Sarah Jessica Parker Deemed Unfit for the Porn World

The Atlantic Wire

 Today in show business news: Carrie Bradshaw is left on the cutting-room floor, Betty White gets another big birthday party, and USA wants its own Andy Cohen show.

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America's Favorite Woman (1998-2004) Sarah Jessica Parker was at one point a part of the cast of the upcoming Linda Lovelace biopic Lovelace, starring Amanda Seyfried. She wasn't just some extra, she was playing famous feminist Gloria Steinem in an epilogue to the film that showed Lovelace, the infamous star of Deep Throat, begin the anti-porn crusade that defined the second half of her life. It was a small but pivotal role, one that SJP took over last-minute after Demi Moore fell... "ill." But now, well, now she's out of the film. The producers and the director decided to end the movie just as the anti-porn stuff was beginning, in 1980, before Lovelace got involved with Steinem, around 1984. So mostly the movie is about the porn, with just a little at the end about the other stuff. Aha. Meaning SJP is out. Work done for no real reason. I mean, I guess she has a funny dinner party story now. "I played Gloria Steinem in a porn star biopic but was cut out." That should get guests chuckling at the ribaldry and self-effacement of it all, right? So, maybe SJP wins after all. She gets a funny story, and doesn't have to be in a Linda Lovelace biopic. Everyone else, meanwhile, is still stuck with the movie. As are Malin Åkerman and the cast of the other Linda Lovelace biopic. So. Good thing we have all that. [Entertainment Weekly]

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Speaking things that there should be one, or maybe even two, less of, NBC has announced that they're doing another televised Betty White birthday celebration. Last year Betty White's 90th Birthday Special did pretty well in the ratings, so they're going to do Betty White's 2nd Annual 90th Birthday Special this February. Ugh. While it's nice that everyone loves Betty White and she's got a flourishing career at such an advanced age, aren't we all going a little overboard with the whole thing? I mean, ultimately who cares, if it makes a nice old lady happy that let's just make the nice old lady happy, but it's started to all feel a bit much. Like, maybe she feels pressure to do all this because people expect it of her? We shouldn't put pressure on an old lady like that. We're also seriously setting ourselves up for a lot of hurt later on. Not that old people should be ignored lest we feel sad when the die, it's just... I don't know. Something feels off about all this Betty White madness. But who am I to judge. Carry on, folks. Do what needs doing, I suppose. [Deadline]

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The USA Network for poorly lit shows about lighthearted crime-solving is teaming up with Will Ferrell's production company to create a live late-night talk show that has the feel of a morning show. Meaning, they're going for a Kelly & Michael/fourth-hour of Today vibe, but at night. Basically USA is looking for its own Watch What Happens Live, because that's really something to aspire to. Though, there will be coffee, just like in the morning, instead of booze. Even though, hm, Kathie Lee and Hoda definitely drink booze instead of coffee. So it's only like Kelly & Michael then. No coffee over at Today's fourth hour, no sireee. Anyway, we can't wait to see what pair of jerks they hire to sit in a basement and interview stars from the network. A hilarious, off-color chat with James Roday! Wacky games with Patrick J. Adams! Admit it, it does sound pretty thrilling. I mean, you've had all this trouble getting to sleep, tried pills and meditation and all that and nothing worked, but now here, finally, is this. You'll be mayor of snoozetown before you know it. Thanks, USA. [TV Guide]

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Meanwhile Bravo is steaming ahead with a show called Extreme Guide to Parenting, which, no, is not a Duggars ripoff. Each episode will feature two different families, both of whom "practice unique styles of raising their children." Some of the methods on display will include "attachment, parents who breastfeed their children until age 4…or older; helicopter, in which parents are so protective they use disguises to monitor their offspring’s every move; and fiercely competitive, parents who enroll their children in Mandarin Chinese courses before they can spell." Ha. So, it's about crazy people. Crazy people with children. Well, I guess the last one is just Rick Moranis in Parenthood, but disguises?? Yes, those are crazy people, who maybe should not have children, and should definitely not be encouraged by national television coverage. Though I guess the jig will be up when the kid sees the show, huh? "Dad, I know that's you wearing the wig and janitor's uniform. Mom, take off that fake nose and get out of the bushes. I know now. I know everything." This show mostly sounds like a nightmare, but, come on, admit it: Who doesn't like peering into other people's homes and seeing how badly they're raising their children? It's what people have done for centuries! This is the new peering over the back fence, that's all. [Deadline]

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The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has tapped Star Trek costars Zoe Saldana and Chris Pine to co-host its annual Scientific and Technical Awards, the ones that come before the real Oscars and are briefly touched upon during the big ceremony. And that is progress! Almost always it's some lone sexy young woman, sent to parade around in front of the nerds to keep them from wandering off to tinker with lights and cameras and things. But this year, they've got a guy involved too. Way to break that retainer-plastic ceiling, Chris. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Here is a new trailer for Take Shelter director Jeff Nichols's next feature, Mud, starring Matthew McConaughey and one of the kids from Tree of Life. Oh and Reese Witherspoon! Though she appears to be a small-ish part. Mostly it's McConaughey and two kids, dealing with menacing things happening down by a river. The movie looks moody and interesting and all that, but definitely more like a straightforward thriller in a way that Take Shelter definitely was not. Though, that might simply be for marketing reasons. Maybe the actual movie is weird and complex like its predecessor. Either way, we're eager to find out. The McConaughey transformation continues!

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