Mick Jagger Can't Say That About Sandy

Last night was the big Hurricane Sandy relief benefit concert at Madison Square Garden, and while it was mostly a positive affair — Paul McCartney dusting himself off once more and diving back into his old catalogue (and some new thing with Nirvana), Kanye West wearing his traditional leather kilt — there was one moment that drew the crowd's ire. When Mick Jagger was wheeled out on stage on a dolly, he made a crack that "this has got to be the largest collection of old English musicians ever assembled in Madison Square Garden." Which, that's fine. I mean, he's clearly forgetting that Spice Girls concert in '08, but whatever. Nothing terribly offensive. But then he had to go and add this: "But I've got to say, if it rains in London, you've got to come and help us, OK?" Which people, specifically people on terrible vile Twitter, took to be dismissive of the effects of the storm. See, it wasn't just a spot of rain, it was a big mean storm that did awful things, so Jagger should have been more sensitive to that at the thing's freaking benefit concert. They might have a point, but they're also being a little quick to outrage, these Twitter people. I mean, we're talking about Mick Jagger here. The man is 162 years old, he spends 19 hours a day in cryostasis, and he hasn't had a bowel movement since the first Bush administration. So let's cut him a little slack. He was at the concert, wasn't he? And where were the Spice Girls? Nowhere to be seen. [CBS]

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Another New York disaster: Sandra Lee, Food Network lifestyle maven and girlfriend of New York governor Nelson Rockefeller Andrew Cuomo, was dining at the restaurant at Bergdorf Goodman the other day when she overheard someone insulting her. And not just any someone, no sir. You know who it was? It was a guy named John Luciano, who is the current boyfriend of Calvin Klein's ex, Nick Gruber, the one who Calvin paid to have all fixed up and got out of the pornography industry. Yeah, so Gruber was there, because of course he was — any time there's an uptown scandal these days that lamprey is involved somehow — eating with Luciano, and Sandra Lee walked in. Gruber the goober didn't know who she was, so he asked, and Luciano answered, "She takes an angel food cake, slices it in half, opens a can of frosting, frosts the cake, calls it semi-homemade, and makes a lot of money." Which, OK, so that is pretty accurate, even if he's forgetting the costumes, tablescapes, and milk-based cocktails. But it's also not very nice, especially when she might hear. Which she did. She immediately got up to said something to whoever said it, but couldn't pinpoint exactly who it was, so she ended up walking to a table of Italian tourists and saying, "I’m Sandra Lee, I have feelings, too," and then stormed out with her friend. This is all, mind you, according to Luciano, who provided Page Six with these quotes and everything. So if this is true, we of course feel very bad for Sandra Lee, who is a bit nutty, sure, but she had a hard life growing up and now just tries to do nice things. And what are John Luciano and his grubby old boyfriend Nick Gruber doing? Not a whole hell of a lot. Mind your manners, boys. Especially at Bergdorf's. [Page Six]

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Speaking of people who plan dinner parties and stuff and get made fun of for it, Pippa Middleton, comely sister of the future English Queen, has written a humorous editorial poking fun at herself for the criticism she got about her party planning book Celebrate. See, the thing was kind of a flop — OK, a big flop — and people made lots of fun of it, so Pippa has responded in kind. In The Daily Middleton, the paper she and her sister print out in their dad's study, Pippa wrote, "maybe I should write a sequel and call it Bottoms Up? Now that could be a bestseller." Yeah, I don't know, it's all kind of gentle British humor like that, so it's not terribly funny, but at least she's being a good sport about the whole thing. And how could you not be? Sure it's a little embarrassing that the heiress to a party supply fortune couldn't sell a party planning book, but at the end of the day she's still the heiress to a party supply fortune. There's no taking that away, is there. Maybe she'll write another book, maybe she'll just do some hanging out somewhere fabulous, or maybe she'll just go home and continue her dutiful reporting for The Daily Middleton, filing important stories about who left the basement light on by accident and area dads who are being total grouches for no reason. She can do whatever she wants, is what I'm saying. [Us Weekly]

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Yesterday we heard that Track Palin, brother of Bristol, son of Sarah, likely third half cousin of Levi, is getting a divorce. Yes, the 23-year-old Army vet is splitting up with his wife Britta after less than two years, and now we've learned the details of the split. Track will keep his $30,000 bank account, his $500 in tools, and his $1,000 in guns. Britta meanwhile gets her $2,500 bank account, some $4,000 in jewelry, and her PUR water filter. (A joke.) Oh, and, right, she also gets their 1-year-old child. Yeah, she's getting physical custody of little Kyla, while Track has agreed to pay child support in the amount of $642. Yup, it all seems relatively amicable, no acrimony or fighting or terrible plots ending bloodily in a snowy wood. So, that's good, at least. Meanwhile Track's mom Sarah has decided that she'll change out of her sweats tomorrow and has asked Bristol to "run down the grocery" and get her some more Snackwells. She's been like this for weeks, apparently. It's sad. But oh well. [TMZ]

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Daniel Radcliffe, the young actor who famously played Katniss Everdeen in the big Hunger Games movies, has been on the wagon, meaning sober, for a couple of years now. Well, until very recently, it seems. The actor was seen at Beauty Bar on 14th Street the other day (we were so close, Daniel. You have no idea), doing Jagerbombs and mixing it up with a DJ before management gently suggested that he leave. Daniel, no! Don't do it. Maybe this was a mistake? Maybe it wasn't him? There's not even any particular night assigned to this little story, so maybe it's all a fiction. It's possible someone saw a particularly jovial NYU freshman and mistook her for Daniel Radcliffe, isn't it? Let's just assume it was that, because the alternative is that we're going to start hearing bad stories about Daniel Radcliffe's drinking, which was apparently a well-hidden secret for a while in the old pre-August 2010 days, and we don't really want to hear about that. If we found out that Rupert Grint was flying a hot air balloon over the streets of London, sloshing gin and yelling anti-gypsy epithets at people, we wouldn't be surprised. But this is Daniel Radcliffe we're talking about. He's the hero. [Page Six]

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Things Barbara Walters says in her "Most Fascinating People" interview with British sex quintet One Direction: "Twitter followers," "YouTube hits," "Tween" (three times), and "I may kill myself." Yes. Barbara Walters says all those things in this video, even the last one. The best is her saying "tween." It goes "tWeeeeeen" in this funny way, like a violin string being pulled. It's a funny word and Barbara Walters says words funny, so you put those two things together and you've got comedy gold, my friends. The lads don't say anything terribly interesting in the video, except at one point Louis Tomlinson says of Niall, "He's cute," and then later he says that he does Zayn's hair for him, so huhuhuhuh about that one, my 'shipping pretties. But, yeah, mostly it's tWeeeen and then Barbara Walters saying she's going to kill herself. Enjoy.

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