This week, as I sifted through comments and suggestions from people I’ve never met, I re-examined every single stupid decision I've ever made in my life. And, believe me, I've made plenty. But, acknowledging my mistakes allows me to learn from them.
I never said having five kids without being financially stable was smart. But I don't think it means we should be thrown to the wolves, either. Repeatedly, I am asked the same questions: Why do we home school? Why don't we "go get jobs?" Do we have our "head in the clouds?" Have we "earned" the right to do what we believe in?
We made the decision to home school our kids before things went haywire. It's not like I got sick, lost my scholarship, and then said "Hey! I know! Let's home school our kids!”
I can put my kids back in public school, but will they really be focused on learning? Or will they be trying to figure out why their parents went back on their word? My kids didn't do anything wrong and they will be the last ones to suffer.
All our goals have been written out on paper and prayed about. One of those goals is for me to finish law school, but not because I want a lot of money. Too many people live a life that makes them miserable just because it brings in money. But that’s not me. As a nation, we have begun to blur the line between right and wrong. Anything goes as long as we can rationalize it. But right and wrong still exist and that’s why I need to finish law school. So I can stand up for what is right...for everyone.
As my health continues to improve, I’m reminded of how far we’ve come. We’ve been through worse than this and have come out on top every time. This will be no different. We just have to formulate a new plan.
As you follow this series, you will be able to see this plan unfold. Just remember, a four-minute video can't possibly tell our whole story.
I am accountable for every choice I make. To myself, to my family, and to God. They remind me that life is not about public approval. It’s about love. And when loving people is your focus, everything else takes care of itself. You may not believe that now, but soon, you will.
After Starlight's family moved across the country for her law program at the University of Texas, she became sick and lost her scholarship. Starlight was also ineligible for a Grad Plus loan. Health care costs have put extra pressure on her husband Jose to find the right job. See more from Jose & Starlight.