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    Penguins Malkin to return against Lightning

    PITTSBURGH (AP) — Pittsburgh Penguins center Evgeni Malkin will return to the lineup Monday night against the Tampa Bay Lightning.

    The league's reigning MVP hasn't played since his concussion after slamming into the end boards in a win over Florida on Feb. 22.

    Coach Dan Bylsma says Malkin has passed all the mandatory NHL protocols following a head injury. Malkin says he has not experienced headaches, neck soreness or other symptoms. Malkin adds he did have short-term memory loss the day he was hurt.

    Malkin has four goals and 17 assists this season. The Penguins went 2-2 in Malkin's absence. The 26-year-old is to play on the second line with Beau Bennett and James Neal against the Lightning.

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    • Kim and Kanye's Baby Name Is Not That Strange

      It's being reported that rapper Kanye West and his reality star girlfriend Kim Kardashian have named their brand-new baby, born this weekend, Kaidence Donda West. Donda was Kanye's late mother's name, so that makes sense, but, um, Kaidence? What's going on with Kaidence?

    • Man charged with tossing wife off cruise ship

      SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) — A California grand jury has indicted a Florida man on charges he strangled his ex-wife and tossed her off a cruise ship in Italy.

    • Can fetuses masturbate?

      To rally support for his anti-abortion bill, Rep. Michael Burgess of Texas tells Congress that fetuses can feel pleasure

    • Justin Bieber Maybe Shouldn't Drive Cars Anymore

      Oh lord. Another day, another incident involving teen menace Justin Bieber and one of his expensive vroom-vrooms. It seems that Justin Bieber was involved in a traffic incident last night that had police questioning him about a possible a hit-and-run situation. Justin was leaving the Laugh Factory last night in his Ferrari and apparently hit a dude who was standing in the street. Bieber didn't stop to check on him, leading police to think it might have been a hit-and-run. ...

    • GOP Congressman Wants to Ban Abortion to Save Masturbating Fetuses

      In a preview of the many pronouncements to come on the floor of Congress as the House debates a legislative ban on all abortions after 20 weeks, allow us to introduce you to Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas), who believes that abortion should be banned earlier than the Supreme Court says it should because, in part, he knows fetuses feel pain. He knows this because he says he's seen male fetuses begin masturbating in the womb around 15 weeks into a pregnancy.

    • Rick Perry Goes to War Against Connecticut

      Rick Perry, the Texas governor and 2012 "oops" presidential candidate, is spending the beginning of this week in Connecticut. Perry, as the governor of Texas, has little on-its-face reason to be in Connecticut. Except, of course, for one: Texas's unemployment rate, which at 6.4 percent in April is significantly lower than the national average, is still not quite ideal. Perry wants to bring jobs to his state. And, as he sees it, some of those jobs could come from Connecticut.

    • Edward Snowden wants everyone to stop talking about his girlfriend [PHOTOS]

      Alleged National Security Administration whistle-blower Edward Snowden would like for everyone to stop talking about his hot girlfriend, thank you very much. (RELATED: Here is the NSA whistle blower’s alleged girlfriend)

    • Playmate admits helping boyfriend in US illegally

      SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP) — A former Playboy Playmate has admitted helping her Canadian boyfriend after he illegally entered the United States in northern New York last summer.

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