We Hear Pepper Spray Tastes 'Delicious'
If Fox News's Megyn Kelly actually has to eat pepper spray for her off-comment on last night's O'Reilly Factor, we hear it tastes good. After reducing the painful crowd-control substance to "a food product, essentially," Kelly has drawn the Internet out to play. There are the Gawker commenters making other off-comparisons -- "Megyn Kelly on rubber bullets: 'It’s a pencil eraser, essentially!'" -- and then there's the Twitter ragging that has pointed to delicious ways to incorporate pepper spray into our diets. Some have even suggested that Kelly eat her words. "If pepper spray is food, let's see Megyn Kelly eat some," Gizmodo's Mat Honan suggests on Twitter. Well, if it comes to that, Kelly, you won't be the first to eat pepper spray. A cop back in 1999 tried the stuff, and he said it's "delicious."
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At the rate the Kelly-gate has taken off, she might really have to eat pepper spray. She is, after-all, trending on Twitter, notes @cnfnd. "How long before she tastes some?," asked Confounded in NYC on Twitter. In case it happens, we'd like to offer her some solace: It might not be so bad. Some cops in 1998 testified in court that they had used the spray in cooking, trying to get prove that pepper spray isn't all that bad,. "Battle said Grannis asked him to show how harmless the pepper foam can be by taking it home and using it on pork chops he grilled for his family, then in eggs he scrambled for himself," a 1998 Charlotte Observer article explains. The officer then described the pork and eggs as "delicious." Ok, so the officer only ate the spray for ridiculous-point-proving purposes, kind of like Kelly's comment. But, apparently it tastes "delicious," so maybe Kelly wouldn't mind eating her words.
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And when the time for Kelly to eat a mouth full of spicy comes, we'd like to offer a few suggestions.
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The first idea we have for Kelly comes from The Onion's Baratunde Thurston. "Fuck roasting, baking or frying. The most AMERICAN way to prepare a thanksgiving turkey is to #Pepperspray that shit. #preseasoned," he tweeted. But really, take your regular turkey marinade -- butter, chicken broth, salt, onion, pepper spray. Throw it in the oven at 350. And as you baste that bird, rotate, baste, spray. Repeat every 30 minutes.
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Another idea comes from the Simpsons and our North Carolina cops. Spice up those bland eggs. Take two eggs, crack, scramble, pepper spray, as Homer did. He found them "incapacitating."
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Finally, if Kelly just wants to get it over with while simultaneously proving her macho-ness, she might like to take the Pepper Spray challenge. Like the Wasabi Challenge, with pepper spray. Though, we hear the stuff is 1,000 times hotter than a jalapeno. So that might send her to the hospital, maybe.
And, if Kelly's looking for where she might find said pepper spray, for her impending eat-off, Amazon's selling it. Of course, she might want to avoid the comments, where more mocking has taken place. "Once I realized that spraying whipped cream into my mouth was both bland and fattening, I had to try this out," writes reviewer Matt.
