California’s ban on certain fireworks takes the fun out of Independence Day | Opinion
There’s a lot that I’ve traded for in my move to California from Tennessee.
I’ve traded the sticky humid summer days to a nice and dry heat that is much more bearable.
I’ve traded brisket for what Californians call tri-tip. Much to my enjoyment I now live in a state where you can freely grow and use cannabis. But, it seems that I’ve traded an illegal substance for another.
I tell you what, a shock went through my body when arriving at a TNT fireworks stand in East Sacramento to find out that my beloved bottle rockets and firecrackers are illegal in the state of California.
“California has zero tolerance for the sale and use of illegal fireworks,” the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection said on its website. It is illegal to sell, transport, or use fireworks without the “safe and sane” seal.
In California, illegal fireworks include:
Sky rockets
Bottle rockets
Roman candles
Aerial shells
Firecrackers
The heartbreak is only something Taylor Swift could correctly capture.
There isn’t anything more Fourth of July than putting one of those little bottle rockets in a tube and launching them at your idiot brother because all day he’s been throwing those stupid little novelty fireworks Pop-its at your feet.
Placing a huge firework in the middle of the driveway, lighting it and running away with all you had made you feel like you were in a Michael Bay film. Holding a Roman candle was the closest thing we non-magic users, A.K.A muggles, have to know what it’s like to be a wizard.
As I share my admiration for these 19th-century bombs (they really are) I’ll admit it wasn’t always a fun time for me.
Firecracker fun in Tennessee
At the age of eight, my aunt took me to a fireworks show in the Mountain city of Swannee, TN. One after one, the fireworks would launch in the sky, followed by silence and then a huge boom. The loud bangs overwhelmed me, leading me to cry. My aunt’s shirt was pretty damp as she used to dry up my tears.
Even with my fear, I wouldn’t let that get in the way of my family’s enjoyment of the Fourth of July festivity, joining them in the backyard to watch them light fireworks.
One year, my mom’s boyfriend James thought that some southern redneck exposure therapy would be the best way to get me over my fear.
Unbeknownst to me, James bought a huge M80 firecracker belt that looked like something out of a Rambo movie.
As I sat outside in a lawn chair, watching the family enjoy the fireworks, James crept behind me, lit the insanely long string of firecrackers and threw them under my chair.
Much like a machine gun, those little pellets went off one by one. The heat from them shacked my body and jumped out of that seat higher than Bronny James’ vertical at the NBA combine. My clothes were covered in smoke, the black powder smeared on my attire.
It did help me realize that unless fireworks are inches close to you, damage to your body is unlikely. So after that, I would take a pack of bottle rockets over to my friend’s house for games of firecracker chicken, where we’d hold firecrackers in our hands as they were lit and wait to see who would hold on the longest.
4th of July has no spark without fireworks
Don’t get me wrong, it’s totally understandable that state has a ban on certain fireworks. We’re deep in wildfire season and whatever we can do to minimize that disaster the better.
It will be an adjustment going from a free for all, firework loving place like Tennessee to regulated, safe California. But regardless of where anyone is, the joy of watching fireworks of any kinds is a joyous part of Independence Day and I hope all can enjoy.
But just like Cannabis, fireworks, though illegal, will somehow still be used by residents across Sacramento.
Get your eardrums ready.
