Squish, Squash I was Having a Mammogram

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and many women mark this month by scheduling a mammogram.

For some it will be their first and they may be dreading the experience because of the horror stories that circulate.

Well I'm here to tell them that I am no longer a mammogram virgin and there is nothing to it.

One of my coworkers may have summed it up best when she described her mammogram experience as less invasive than a bra fitting.

For me it did not feel like having body parts slammed in a refrigerator door and it did not bring tears to my eyes.

Unlike most, my first experience was a diagnostic exam and not a basic screening, so my beloved body parts were squished and squashed several more times than those of women having a screening exam.

The squishing and squashing was followed by an ultrasound which also was a walk in the park.

I traveled to Breast Imaging of Oklahoma, located in Edmond, for the somewhat dreaded experience.

The appointment was warranted after my doctor told me he felt a pea size lump during an exam. So with the finding and the ripe old age of 40 around the corner he recommended the mammogram.

I had decided to blow off his findings and ignore it, but after dreaming that weird science fiction creatures called tomato pods were infesting my breast tissue I decided that maybe I was a little more concerned over the finding and made the appointment.

I chose the Edmond facility because they are digital and you leave the appointment with conclusions not questions. Also, in 2003 the facility was ranked second behind Austin Radiological Association in Austin, Texas on the top 5 list of specialty facilities.

My experience was very professional and it took just over an hour. That is including the doctor reviewing the images.

For those with questions about how this works.

The first step is the technician positioning you the way you need to be on and at the digital machine followed by painless squishing. The technician then flips a switch and then frees your beloved body part.

Of course she then squashes the other one. But I stress it did not hurt.

It is suggested that you schedule your appointement after your monthly cycle. This will help prevent some tenderness.

The technician said that most people do make the experience sound worse than it really is but that some people are more sensitave than others. She added that size may make a little difference because of gravity but she does not believe that women with smaller breasts have less pain than those with bigger ones.

Also there was no brusing left behind from the experience.

After the squishing and squashing it was time for the ultrasound which includes squirting, not to get away from the squ-theme.

I had not heard any horror stories about this and with good reason, there is no horror to it.

After squirting a warm jelly type substance on the area, a transducer is rubbed over the area. All of this results in images on a screen.

My doctor was Dr. Kelly McDonough. She reviewed the mammogram and the ultrasound images and ruled in my case all was well.

She could not see nor feel any lump. All that was found were three little water cysts, which did somewhat resemble the tomoto pods in my dream, but she said they are very common and can be caused by caffeine.

As for the mystery lump felt by the doctor, she explained that stress may have been a factor.

In the end I'm fine for the moment and the fear of mammograms has been conquered.

So if it is time for you to lose your mammogram virginity, then go for it and don't be scared of the squishing, squashing, and maybe even squiriting that follows.

Instead fear the bill that may follow if you do not have insurance.