The Money Talk All Parents and Teens Need to Have Before College

Parents, you've done a lot to prepare your child for freshman year of college. You managed to get your kid through high school. You spent long nights helping write college admission essays. And now the kids are on their way out the door.

But before you pack up the extra-long twin sheets, shower caddy and laptop for orientation week, don't forget this last crucial step: the freshman year personal finance talk.

"There's a sit-down conversation that needs to happen," says Nicole Hurd, founder and CEO of College Advising Corps, a nonprofit program advising low-income, first-generation and underrepresented students to and through college.

While most teenagers won't get pumped up for a conversation about savvy banking strategies, budgeting and responsible borrowing, their parents need to start an open discussion about these topics, experts say.

Here's why: The financial mistakes students make in college could follow them through adulthood. Repeated gaffes might ding their credit, hit them with an unexpectedly high student loan bill or even force them out of school.

Ideally, parents would have worked up to this conversation slowly, sprinkling in chats about budgeting, saving and spending during childhood conversations, says Brad Barnett, senior associate director of the office of financial aid and scholarships at James Madison University.

But it's not too late to start now or to focus on the unique personal finance issues that will arise during college.

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Here's how to kick off the college personal finance conversation.

"You need to track paperwork." When your child is in college, chances are the university will use the student's email or mailing address as main points of contact for sending financial aid paperwork, due-date reminders and other important financial forms, Barnett says.

Your child needs to know that it will be his responsibility to collect those documents and keep track of them.

"Students miss out on receiving financial aid dollars to help them pay for school because they've missed deadlines, missed forms, because they're not involved in the process," Barnett says.

Students should be careful to organize emails and check their mailbox regularly. They may need to keep on top of priority deadlines for next year's grants or be aware when their low GPA is threatening their scholarship eligibility. They'll need to keep up on enrollment deadlines and know when it's time to file the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, or FAFSA.

"You don't need to keep up with the campus Joneses." College may be the first time that a student meets peers from a wide range of economic backgrounds, experts say. And they can't let a big spender in their dorm impact their own money-management habits.

Parents should talk to their child about learning to say "No" to that spring break in Cancun or expensive dinner. Better yet, they should teach their child to suggest lower-cost alternatives, Barnett advises.

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"Student loan refund checks are not free money." Students who borrow for college and receive disbursements to spend on living expenses, books and other incidentals need to understand that it's not free money, experts say.

While you might have discussed college costs and student loans abstractly when filing the FAFSA or deciding to borrow, the situation is different when a student is handed a $2,000 check from the Bursar's Office and expected to budget it for a semester.

"You're not supposed to go off and spend that on pizza and clothing and concert tickets, or whatever," Hurd says. An honest talk about how to budget and prioritize expenses can help prevent your child from frittering away his loan dollars on luxuries.

The same lesson goes for credit cards, which students may be using for the first time in college. Swiping plastic might not seem like actually spending money, but it's important that a student understand that she'll have to repay each dollar, with interest.

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"It's OK to make mistakes." The truth is that any young person learning to manage money independently will have setbacks, whether it's overdrawing an account, missing a bill or ignoring a deadline.

Families will learn together whether it makes sense to allow the student to manage his own credit card or on-campus bank account. They'll have to learn whether it's necessary to require that the child have a part-time job in school or remain responsible for repaying all of his student loans. Each situation is unique.

"At some point, you have to cut that cord and let your child make their mistakes that they're going to make," says Katharine Ruby, director of college finance with College Coach, which advises students on the college admissions and finance process. "In some ways we don't learn how to manage money until we have to."

Susannah Snider is the Personal Finance editor at U.S. News. She previously covered paying for college and graduate school. You can follow her on Twitter or email her at ssnider@usnews.com.