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    Mexico's 'temporary' marriages: till death – or two years – do us part

    Mexico City is studying a plan to introduce 'temporary' marriage licenses – letting couples choose after two years to split or renew the license for life – in an effort to mitigate the effects of divorce.

    Like so many brides before her, Luz Maria Ortiz, standing in front of a judge at a Mexico City civil registry with her fiancé, Jorge Valero, says she is both thrilled and nervous. "Life will change forever," she says after the ceremony.

    But her wedding jitters could be a thing of the past – if legislators get their way in Mexico City.

    The left-leaning assembly is studying a new initiative to introduce temporary marriage licenses that would expire after two years if the couple so desires.

    The proposal, intended to reduce the bureaucratic costs and emotional toll of divorce, has garnered as many fans as foes: Some see it as a pragmatic alternative, while others, including the Roman Catholic Church, see it as an attack on family values. It comes as Mexico grapples with its own culture war in the world's second-largest Catholic country.

    “The centrality of family in Mexico is changing,” says Norma Ojeda, a sociologist at the San Diego State University who has studied the evolution of marriage in Mexico since the 1970s. “That is something that is part of a global social change in many countries.”

    To its authors, the proposal reflects social changes in Mexico City, where they say most divorces occur in the first two years. If after two years, couples decide to until “death do us part,” they can renew their licenses. If not, the proposal specifies how children and property are handled.

    "The proposal is, when the two-year period is up, if the relationship is not stable or harmonious, the contract simply ends," Leonel Luna, the assemblyman who co-wrote the bill, told Reuters. "You wouldn't have to go through the tortuous process of divorce."

    It’s a sobering sentiment upon any bride’s wedding day, but many in the Valero family, who surround the bride and groom on a bright sunny morning in Mexico City, embrace the idea.

    Luis Arturo Valero, the groom's brother and twice divorced, says he hopes his children could be "temporarily married" as a way to avoid his fate. "I think it's an excellent idea to go through a trial period to really get to know one other," he says. He says there are still taboos about living together before formalizing a union in Mexico – the reason that such a plan is needed.

    Divorce has been on the rise, especially in urban Mexico, causing all sorts of complicated, and often painful, conflicts for families. “We are in favor of any pre-marital agreement,” says Alejandro Heredia Ávila, the head of the Association of Mexican Parents of Separated Families, which fights for parents denied rights to see their children.

    But the Catholic Church has denounced the new proposal as an attack on marriage.

    This is not the first time the church has butted heads with the capital, which critics say is liberalizing its conception of family much faster than the rest of the country. Mexico City became the first city in Latin America to legalize gay marriage in 2009. Under the leadership of Mayor Marcelo Ebrard, himself married three times, the city also legalized abortion.

    Claudia de la Peña, cousin of the bride, has mixed feelings about it. She herself has opted for a legal union instead of marriage, but she says she worries that it could undermine customs. “It’s almost like playing a game. I think you should think well before you get married and make a commitment,” she says. “If you want to leave, you will leave, whether you are married or not.”

    And many see the initiative as unnecessary, especially because "express divorces" have been implemented in Mexico already, in 2008, expediting the procedure. Nationwide some 70 percent of dissolutions end up in separations, not divorce, anyway, says Ms. Ojeda. And the number of "consensual unions," a kind of unofficial marriage dating back to colonial Spain, is also significant and increasing.

    "I don’t think a two-year contract will increase the marital stability of the Mexican family,” she says.

    So-called temporary marriages have a long history though. References to “handfasting,” or a temporary betrothal period , appear as far back as the Middle Ages, and the Incas of South America practiced “trial marriages.” These arrangements were not always good for women, easily abandoned as single mothers.

    But bride Ortiz sees a flip side for her gender, especially those in abusive households. “When they are getting hit, it is very hard for them to leave, the man never wants to,” she explains. The two-year license proposal in her city could make women’s lives easier in such scenarios.

    But, she doesn’t regret that the proposal is not yet law for her wedding day. She and her husband, together for three years, chose not to live together first, and they both see their vows as the beginning of an entire lifetime, not a test run. “I feel that if you get married,” she says, “it should be forever.”

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    • a child of the king Jesu ...  •  Clarksburg, United States  •  6 mths ago
      if you dont love each other after 2 years of marrying you didnt love each other in the first place and should have never got married ,
      • A Yahoo User 6 mths ago
        Marriage is a commitment. If you cannot make a commitment to someone from the outset then you should not get married. If you have to, take longer to get to know that person first rather than jumping into marriage with only a two year commitment. The children that may result from that relationship are going to need more than a two year commitment.
      • Jhoy E Meade 6 mths ago
        Have you ever heard of someone saying that they love someone to death, but they would never marry them? And that this rule for life came after they lived with each other for what ever reason that might have been? Well some people need to get marred to know how well they work together. And in a place were you can't live with each other first, it's the only way to find out.

        As for the kids and not really living the person in the first place, that happens already. Now I don't know how bad they are in in Mexico City about this, but in the US, more than half of the people who swear up and down that they love each other are divorced in less then 2 years for a wide number of things.

