Justin Bieber Maybe Shouldn't Drive Cars Anymore

The Atlantic
Justin Bieber Maybe Shouldn't Drive Cars Anymore
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Justin Bieber Maybe Shouldn't Drive Cars Anymore

Oh lord. Another day, another incident involving teen menace Justin Bieber and one of his expensive vroom-vrooms. It seems that Justin Bieber was involved in a traffic incident last night that had police questioning him about a possible a hit-and-run situation. Justin was leaving the Laugh Factory last night in his Ferrari and apparently hit a dude who was standing in the street. Bieber didn't stop to check on him, leading police to think it might have been a hit-and-run. But then they talked to Justin and assessed the situation and determined that it was the guy's fault, because he was standing in the street trying to take a photo. So it was a paparazzo who Justin nudged with his fine white automobile, meaning Justin is in the clear. And, yes, in this particular situation, it does not sound like it was Bieber's fault. But still. Do you think he'd run into these problems all the time if he drove a Ford Fiesta? Because it's either the fancy cars that create these bad situations or it's Bieber the driver. I'm inclined to think that he'd still be hot-doggin' in a Tercel same as he is in a Fisker, so he probably should not be allowed to drive anymore. I really mean that. Take his license away, rip it up and say "Nope" and that's that. He'll find his way around, he's got money. He could move to New York and take the subway like the rest of us jerks. But I don't think any single good thing has ever happened when Justin Bieber and automobiles have come together. Nothing. Oh, and? We probably shouldn't let Justin Bieber have friends either. Lil Twist is always getting pulled over for speeding, and now another of Justin's posse, the so-called King Kevi, is trying to get a restraining order against Bieber. In a supposed act of retaliation against Kevi for pretending to be Justin's friend or something (it's unclear), Justin tweeted out Kevi's phone number, leading to a Belieber onslaught the likes of which no one has seen since the last time Justin Bieber was photographed talking to a girl, any girl. So now Kevi wants a restraining order. Look. I don't know if Justin Bieber and King Kevi were ever actually friends, and I don't care. What I do care about is that Justin Bieber should not be allowed to have friends anymore. Sorry. Again, nope. No cars, no friends. Just homework and reading and some good old fashioned physical exercise. Move him back to Canada and maybe after a while he can have some friends and maybe ride a bicycle. But the kid needs a break. It's gotten to be too much. Sorry. But, it has. [TMZ; TMZ]

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Hm. Melissa Etheridge, a cancer survivor, made some comments about Angelina Jolie's preventative double mastectomy recently, saying it was "the most fearful choice you can make when confronting anything with cancer." She then went on to say, "My belief is that cancer comes from inside you, and so much of it has to do with the environment of your body. It's the stress that will turn that gene on or not." Which, all right, sure thing. We're now in the territory of Melissa Etheridge theorizing about the practice of medicine. We shouldn't take this too seriously, I don't think. But of course people are taking it seriously and Brad Pitt was asked about it at a red carpet event for World War Z yesterday, because that's exactly what needed to be brought up to him at that moment, or any moment. "How do you feel about what this old rocker said about your wife's double mastectomy?" Great question, reporter. Really searching and important. Well done. Just the right kind of red carpet question to ask a fellow human being. Pitt was gracious enough about it, saying that Etheridge is "an old friend" and that he's "sure we'll talk on the phone" about the matter. OK, good. Call each other when you're both home and John or Jane Q. Goodreporter isn't there to say "Huh? Huh? What are you saying? Huh? Tell me what you feel about this! Huh? Huh?" Because sheesh. Nothing but sheesh to someone asking a man about some random negative comment about his wife's double mastectomy on the red carpet of a zombie movie premiere. Honestly. [Us Weekly]

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This isn't really breaking news or anything, but I just thought you guys should know that Ireland Baldwin, son of Alec and Kim Basinger, is still dating a guy named Slater Trout. Just in case you forgot or never knew for some reason. Slater Trout's his name, and I'm told that paddle boarding's his game. Yes, he's a professional paddle boarder. Well, excuse me, "Profesional Stand up Paddle Surfer" according to his Twitter. And they seem very much in love! Ireland Baldwin and Slater Trout. Good for them. [The Daily Mail]

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Rapper Lil Wayne says that he didn't see the enormous American flag he was filmed treading on during a New Orleans music video shoot. "I didn't step on the flag on purpose!" he said on Twitter, explaining that the flag falls behind him during the video but that he wasn't supposed to walk on it. It was just an accident, that he was walking on this flag while filming the video for a song called "God Bless Amerika." (Get it? The "k" is not a "c." Crazy right?) Whatever you say, Weezy. We'll believe you. Though I'm sure the true patriots are still outraged, as they put on their American flag T-shirts and grab the keys to their American flag Harley. How dare someone treat the flag so cavalierly. [TMZ]

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Duchess Kate spent Father's Day, a holiday they also celebrate in England I guess, in her hometown with her father, party supply baron Michael Middleton. They had lunch at a local restaurant together and probably talked about the upcoming baby and whatnot. Meanwhile, Prince Harry spent Father's Day dodging phone calls and frantically asking palace guards "could I borrow your DNA for a bit?" Oh, Harry! [Us Weekly]

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