Geraldo Rivera Is Not the King of Rohan
Fox News host Geraldo Rivera and his mustache have decided not to run for Senate in New Jersey, Rivera reported on Friday.
In a Fox News Latino post, Rivera confirmed the news by comparing his perilous tale to that of the characters of The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
"There is a scene in The Lord of the Rings where my favorite character, the aging, battle-weary Théoden, King of Rohan is confronted with a profound dilemma. Determined to honor his ancient oath and ride to the rescue of his ally the besieged nation of Gondor, he is told that his forces are insufficient to defeat the enemy, evil Mordor.
"'No. We can not. But we will meet them in battle nonetheless,' Théoden answers grimly, doomed by honor and destiny to perish in what seems a lost cause. And he dies, but because of his sacrifice the good guys ultimately win."
The King of Rohan, however, is the not the character that one is reminded of when thinking of Rivera. Maybe a Pippin, a bumbling hobbit that gets into trouble with his ill-thought words or naïve actions. Or maybe he is the Nazgûl, the huge dragon-flying-screeching-bat-shaped monster that carries the evil witch-king and eventually claims the life of the good king.
Tolkien references aside, the voters of New Jersey will sadly be without the entertaining Rivera for at least this election. But who knows, in a couple of years, he may be the politician to rule them all.
Here's the scene:
(Tumblr)
