Outlander "The Wedding" Review: The Sexiest Groomzilla

Outlander S01E07: "The Wedding"

Outlander, as literature, is known for scenes far zestier and spicier than the sexiest of curries. Thus, the novels' TV counterpart faced quite a challenge in portraying the boiling sexual chemistry between Jamie and Claire—and hot damn did "The Wedding" rise to it, with a pipes-of-pan-scored firelight love session that involved corset-untying, naked thrusting on a fur-strewn bed, and Claire proving you don't need to be a Scot to know how to play the bagpipes.

The episode was an indulgent, decadent hour of romance and sex that actually deepened a feeling of intimacy between the characters? Like, the love scenes actually served the story and wasn't just gratuitous, detached nudity? I was seriously impressed. Personally I get red in the face and cover my eyes during slow, lingering sex scenes, because Oh those poor actors were doing this in front of a crew and grips and a director and a camera! / "I have me inhibitions, I do, I do," but I'll say this for Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe: They made the audience feel like they were all alone, which I imagine is one of the hardest things two actors can do when approaching this kind of work.

"The Wedding" benefited from a structure that allowed us to enjoy the newlyweds' entire post-nuptials nookie session yet didn't neglect the big moments of their preparations and ceremony. It also began with another '1940s flashback (flashforward?) to Effete Frank's Vaguely Unsatisfying Behavior, which revealed that he married Claire almost on a whim, while the couple was en route to meet his parents for lunch (what a hell of a way to make a first impression on your mother-in-law: "I just married your son without asking you to be involved! My name is Claire!").

Frank didn't want a big fancy church wedding, and he apparently didn't give two toots if Claire did, given that he didn't actually ask her preferences; he just pointed out a wedding register place where they could get themselves contractually tied to one another with ruthless modern efficiency and then go on with their lives.

In contrast, Jamie shared with Claire how he'd INSISTED on a big fancy wedding ceremony to Dougal as a condition of their marriage: He wanted them to marry in a church. He wanted her to have a nice dress. He had a special ring made for her (and from a mysterious key, no less! More on that later, perhaps?). And he demanded that he get to wear a kilt of his clan's (the Frasiers) own colors. The acquisition of his preferred choice of formalwear required borrowing it from a nearby Frasier widow, and she had better brace herself for some MAJOR spot cleaning when she gets it back.

Meanwhile, a flustered Ned unearthed a fine, pristine wedding dress that'd miraculously been squirreled away at a whorehouse. Dougal and a friend first threatened and then bribed a priest to wed the couple with the promise of 18th-century storm windows. (P.S. Did anyone else feel like the actor playing the priest was waaay too big for his role? He was kind of amazing!) And the key ring looked pretty cool.

Claire, for her part, received maybe the biggest TA-DA! wedding-dress moment I've seen since The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, and if you think that's a complaint then you don't know me. Costume designer Terry Dresbach—who's also the wife of showrunner Ronald D. Moore—clearly poured her heart and soul into Claire's wedding dress, and I think it's sort of romantic on both sides of the camera that it enjoyed such a show-stopping reveal and full pan from head to toe by the camera. Also, let's be real, it was STUNNING... and huge.

So yes, we had Frank, marrying Claire on a lark in their street clothes on the way to somewhere else, and then we had Jamie, marrying Claire to protect her and then demanding every little girl's dream wedding for their special day. Maybe that's the crux of why Jamie is so appealing as a character; he represents all that is noble and strong about masculinity, yet he completely relates to and honors traditionally feminine values. No wonder Claire almost tossed her wedding ring out the window after their night of bag-pipe duets.

The wedding ceremony itself, with the wrist-cutting and hand-fasting and romantic Gaelic oaths, was really one for the book fans. From the top of the episode, with Claire uneasily kissing Jamie, to their last interaction (grinding on Mrs. Frasier's quilt), there was real growth in the relationship. And even though Black Jack Randall is out of the picture for now (dealt with by Dougal, offscreen), there are still challenges on the horizon—perhaps the first being Dougal's low-key propositioning of Claire when she crept downstairs to get some water on her wedding night. Noooo, timing is not Dougal's forte, but his behavior underlines how precarious Jamie's position is with the MacKenzies, and also beautifully illustrates how Claire's identity has shifted. She's Jamie's wife, damn it! You could feel her need to protect his honor as well as her own with that statement. They're now officially a team. A sexy, hot, lusty team.

QUESTIONS:

... Did you giggle, blush, fast-forward/rewind the love scenes, or did you view them with the cool appreciation of a historical-fiction scholar?

... Dougal's game: weak?

... Is Claire really a bigamist or adulterer, considering Frank isn't technically born yet? Does "as long a we both shall live" cover affairs during time-travel when one partner does not exist?

... What was your favorite part of "The Wedding"?