavowed any connection to The Decameron and says this film is just four vignettes about relationships in Italy's wonderful capital city. The film features Ellen Page as a bi-curious gal [clears throat], Jesse Eisenberg as a stuttering young Allen, Allen himself as the man lucky enough to be married to the fabulous scratch-voiced Judy Davis, and Penelope Cruz as a saucy prostitute. Looks like one of Allen's lighter pictures, which is fine. We're still wishing he'd continued down the dark road he started on with Match Point and Cassandra's Dream, but oh well. Breezy Woody Allen comedy in Rome sounds fine too.

And here's a second trailer for the upcoming jukebox movie musical Rock of Ages. In this reel we see Tom Cruise and Julianne Hough singing, catch glimpses of the film's dewy eyed hero Diego Boneta (who was supposed to play be-fig-leafed Adam in that scuttled Paradise Lost movie), and get some more jokes from Alec Baldwin. And, gulp, dare we say that maybe, just maybe, it all looks kind of fun? Yes, yes, it's garish and loud and possibly deeply, deeply annoying. But... hm... there's a glimmer of something here? It's probably crazy talk, but give this a watch and see for yourself. Just... give it a watch.