Penny Dreadful "Little Scorpion" Review: Desolation Vacation (PHOTO RECAP)
Penny Dreadful S02E07: "Little Scorpion"
Sometimes you just gotta get out of town, man. Could be your neighborhood's too loud or hot, or maybe Theresa in accounting won't get off your BACK about invoices. Meanwhile your kids won't do their chores and your dog nearly bit your hand clean off. Or maybe your stress is related to something as simple as being relentlessly pursued by a coven of witch jerks who have made an unflattering voodoo doll version of you. It's these kinds of life scenarios that call for an impromptu road trip, a last-minute booking via Airbnb, anything to shake ourselves out of the routine. But in Vanessa and Ethan's case, getting out of town doesn't mean your problems won't follow. So in "Little Scorpion," which saw Vanessa return to that weird witch house in the bog with a lycanthropic hunk in tow, we saw firsthand that when it comes to Victorian London monster problems, perhaps a staycation works just as well.
As an episode "Little Scorpion" wasn't exactly the most propulsive; it worked mainly as a stopover before the end-season fireworks begin. But for those who really like that simmering romantic tension between Vanessa and Ethan, it was a great, cozy, romantic, and heartbreaking episode. Plus, we finally got to see Ethan chase down and consume a baby lamb in the moonlight, so that was pretty fun. And Vanessa finally cracked that evil grimoire and traded in her everlasting soul so that some German Shepherds would eat a dick. But why list off this episode's highlights when I can SHOW them to you!
It was the morning after Ethan chained himself up in the basement and turned into a wolf man, and he was still so mad about it that he just pouted on the floor while Sembene tried to cheer him up.
Sembene had a speech about how where he comes from (Milwaukee?) animals who eat other animals become two animals. Or something? It was a metaphor. Anyway, he felt that Ethan was a good person and would remain himself no matter what. This friendship is very touching.
But what was NOT a touching friendship moment was when Sir Malcolm turned into a jerk and accused Vanessa of hallucinating last week's ballroom blood rain due to having PMS. Even Dr. Frankenstein was like, "Whoa, guy." Ever since Sir Malcolm shaved off his sweet goat, he'd been acting differently, and accusing Vanessa of imagining very real and normal evils was especially lame on his part. Knowing Sir Malcolm could no longer be trusted, Vanessa made a bold decision.
It was vacation time! She DID have that weird house in the middle of nowhere that Patti LuPone had given her, so it seemed like a good time for a vacation. Fortunately Ethan seemed into the idea and it would be a fun impromptu getaway for both of them. Or would it???? (It wouldn't.)
I liked when Vanessa trusted Victor with her whereabouts and no one else. But mostly because it gave her the opportunity to razz him one more time about having a crush on his cousin. I don't know why, but it's always so amusing to see Vanessa set aside her concerns of being possessed by the Devil to get in a little bit of girl talk. It's just really charming is all.
Not quite as charming was that house she took Ethan to. Yep, it's still run-down and foreboding, like something out of a Tim Burton cheese-before-bedtime dream. But here's the thing, and it should not come as a shock: Vanessa and Ethan had a GREAT TIME together.
Look at the expression on her face when Ethan regaled her with one of his countless tales of genocide-related heroics. She is positively glowing. Definite crush action going on here. And for his part Ethan seemed to really appreciate having the freedom to do occasionally run outside, transmogrify into a wolf man, and eat sheep.
So it was a pretty relaxing and much-needed vacation at first. And the activities didn't end there! They walked around finding delicious treats to eat.
Ethan got in some good romantic hero exercise (chopping down a tree in damp long johns) after Vanessa announced that she hated all trees.
In this case she hated this tree because it was the one that Patti LuPone was tied to when she was lit on fire, but I laughed out loud when Vanessa went on to say that she hated all other trees also, without exception. (Even Christmas trees, you monster?!)
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Ethan and Vanessa's will-it-or-won't-it-be-romantic getaway got even cuter later when Ethan put on a very nice Eddie Bauer sweater and offered to teach her how to shoot bottles in mid-air. In return, Vanessa showed Ethan how to dance dirtily.
