No Miley Cyrus, Leonardo DiCaprio Does Not Want to Vape With You

Andrew Gruttadaro
Updated

"There's like an etiquacy," said Miley Cyrus on The Tonight Show last night, when explaining to Jimmy Fallon that Leonardo DiCaprio failed to adhere to social norms at SNL40 by not letting her take a drag off his vape pen. But here's the thing, Miley. One, etiquacy is almost definitely not a word. Two, LEO DID NOT COME HERE TO VAPE WITH YOU. Leo, a.k.a. Yung Jack Dawson, a.k.a. Rihanna's Ex, has a solid core of friends—I think you know what they call themselves—with whom he presumably vapes. You don't get to just suck robot dicks with Leo out of mere proximity, no matter how many times you've made it painfully clear that you do, in fact, suck robot dicks.

Can't believe Miley dragged Leo like this in public. I need to annotate this story and get it out of my system.

I was sitting there and I was like, 20 feet, 15 feet from Leonardo DiCaprio sitting there with his mom.

Leo is forever a momma's boy, it's great. I'm sure he'd vape with his mom, but you know what, Miley? Irmelin Indenbirken would at least have the courtesy to ask him for a puff, instead of assuming she'd earned one by sitting next to him.

He was hitting this vape pen, but it wasn't him that was making me kinda nervous. I was feeling this emotion because, there's like an etiquacy of when we're there, like, you need to... pass that shit, Leo? And he never did, soo, that was weird to me.

See the first paragraph above so I don't have to repeat myself. But also, when does Miley's "Isn't it crazy that I smoke weed?" gimmick run dry? Are we there yet? Have we been there for a long time? Is this what Bill Murray felt like in Groundhog Day?

ANYWHO, at this point Jimmy Fallon asks Miley whether Leo was vaping tabacco or "drugs."

He was looking at me like this as I was performing, so he was like, "Hey, I really, I really like it."

This is stoner profiling—from someone who ONLY talks about being a stoner! I don't appreciate it. Let's pretend this never happened, Miley. And when Leo comes at you all:

Don't you DARE try that "We’re all in this industry. We all do interviews. We all know how they manipulate" bullcrap.

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