Should You Embrace 'Delulu' Thinking? Here's What Mental Health Experts Say

Is delulu the solulu?

Reviewed by Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

TikTok is home to many things: positive affirmations, quiet quitting tips, and hot girl walks. Now, add delusional thinking to the list. Chances are you’ve heard the phrase “delulu” on the app. Some social media users are adopting a “delulu is the new solulu” mindset, claiming that being delusional can help you achieve your goals. While we may be hesitant to adopt mental health advice from TikTok—or any social media app in general—there is some truth to being delusional.

The simplest explanation is that “delulu” is a shortened term for delusional, says licensed social worker and host of The Verywell Mind podcast, Minaa B., LMSW. Before it found its way to TikTok, the term “delulu” was mostly used in fandom communities, specifically in K-Pop, and referred to a fan who believed they’d have a romantic or platonic relationship with their idol. (i.e., a belief that’s both unrealistic and false, thus delusional).

Nowadays, the term is used more colloquially and refers to any person, including oneself, holding an unrealistic idea not based on logic or facts. A mindset that, according to TikTok, can "solve all your problems." Should you be using “delusional thinking” as a coping mechanism? We tagged some mental health experts and got their thoughts on whether being delusional is the mental health strategy social media says it is. Keep reading to know if you should start your delusional era.

Understanding the Concept of Delusion

“Delulu” is a slang term, but delusional disorder is an actual mental health disorder, says Dr. Rachel Hoffman, a licensed clinical social worker and the chief clinical officer at Zeera, a digital therapy app. “In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is what therapists use to diagnose patients, a delusion is defined as a false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everybody else believes and despite what constitutes incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary.”

To have a clinical delusional disorder, one must have one or more non-bizarre—or an unreal situation that’s not entirely impossible—thoughts for more than a month, and these delusional thoughts are not caused by any psychopathology, according to the 2015 book, "Schizophrenia Spectrum and Other Psychotic Disorder Treatments for Delusional Disorder."

A “delulu” moment, on the other hand, refers to “odd behavior but doesn't necessarily indicate a mental illness,” explains Minaa B. “An example may be if a celebrity follows an influencer's Instagram account, and the influencer begins spreading rumors the celebrity has a crush on them,” she says. “There is no evidence to support this, therefore, the exaggerated thought can be seen as a form of delusional thinking.”

Exploring the Use of “Delulu” in Popular Culture

Remember: “delulu” isn’t native to TikTok. The word first appeared in K-pop fandom culture in 2014 and referred to a fan or fans who believed they’d enter a relationship with their idol. But Gen Z-ers and millennials have co-opted the term and use it as a form of manifestation.

Take Nicole Doyon, the host of Girl Therapy and a proud subscriber to the “delulu” mindset, for example. In her TikTok, she says, “Being delusional is another form of manifestation,” and that the more you manifest (i.e., be delusional), the more likely your beliefs become reality. She likens the idea of being delusional to affirmations, explaining that when you start practicing positive thinking, your mental health and sense of self improve. The same concept applies to “delulu” thinking.

Is Being Delulu Bad?

Being “delulu” is not inherently bad, but Dr. Hoffman does warn that tying your mental health or self-esteem to delusional thinking can be harmful. She says it’s like emotional masturbation, when you’re on a first date with someone, and “you are already imagining your wedding to said person.” There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of fantasization, but “if your self-esteem is significantly impacted when the relationship ends, it might be a sign that emotional masturbation has repercussions for you.”

It’s important to remember that manifestation can happen but doesn’t always. As Dr. Hoffman said, if your mental health suffers because a delusion or manifestation didn’t pan out, it might not be healthy for you to practice “delulu” thinking.

Minaa B., LMSW also says that relying on a “delulu” mindset can be harmful “because it might cause an individual to resist taking action to either change their circumstances or learn to manage their emotions by being rooted in the reality of what they’re feeling.”

Takeaway

Positive thinking is great, but you can’t always positively think your way out of real-life stressors such as housing instability or food insecurity. Being delusional only gets you so far when action is needed.

Related: How to Manifest Your Goals With the 369 Method

Is It Ever OK to Be Delulu?

When done right, being delulu is not only safe but also healthy! In fact, Dr. Hoffman recommends practicing delulu thinking. “As a clinician, my point of view is that most things are healthy in moderation as long as they don’t impact functioning,” she says. “As humans, we sometimes daydream or dream big, and that can be both inspiring and motivating.”

Keeping our perspectives balanced is essential. If manifesting a job offer motivates you to make appropriate changes, like practicing interviewing or polishing your resume, then that’s totally OK. But no amount of manifestation or delusion can give you a job offer without any effort. Action plus delusional thinking is a recipe for achieving success in life.

Related: How to Be Successful in Reaching Your Goals

Strategies for Addressing Delusional Thinking

Wondering how to safely practice delusional thinking? Like most things, it’s easier said than done. For starters:

• Try regular self-reflection: The core step to maintaining healthy delusions is self-reflecting, says Dr. Hoffman. Checking in with yourself and going over the facts—What do I know to be true? What facts do I have to back that up? Is this based on reality?—is key. Because while delusional thinking promotes optimism and confidence, Dr. Hoffman says, it can also cause unnecessary mental health stress, especially if you rely only on your delusions.

• Embrace all your emotions—even the bad ones too: A 2018 study found that individuals who “accept their mental experiences attained better psychological health because acceptance helped them experience less negative emotion in response to stressors.” In layman’s terms, embracing disappointment, sadness, or any other negative emotion keeps you grounded and level-headed. A healthy attitude to have when practicing delusional thinking is "If it happens, cool; if it doesn’t, that’s fine too!" Having this line of thinking helps avoid the trap of hyper-unrealistic thinking.

• Practice gratitude: Gratitude helps you appreciate the things you have instead of coveting for things you want. Start writing down everything you’re grateful for, whether that’s because of a manifestation or not. It can be small wins, too, like I’m grateful to wake up alive, or I’m grateful I have food in my fridge. Of course, it sucks when a manifestation doesn’t work, but a gratitude journal is a reminder of everything valuable or meaningful to you—that a failed manifestation is not the worst thing of all.

Related: How to Practice Gratitude Meditation for Daily Well-Being

Keep in Mind

“It's normal for people, including Gen Z, to use fantasies or daydreaming as a temporary escape from stressors,” says Minaa B. Sometimes life is hard, and being delusional can make things easier, but it can’t be the end-all, be-all. Maintaining a balanced perspective is necessary to adopt a “delulu is the new solulu” way of thinking.

Think of it like this: If you want a partner in the next couple of months, a “delulu” thought is that you soon will be in a committed relationship. While there’s nothing wrong with this perspective, if you’re not actively dating—going on dates, making conversations on dating apps, or putting yourself out there and meeting new people—then this may not be realistic.

A healthy approach to “delulu” thinking is believing something will happen while also taking necessary actions to make the belief a reality. Without a balanced perspective, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and additional stress. With that said, if you’re willing to do the work required to be delusional, then “delulu” thinking could be a strategy that might work for you.

Related: How to Manifest What You Really Want in Your Life

Read the original article on Verywell Mind.