The Paperwork of Patriotism: Voter Registration Deadlines Approacheth

You arrange for your dream 30-day European cruise, then realize you didn't get your passport. Aunt Esmerelda hands over the keys to her Lamborgini Gallardo, then snatches it back when she finds out you didn't renew your driver's license.

Bureaucracy may be a pain, but you need proper registration to step beyond borders, drive a car, or express your preference for the next leader of the United States of America ... and the first batch of state voter registration deadlines comes this weekend.

Record voter registration levels have been, well, registering across the nation, and naturally the political enthusiasm has infected the online citizenry: Lookups on how to register were at their highest January, the start of the primary season, then swelled again in August. September lookups have been very low, so either every eligible voter has signed up, or some people need the reminder of an impending deadline.

If you claim citizen rights to American soil but still feel reluctant about signing up, below are some answers to squelch some objections.

Why bother ... the whole process is rigged. True, voting itself has become mired in manipulation scandals and technological snafus, as the Huffington Post details. All the more reason for citizens to turn out in great numbers, to protect the integrity of voting itself.

I won't be home on Nov. 4/The weather's getting nippy/My shoes hurt. Did we not mention early absentee voting, available in 36 states? You don't even have to take off your slippers.

Dude, registering is not a social act. Hello, Facebook is doing it.

I've been a jailbird. Some of you are forgiven, at least in Virginia. The state restored privileges for nonviolent felons.

Voting booths are claustrophobic. If you live in Orange County, California, the registrar plans to have drive-through voting, but only through Oct. 20.

Make the rest of the world jealous. Trend Hunter chatted with IfTheWorldCouldVote.com, which is allowing thousands of non-Americans to weigh in. Your vote would actually count.

-- by Vera H-C Chan