J.D. Vance Spends Weird, Low-Energy Speech Praising Diet Mountain Dew

J.D. Vance’s weird, anti-woke punchline fell flat at his own sleepy speaking event on Monday.

Vance held a rally at his former high school in Middletown, Ohio, where hundreds gathered to hear the missives of Donald Trump’s newly-minted vice presidential candidate. But, even as a hometown hero, the Ohio senator suffered some brutally awkward moments.

“It is the weirdest thing to me: Democrats say that it is racist to believe—well, they say it’s racist to do anything,” said Vance. “I had a diet Mountain Dew yesterday, and one today. I’m sure they’re probably gonna call that racist, too.” Around the room there were some scattered laughs.

“It’s good,” he said after a beat, drawing more polite laughter from the rally attendees. Vance let out his own breathy laugh at his comment, slapping the podium in front of him. “I love you guys,” he said, smiling and laughing.

Vance’s weak swing at a joke landed as a lazy attempt to score some culture war points. And that wasn’t the only cringey moment during his time on stage. While there was a lot of laughter throughout Vance’s 40-minute speech, much of it appeared to come from him.

“I was told I was going to get to debate Kamala Harris; now President Trump is going to get to debate her?” Vance said, laughing again. At one point, he lost his train of thought after the crowd began to boo Harris, and started nervously laughing again.

While this would escape the interest of any normal person, it’s worth noting because his running mate has repeatedly called Vice President Kamala Harris “Laughing Kamala.” Like Vance’s quip about diet soda, this approach to criticism seems to stem from having absolutely nothing of substance to say about a subject, but giving it their best shot anyway.

Overall, the Republican’s performance was so underwhelming that even Fox News stopped airing coverage of Vance’s speech in the middle of his remarks.

Vance’s speech at the Republican National Convention last week was similarly kind of boring. At the time, it seemed like it could be an intentional play not to overshadow Trump, which the former president famously hates. But with Vance’s most recent display, it seems that sluggish performance might’ve been unavoidable.