Kim Kardashian's Middle East Education
Today in celebrity gossip: Kim Kardashian wants to know more about the Gaza conflict, Justin Bieber has a sleepover with Selena Gomez, and Mila & Ashton enjoy Rome.
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Aw. It thinks it's people. The sentient pile of gristle and concealer known as Kim Kardashian has decided, after putting her foot in it on Twitter regarding this whole Gaza mess, to travel to the Middle East and, hopefully, learn about just what the hell is going on while over there. And what better place to learn about the decades-old conflict between Israel and the million and half people it's put in a ghetto than Kuwait and Bahrain? That's where you go to learn about Palestine. To Kuwait and Bahrain. Well, see, OK, she's technically not traveling to do some sort of Mid-East education tour. She's going to Kuwait and Bahrain to attend the opening of two Millions of Milkshakes stores. Hahaha. Yes. That is why Kim Kardashian, kiln-cooked mound of collagen, is traveling to this ancient and complex region. For the Millions of Milkshakes. But because of her Twitter oopsy, she now wants to make it about Israel and Palestine, even though she'll be hundreds of miles away. You have to respect her initiative, though. And it will probably be a powerful moment when someone tells her that there are no Millions of Milkshakes for the refugees in Gaza to enjoy. In fact, there are quite possibly no milkshakes at all. "What do they drink while watching my show?" she'll then ask with a timid, plaintive squeak. And then some even harder news will have to be broken to her. [TMZ]
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Oh oh ohhh. After the little-watched American Music Awards on Sunday, Justin Bieber didn't go home with his old lady aggressor, as that awful woman clearly hoped he would, but instead he slinked off in his drop-crotches to go drop some crotch with Selena Gomez. Hahaha ew. We all continue to be a little gross as toast for caring about the love life of an 18-year-old child, but even mentioning Bieber and Gomez dropping crotches is grounds for being sent to gross jail. That is deeply gross and I apologize. Anyway, Biebs did stay the night at Gomez's place after hitting an after party with her. He was seen leaving her house the next morning in his same outfit — drop-crotch pants, chain, weird shiny red pope loafers — and walking with visible bow-leggedness. Does this mean they're back together? Or are they just casually dropping crotches? It's hard, nay impossible, to say. The only way to know would be to steal their cellphones and read their text messages, which would be ridiculous because that one security guy of Justin's knows our face now and we don't want to end up back in prison after what happened with Chad Allen all those years ago. No sir. We're not repeating that mistake. Those kids can drop crotches in peace and quiet if they want to. No one's stealing anything. [Daily Mail]
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Speaking of sweet romance, Mila Kunis and her undeserving beau Ashton Kutcher have been having romantic times in Rome while Kunis is there filming the Paul Haggis movie When In Rome 2: The Olsens Save Christmas The Third Person. The two have been seen strolling the cobbly streets of the citta vecchia making goo eyes at each other, and have had some good meals together. Specifically they went to Antica Pesa, where they had some real Italian food, like "eggplant parmigiana" and "mini beef sliders." Hahah. Right, those old Italian staples. OK, I'll give them eggplant parm I guess, but mini beef sliders are what you get at some place called Beale Street Blues at the Memphis airport. Not in Rome. Proving once and for definitive all that Ashton Kutcher is a straight-up dope who doesn't know what he's doing ever. That settles it. You get "mini beef sliders" in Rome? You a dope. [People]
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Speaking of food, avid marijuana smoker Rihanna is said to have lots of stoner food on her 777 tour rider, demanding that it be supplied for her at whatever venue she plays in. TMZ is all about this being stoner food, but here is the food that she asked for: "One package of Oreos, One large bag of Haribo brand Gold Bears; One box of Capri Suns; 10 bags of cheddar cheese Ruffles; Red Bulls, Grey Goose, Coke, Sprite, Ginger Ale, Diet Coke; 10 bags of Flaming Hot Cheetos; Stuffed olives; One box of Golden Grahams cereal; Mini Babybel cheeses." Hm. You know what that sounds like to me? The food a 24-year-old eats. That's not necessarily stoner food, that's just good snack food. I mean, I sincerely hope she's not drinking vodka cocktails while also eating cheddar cheese Ruffles, because humans should have some ounce of dignity at least, but other than that I see no problem here. And if it is stoner food? So what. She does a good job. She hasn't crashed her plane. So lay off of her. She's starving. [TMZ]
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Prince William, bloodthirsty someday ruler of the fearsome British Empire, has posted some new photos on his family's website. Yeah, that's all. He just uploaded some pics of himself at work as a helicopter military guy or whatever he does, and it's mostly just photos of him sitting around in a room. He's in his green flying jumper (American jumper, not British "jumper," meaning sweater) and hanging with his friends. So that's what William is up to. We can look forward to more royal family updates like this, as the whole family is overhauling its website, perhaps in an effort to show British citizens just how hard their tax dollars have been put to work. But look, until they post photos of Prince Harry, the Duke of Doin' It, in flagrante delicto, then none of it will be worth it. Do that, royal family, and you'll have support for another thousand years. [People]
Apparently Glee's Amber Riley threw some sort of sh-t fit when the New York club WiP wouldn't let her and her 30 friends drink for free. It seems some free bottles had been requested but there were no overtures made toward the purchasing of actual drinks, so the club denied them entrance. Riley lashed out on Twitter, because why not, and the club issued a statement saying, "Ms. Riley’s team had contacted management before her arrival to work out her table arrangements which included the purchase of bottles as well as a bottle on the house. Upon arrival, her party of 30 people refused to purchase any bottles, so they did not enter." Seems fair. Riley wasn't pleased, though, and now all of Twitter knows it. Ah well. Who really cares. Let's be honest, one of the most sinful pleasures of the next few years will be watching those smug, self-satisfied Glee kids lash out at the dying of their own light, so I guess it begins now, here, with Amber Riley. It ought to be increasingly entertaining — Chris Colfer in a drunken melee at The Abbey, Corey Monteith arrested for fondling himself at a Hollister — until it finally gets to Lea Michele, at which point she will explode and, like the Predator monster, take all of us with her. Can't wait. [TMZ]
Hey look, it's Jared Leto in drag. And he looks kind of good? He's filming that movie The Dallas Buyers Club, the one that Matthew McConaughey is getting all skinny for, so I guess if McConaughey is going to get skinny, Jared Leto is going to dress up like Anna Paquin the night she won her Oscar. Seems fair to me. You go on with your bad self, Jared Leto. Anything that keeps you away from 30 Seconds to Mars is a good thing. [Daily Mail]
