I grew up in a small town in California. I'd never even heard the term "gay" until I graduated from high school and moved to Los Angeles.
At UCLA, my college roommate and I both took a variety of English literature courses. I remember reading about lesbians as part of my studies. Understanding the meaning of "gay" in literature, however, is very different from knowing individuals and learning to accept them for who they are. When a friend in my college dorm chose to "come out," and found herself ousted from her family as a result, her tears made the meaning of "gay rights" into something very human and personal.
Deja Vu All Over Again
With the August 4, 2010, ruling, It's a "deja vu all over again" feeling. First there was the celebration when same-sex marriages were ruled legal. Ring the wedding bells; toss the rice! Interesting recollection: at one gay wedding that I attended in Santa Cruz, I remember overhearing a guest at the reception predict that such weddings would once again be ruled unlawful in the near future.
That reality came to pass. Such an odd situation: I could listen to friends who were impacted by that odd cancellation of legal vows that they had taken. Then there was the couple who had planned their wedding for a year, persuaded both sets of parents to attend -- and then had to cancel it. But I could not imagine how it would feel.
It all reminds me, in some ways, of what happens when a birth mother chooses to give up her baby for adoption, gives the baby to the adoptive parents - and then decides to keep her baby after all. For a few fleeting hours, sometimes even days, a childless couple has a baby they desperately wanted -- and then it is suddenly taken from them, out of control. In the same way, a same-sex couple might have decided to make their partnership legal and take vows of "forever" -- and then have that decision taken from them.
What Does Marriage Symbolize
There are those, however, who argue that the "man and wife" aspects of marriage should be cherished because of the implications for children. They cite studies showing that children raised by traditional couples do better academically and socially, thus supporting their arguments that the traditions need to be upheld.
California's Protect Marriage group, for example, has a program focused on legal battles to support their believe "that children raised in the embrace of traditional marriage have the best chance to lead happy and productive lives, and that the next generation of society benefits from children raised in a home with both a mom and a dad."
Prediction: The same-sex wedding bells may be ringing in California -- but the fight waged by both sides is far from over.
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Sources:
1) The History of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Studies at UCLA
2) ProtectMarriage.com
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