And at this point the sexual tension started whistling like a tea kettle because it was horny o'clock and they were both about to board the last train out of Friendzone.
And just when it seemed like their lust-eyes couldn't get more intense, lightning crashed and tons of fire swooped into the room!
But don't worry, they put the fire out and got to making out in the rain all Notebook-style.
FINALLY. Two monsters found love in a hopeless place. Except then Vanessa pulled away because maybe it was a bad idea?
So that was sad and needlessly frustrating. But come on, this is Victorian England. What did you expect, emotional fulfillment? Anyway, heartache or not, this vacation was at least still one for the memory books.
I liked when Ferdinand and Victor were hanging out talkin' devilry and Ferdinand realized that the Devil was afraid of a dog-beast from hell (or something). Which of course meant that Ethan was probably destined for a larger role in the ultimate showdown the artifacts had been prophesizing. Or this was at the very least an explanation for why Vanessa suddenly recoiled from Ethan. They are perhaps the supernatural world's version of oil and vinegar. Not that Victor was paying attention in the slightest.
Yeah, ever since he saw Lily dancing and talking with Dorian Gray he'd been getting verrrrry jeal. That only got worse when she told him she was going to go hang out with Dorian Gray that night.
They did that mind-game thing that new couples do, when one is trying to not let the other one know just how into them they were. So Victor was like, "Oh yeah, that's cool, tell him I said hi," but deep down his feelings were a riptide of badtimes.
On their actual night out on the town, Dorian took Lily to the Putney Wax Museum where they admired all the very realistic corpse-work. But one attraction caught her eye: The grave robbers digging up a corpse with the intention to sell to mad scientists. It reminded her of a familiar situation but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
Next: Someone brings the garbage back and Lily gets interesting!
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Remember this trash? He'd been the one to head up the operation to burn Patti LuPone alive, and he was still riding his horses around making threats to ladies in the woods. But this time Vanessa and Ethan were walking together, so Ethan was privy to this dude's violent rudeness. At this point Vanessa and Ethan then both privately decided they would murder this guy for sure, and we were treated to a sequence in which each went about it in his or her way. For her part, Vanessa decided to finally crack open that book that Patti LuPone had warned her about. The one about doing death-magic which would signify that she'd fully gone away from God. In other words, Vanessa didn't really struggle with the idea too much.
Meanwhile Ethan showed up at the dude's estate to put a bullet in his forehead. But Vanessa's magic beat him to it!
So yeah, a bunch of dogs ate a jerk. Ethan was both appalled and slightly jealous in my opinion. If dogs were going to be chewing through necks, it was gonna be HIM.
So after her date with Dorian, Lily took a cab downtown and got sexually propositioned by Mrs. Doubtfire here. As it turned out, Lily was HORNY, and her new fetish was MURDER.
So yup: She strangled a dude to death! That was a side-effect of her reanimation NONE of us saw coming.
In other words, Lily just got INTERESTING.
Back at the vacation cabin, Ethan came home and yelled at Vanessa for choosing a dark path, and she was just sort of bummed at his hypocrisy. It's a hell of a thing when you get lectured about evil by Mr. Genocide.
And then the episode ended with a stand-off. Just two former (?) love interests staring into the fire in heartbroken silence. Classic Penny Dreadful!
Again, "Little Scorpion" was less about moving plot forward (the witches were completely absent) and more about filling us in on Ethan and Vanessa's emotional states. But Penny Dreadful continues to excel at creating such rich atmosphere and it's still downright cozy. Even that terrible-looking cabin felt like a place you or I might want to spend a long weekend, you know? As disgusting or sad or florid as this show can be, it's still very A+ when it comes to escapism. Victorian London has never looked more appealing! BRB gonna see if I can Airbnb that witch cabin.
OK BYE.
QUESTIONS
... Are you rooting for Ethan and Vanessa to work out their issues?
... Are Ethan and Vanessa destined to become supernatural enemies?
... Is Lily's new sexual preference worrisome at all?
... Do you wish Sembene was YOUR ride-or-die also?