        I would like to know what happens at the end of the two years with this license. Will they get a reminder that it's about to expire and ask them to apply for a new permanent one, or that if they don't, then city hall will make them up has having their marriage dissolved and a few other thing, like name name and stuff that they came up with 2 years ago for the any kinds they might have gotten in that time?
    • Robin  •  Chicago, United States  •  6 mths ago
      guess if I lived in Mexico I might give a crap about this......
    • Ivan  •  Los Angeles, United States  •  6 mths ago
      Kim Kardashian would have benefited from this program!
    • Savannah  •  6 mths ago
      Probably not a bad idea.
    • GEORGE PORDGE  •  6 mths ago
      This is definitely another attack on the traditional marraige. Marraige is forever unless there is adultery and abuse.
      • Iguana P 6 mths ago
        In a traditional marriage the wife is the man's property. Still like?
      • A Yahoo User 6 mths ago
        What crap!
      • John 6 mths ago
        Please read our country's divorce rate and then explain your comment.
    • Philip  •  6 mths ago
      why dont they just live together for 2yrs and decide? why do they need a license?
      • Jhoy E Meade 6 mths ago
        You missed the part where it's not really allowed. You can live together after you get married but not before. So this is like the socially acceptable way of living with someone to see if the two of you are compatible.
    • Michael  •  Houston, United States  •  6 mths ago
      Association of Mexican Parents of Separated Families, which fights for parents denied rights to see their children. With so much drama in mexican marriages, there has to be such an association. The romance and flamboyance that we watch in mexican soaps is a mirage
    • Peggy  •  6 mths ago
      I have to laugh at this situation in Mexico. When my father proposed to my mom he told her, the women in my life all lasted 5 years so that is what you expect of me. They were married for 35 years before he passed. Mexican men are very possessive and so I wonder about two year marriages especially if children come within that time. They don't like to support children by saying that they don't look like him therefore they will not support them. Yikes! Maybe they should not marry at all. As far as the Catholic Church is concerned, they insist to protect the woman. Also, the mother and father of these men teach their sons not to take any crap from their wives and to beat them so they will understand. Not me. I would rather stay single.
      • Antonio 6 mths ago
        I AM MEXICAN....ARE YOU CALLING ME POSSESSIVE BECAUSE MY NATIONALITY ???? ..i wouldnt marry anyone like you !
      • Peggy 6 mths ago
        Antonio, we are not Mexican but we are Hispanic and I should have specified that Hispanic men are macho men. I have been to your country three times and three times I said to myself...when I retire, I will move to Encinada. It is so beautiful, I cry thinking that it will never happen because of your drug dealers. Maybe one day, if I am still alive and well, I will move to Mexico. I love the talented people that you have and the lively souls within you all. Please accept my apologies for not being more indirect. Viva Mexico!
    • the saint of hecklers  •  6 mths ago
      being 100% serious, this is the most novel idea i have heard of in a long time, we should have that here in the states. think about it, we have to renew our driver's license's and we gain the expericence of physically driving by the time it comes up for renewal. why not require people to renew there marriage licenses to show that they still want to be married. cause despite what dumb #$%$ conservitive republicans think, there is no such thing saintity in marriage, NOT ANYMORE!!!!!here is a even better idea,on top of this, couples should be allowed to have children unless they have married at LEAST 10 years
    • david  •  6 mths ago
      the only way is poiliticians get out of none of their business, but DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH. SO DON'T DEAL WITH POLITICIANS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE WANTS SOMETHING DIFFERENT
    • The Real Deep Throat  •  6 mths ago
      Another way is to become a moslem. They cut heads off.
      • snyderst80 6 mths ago
        christians use lethal injection; that shows how much more civilized christians are.
      • tony 6 mths ago
        What's a "moslem," I ask you MoslemKlr because you seem extremely well educated.
    • Maria  •  Chicago, United States  •  6 mths ago
      I would rather not get married.
    • Lawal  •  6 mths ago
      Lmao @Ivan
    • IMO  •  Troy, United States  •  6 mths ago
      This is why you get to know the person you're marrying FIRST! Nobody even tries to encourage keeping marriages together anymore--unhappy? Don't try to work it out, just move on!
    • the saint of hecklers  •  6 mths ago
      marriage=anal lube in paper form
    • Fat Fanny  •  6 mths ago
      The only thing this does is to allow folks to try each other on like a pair of new shoes, if you don't like it, discard it, buy a new pair and move on.....very different from the point of marriage, if you wanna do this, why get married?
    • Rodrigo Mejia  •  Phoenix, United States  •  6 mths ago
      "The proposal, intended to reduce the bureaucratic costs and emotional toll of divorce"--reduce emotional toll?? #$%$. divorce or separation of a couple, whether they are legally married or not... has the same emotional impact."The proposal is, when the two-year period is up, if the relationship is not stable or harmonious, the contract simply ends" -- "You wouldn't have to go through the tortuous process of divorce" If your marriage "contract" "ends" then it is called DIVORCE.As far a abusive relationships, it doesnt matter if the couple is legally married or not. It is not harder or easier to get out of the relationship.As I'm reading this article article, two things pop in my mind--Govt will generate more money issuing "renewal" licenses and LACK OF COMMITMENT.so.....why go thru all the hassle of being legally married if it might end in two years??
    • Antonio  •  Los Angeles, United States  •  6 mths ago
      I was married in Mexico in 1981, filled for divorce two years later (fees are high). I reconciliated w my wife before divorce was complete and filled for divorce again after a year (high fees again)... and then when the day of final meeting w the judge came, she was in the hospital and the divorce was not completed...If we had tried for third time, it would have been a fortune in fees, so we just walked away. I prise the new law, it is practical.
    • John  •  San Antonio, United States  •  6 mths ago
      The attorneys and Congress in the USA would never allow such a law. Divorce is big business. It is interesting that this is even a possibility in Mexico.
    • Nuu Yawk  •  6 mths ago
      This is a good idea. If i marry a slim woman who gain A LOT of weight within a span of 2 yrs i should be able to divorce her.
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