Justin and Jessica's Wild Vegas Weekend

The Atlantic Wire

Newlyweds Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, he the singer turned actor turned Bud Light salesman and she the Summer Catch actress, were spotted out and about in Las Vegas this past weekend. Though they weren't spending much time together. They were in town for a joint bachelor/bachelorette party kind of a thing, so JT went off with the boys while Jessica stayed with the hens. According to People, Justin and pals went to the restaurant Yellowtail at the Bellagio, where he was "munching on sashimi." Uhhh... And then Jessica Biel was at Fix, also at the Bellagio, where she "munched on the eatery's specialties, including tuna tartare." UHHH.... NO, People magazine, NO. You do not "munch" on sashimi. Actually you really should not "munch" on anything unless you are eating Munchos chips or are a character on Law & Order: SVU. Because it is a very annoying word and it is especially annoying when used in items about celebrities eating at restaurants, which happens all too frequently. It's supposed to sound playful and humanizing, I guess? Like, the celebrities are just munching, that's all, nothing too fancy. It's very irksome! Maybe I am a crazy person for feeling this way, but I just do not like it. No more "munch" in celebrity gossip reports, especially for food that one would never "munch" on. Munch implies crunch, does it not? One could munch on celery! Or they could munch maybe on little canapes if they were at a fancy cocktail party. But there is no munching to be had of tartare or sashimi, for heaven's sake. It just does not fit. Anyway, Justin went home early on Saturday night because he has a cold, but J.B. and her pals stayed out till after 3 a.m., hanging at the 1Oak outpost at the Mirage and drinking "vodka, Champagne and fireball cinnamon whiskey." Fireball cinnamon whiskey sounds like a complete nightmare, huh? Who's munching on that? I do not get it. [People]

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James Franco was on Howard Stern's radio show yesterday and, Howard being Howard, he brought up the topic of how "everyone" "hates" Anne Hathaway and the disastrous Oscars that she and Franco co-hosted. "If you're going to talk about it, you're going to have to give your opinions," Franco said judiciously. "She does not want me talking about this, but okay." Stern then went on to explain how Hathaway is too "actress-y" and that she always seems "so scripted." Which I think touches accurately enough on the cultural sentiment, no? Franco gingerly agreed, saying "I'm not an expert on -- I guess they're called 'Hatha-haters'-- but I think that's what maybe triggers it." He then stressed the point that he and Hathaway have made up post-Oscars debacle, even though, no, they do not really speak much these days. He also talked about turning down an offer of sex from Lindsay Lohan some years ago and, I dunno. It's always interesting when they do it, but why do these celebrities go on Howard Stern? It's always going to devolve into uncomfortable conversations like this one. It just seems strange that someone would volunteer themselves up for that kind of public discussion of awkward or delicate personal things. But then again, it's James Franco, and James Franco has been doing a very public senior art thesis for about four or five years now. When will he finish? Nobody knows, not even his advisers. Actually, especially not his advisers. [Us Weekly]

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Sarah Jessica Parker spent her 48th birthday yesterday going to see Tilda Swinton asleep in a box. Yep, she and husband Matthew Broderick and their son when up to MoMA to see Oscar-winning actress Tilda Swinton sleeping in a glass box. I dunno. It's a pretty interesting art project, but it's a strange way to spend your birthday don't you think? Like, in a few years from now you're with friends or family and trying to remember what you did each year for your birthday, like "OK, so 46 we were in L.A. and we went to the beach with Jane and all them. And then 47 we had dinner at Little Owl, and then 48... Wait, was was 48?? Huh.... OH YEAH! We went to go see Tilda Swinton asleep in a box in Midtown, that's right. Right. OK. Yeah. That was kind of a weird one, huh?" Just seems funny. But maybe that makes it easier to remember. You went to go see Tilda Swinton in a box. And then you went to dinner, having just seen Orlando actress Tilda Swinton sleeping in a glass box. [Daily Mail]

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Speaking of strange things, Gwyneth Paltrow is opening a hair drying place in Los Angeles. Yes. It's being called a "blowout bar," meaning all you get is blowouts. No cuts or anything, just hair-drying for styling effect. Paltrow is opening the place with her trainer/guru/leader Tracy Anderson and hairdresser David Babaii, for whom the place will be named. Because Gwyneth isn't going to be doing any of the blow drying. No, no. She'll maybe come in once in a while if she doesn't have someone come to her, but that's it. She's strictly a backer and a celebrity name. Of course we all wish that Gwyneth Paltrow was setting up at a chair, ready to give you a puffy Farrah Fawcett 'do or whatever, but alas we are not that lucky. But, hey, she may one day knock on your door and try to sell you some goop out of a tattered old suitcase. She is doing that these days, I hear. "Goop for sale! Goop for sale!" she calls, walking down the road with her leaking suitcase. It's quite a sight. [People]

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You know how Justin Theroux, Angelina Jolie's future boyfriend, is always wearing cool-dude jeans and cool-dude boots? Like always? Well, he's conscious of that fact. He says that someone once told him that men should always dress "winter from the waist down," meaning he wears his tight jeans and boots even in the summer. He "feels naked" without them. It's just a thing he does. He talked about it with Esquire, apparently, and is kinda making fun of himself, which is a good thing. But it still looks kinda silly, no matter what. Always so serious and cool looking. Like what if he tripped and fell down on the sidewalk while wearing one of his tight, dark boot 'n' jeans 'n' leather outfits? That'd be way more embarrassing than if he fell down in sweatpants. Everyone expects someone in sweatpants to fall down, so it's no big deal. (Unless you're a big jock tough guy, because then you're ruined. Big jock tough guys can never fall down under any circumstances. It's just too mortifying for them.) But in tight jeans and boots and leather and sunglasses? Yikes. That's a long way to fall, is what I'm saying. Falling down in that getup would be pretty hard to recover from. Something to think about, Justin. Really something to think about. [ Us Weekly ]

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Steven Cohen, the billionaire whose hedge fund SAC Capital recently paid the government $616 million to settle two insider trading lawsuits, has himself just paid $155 million to buy a Picasso painting that Steve Wynn once put his elbow through. Yes, the painting is called "La Reve," it is by Picasso, and its former owner, casino magnate Steve Wynn, once knocked his elbow through it on accident. (When you do something that doofy it is always "on accident," because that's what doofs say.) So isn't that nice to know? That the guy with the inside trading company just spent $155 million for a painting, gave the money to another slick billionaire, and now he has the artwork, to hang in his house for nobody but him and his fellow millionaire/billionaire friends to see? I think it's great. Apparently "This was supposed to be a top-secret sale because of the government investigation and settlement." Aha, well, oops. Another fun detail is that Wynn supposedly elbowed the painting while showing it off to people, including Nora Ephron, which is resoundingly hilarious. The whole thing is hilarious, isn't! Rich people! I mean, really really really rich people. [Page Six]

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