MLB Power Rankings: Things getting tense in Texas

We’re excited about the unveiling of next season’s schedule. As always, there are quirks:

The rankings (records through Wednesday’s games):

St. Louis
St. Louis

1. St. Louis Cardinals (91-54; Previous: 1) – Cards scheduled to open the season April 4 in Pittsburgh with a four-game lead.


Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh

2. Pittsburgh Pirates (87-58; Previous: 3) – Pirates also close season with series against Cards. Refer to rest of season as “the middle 156.”


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

3. Los Angeles Dodgers (84-61; Previous: 6) – Dodgers pleased to get schedule early so they can get a jump on reserving Angels’ limos to Dodger Stadium.


Toronto
Toronto

4. Toronto Blue Jays (83-62; Previous: 4) – Jays dismayed to learn that once again half of their games will be played in an entirely different country.


Chicago
Chicago

5. Chicago Cubs (84-61; Previous: 5) – Joe Maddon concerned about game times and their influence on players’ internal body clocks. Not to be confused with external body clocks, which they hang around their necks.

[Yahoo Fantasy Football: Still not too late to sign up for a league]


Kansas City
Kansas City

6. Kansas City Royals (85-60; Previous: 2) – Royals open against Mets in what already is being touted as a World Series rematch. By Rex Hudler.


New York
New York

7. New York Mets (83-63; Previous: 7) – Mets to celebrate 30th anniversary of ’86 championship with an “Everybody Point and Laugh at Bill Buckner” Night.


New York
New York

8. New York Yankees (80-65; Previous: 9) – Yankees bosses debating whether to retire A-Rod’s number in 2016 or 2017.


Texas
Texas

9. Texas Rangers (78-67; Previous: 10) – Rangers play Mariners on April 4, which is Square Root Day. Make note to tell outfielders it’s not Square Route Day.


Houston
Houston

10. Houston Astros (77-69; Previous: 8) – Astros to face NL Central teams for first time since leaving for American League. Hoping to lose a few pounds by then.


San Francisco
San Francisco

11. San Francisco Giants (77-69; Previous: 12) – Giants unmoved by the details, enough to know it’s an even year.


Minnesota
Minnesota

12. Minnesota Twins (75-70; Previous: 11) – Season marks 25th anniversary of club’s last championship team, when Torii Hunter was only in his third season.


Cleveland
Cleveland

13. Cleveland Indians (72-72; Previous: 16) – Indians peruse schedule, think to selves, “Maybe Sports Illustrated meant this one.”


Washington
Washington

14. Washington Nationals (75-70; Previous: 13) – Thinking maybe they got a little ahead of themselves with the midseason Matt Williams bobblehead night.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

15. Los Angeles Angels (73-72; Previous: 15) – Mike Scioscia thinks league getting way ahead of itself, refuses to recognize there is a game beyond today.


Baltimore
Baltimore

16. Baltimore Orioles (71-74; Previous: 19) – Late August home-and-home series against Nationals just might give Orioles chance to try out those new beach cruisers they got for their birthday.


Tampa Bay
Tampa Bay

17. Tampa Bay Rays (70-75; Previous: 14) – Game times are still to be determined. They’ll let you know when they hear from their season ticket-holder.


Boston
Boston

18. Boston Red Sox (69-76; Previous: 20) – Already excited to see turncoat David Price pitch Patriots Day game against Blue Jays.


Chicago
Chicago

19. Chicago White Sox (69-75; Previous: 21) – If you look to see when the White Sox play the Cubs, that’s called a Crosstown Cup check.


Seattle
Seattle

20. Seattle Mariners (71-76; Previous: 22) – Robinson Cano returns to Yankee Stadium on April 15, still an emotionally taxing trip.


Arizona
Arizona

21. Arizona Diamondbacks (69-77; Previous: 18) – D’backs think it’s unfair that league once again holds season during hottest time of year.


San Diego
San Diego

22. San Diego Padres (69-78; Previous: 17) – Padres scheduled to host All-Star Game on July 12. Scheduled to rename Selig Hall of Fame Plaza on July 13.


Detroit
Detroit

23. Detroit Tigers (67-78; Previous: 23) – Dave Dombrowski’s Red Sox go to Detroit in mid-August, at which point Dombrowski will be released from his cab to enter Comerica Park.


Oakland
Oakland

24. Oakland Athletics (62-84; Previous: 24) – League messes up, has A’s playing home games in Carson. A’s go along.


Milwaukee
Milwaukee

25. Milwaukee Brewers (62-83; Previous: 25) – Brewers a little surprised to learn the season starts two months earlier for them than it did in 2015.


Cincinnati
Cincinnati

26. Cincinnati Reds (61-84; Previous: 26) – Reds check Farmer’s Almanac, learn they’ll be 12 games out by July 7.


Miami
Miami

27. Miami Marlins (63-83; Previous: 29) – 2016 will be different. Seriously. They’re so close. Really. Have you seen their core? What? There’ll be bobbleheads!


Colorado
Colorado

28. Colorado Rockies (61-85; Previous: 28) – Rockies like to think of early open dates as snow days. Way more fun.


Atlanta
Atlanta

29. Atlanta Braves (57-89; Previous: 23) – Braves fans who watched second half will be surprised to learn club hadn’t already moved to Cobb County. But, no, one more season at Turner Field.


Philadelphia
Philadelphia

30. Philadelphia Phillies (56-91; Previous: 30) – Schedule arrives and Phillies’ first thought was, “Really, another one?”


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