Marriage Starts On Wrong Foot After Man Steps Out Of Line

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I recently married a loving man who works full-time and is studying for his MBA online. A few months ago, he received a promotion and was transferred to another state, so after our wedding I moved here to be with him.

While he was living here alone before our wedding, he got into some trouble with the law and he's now on probation. He was never in trouble before. I have no family or friends here, and he can't go out and socialize to meet new people now that he's under those strict guidelines.

I have always been popular and have many friends back home, but I'm lonely and depressed now. I moved here because I love him, but I can't get over the fact that this has dampened our first year as husband and wife. How should I handle the future of our marriage and our life here with all these unsettling issues he has put me in? -- HURT WIFE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HURT WIFE: Unless your husband is under house arrest -- which probation is not -- he can socialize. He can make friends through work, and look for volunteer opportunities if he has the time. Both will help him to make connections with constructive people. The same is true for you to help you connect with the community.

I know this is a big adjustment for you, but in time you can both put this unfortunate chapter behind you. I wish you both a future filled with success.


DEAR ABBY: Help! My husband won't wear clothes. When our children were young, he walked around naked because he wanted to make sure they didn't have the same hang-ups about nudity that he grew up with. (His father was ultra-conservative and uptight.)

My husband began wearing clothes again when the kids got older, but now they have all moved out and he has quit. He sits naked in his recliner to watch TV. The recliner is right next to the front door, and there's only the storm door between him and the world. Abby, he literally strips all his clothes off to do the dishes!

We live in a neighborhood. It's not like we're out in the country. If I say anything to him, he says I can go into a different room if I don't like it. Is this normal? -- NUDIE'S WIFE IN FLORIDA

DEAR NUDIE'S WIFE: It appears to be normal for your husband. Some -- not all -- families are very relaxed about nudity. As long as your living room isn't visible to the neighbors and you don't have drop-in visitors, your husband is harming no one. If you don't want to look at him, take him up on his suggestion.

P.S. I hope you thank him for doing the dishes. Not all husbands are so helpful.


DEAR ABBY: My daughter was a bridesmaid recently. The bride chose a designer dress that my daughter had to put a nonrefundable deposit on. A month later, the bride changed her mind about the color and canceled the order, so all six bridesmaids had to purchase another dress.

Am I wrong in thinking the bride should reimburse her bridesmaids for the first dress that she insisted they buy ASAP -- the one she canceled without talking to any of them? -- BRIDESMAID'S MOM IN ELKHORN, WIS.

DEAR BRIDESMAID'S MOM: Not in my book you aren't. And shame on the bride for not volunteering to do so.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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