Taylor Swift Crushed the Dream of Her Creepiest Fan

The Atlantic

Today in celebrity gossip: 39-year-old men are not eligible to become Taylor Swift's biggest fan; Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold celebrate the '90s by bickering in public; Jennifer Lawrence remains the best.

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If you are a 39-year-old man with questionable taste in music, please be advised that you are NOT eligible to become Taylor Swift's biggest fan. That's what Boston resident Charles (just one name, like Sting) learned after winning Kiss 108 FM's Taylor Swift's Biggest Fan Contest only to be informed that his victory "compromised" the "integrity" of the contest. It's not clear if Charles' online campaign to meet the 23-year-old publicity prodigy violated contest rules when he openly claimed he intended to "make a complete ass of himself by blatantly just sniffing her hair with cameras rolling," but it is clear that Taylor Swift would prefer not to have backstage meetups with 39-year-old men who threaten to behave like creeps around her. 35-year-old men maybe, but certainly not 39-year-old men. Fortunately for those currently tallying Taylor Swift's karma points, last Friday the singer visited an Italian restaurant in Philly, hooked the chef up with free concert tickets for his autistic son, and then left a $500 tip. Taylor Swift and her publicists ask that you please remember only the second part of this story, thanks! [E! Online]

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Gen-X nostalgists rejoice! The most fearsome '90s rivalry since Chun-Li and M. Bison recently flared up again in a big way: Earlier this week none other than old flames Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold got into a public bickering match on Twitter! The spat began when Arnold tweeted a joke about donating his old wedding videos to Goodwill, to which Barr demanded to know whether the the videos in question were from their wedding. After a lengthy, seemingly heated exchange of @-replies in which the former She-Devil star accused the former True Lies sidekick of having given away some of her rightful possessions over the years, he responded by accusing her of no longer being funny. And because this was Twitter, various comedians weighed in as well. Eventually the flare-up dwindled to a flickering ember when Arnold finally admitted that the videos were from his other wedding(s) and promised to double-check next time. At that point conversation turned to Arnold's newborn son and Barr's curiosity about his astrological sign. Just another normal conversation between two original-recipe rascals. [E! Online]

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Only days after Miley Cyrus offered sage words of advice to Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato has emerged from her glittery mausoleum with advice for Miley Cyrus. Referencing Cyrus' newly established hard partying persona, the X-Factor judge explained, "I'm always like, ‘Just be careful.' And she's like, ‘Dude, I'm chilling. It's fine.'" So let the record show that Demi Lovato would like Miley Cyrus to be careful, but Miley Cyrus is chilling and also it's fine. Lovato, of course, shared Disney Channel airtime with Cyrus when they were both teenagers before checking herself into rehab at 18, so if she isn't worried about Miley Cyrus, then we shouldn't be worried about Miley Cyrus either. Right? Isn't that how concern works? Anyway, it's all pretty charming that these young celebrities have a press-interview-support-group thing going. Anytime any of them needs advice or moral support from a peer, they need only peruse the nearest scandal sheet. Tabloids: The original social media for celebrities. [E! Online]

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Well, this is uncomfortable. Back in January nine former American Idol contestants publicly accused producers of racial discrimination; they've now officially filed a lawsuit against the producers, Fox, and FremantleMedia on the grounds that at least ten black contestants have been publicly fired and shamed on-air for having had criminal histories while the same standards were not applied to white contestants. The plaintiffs, who include Corey Clark (Season 2), Ju'Not Joyner (Season 8), and Chris Golightly (Season 9), each seek $25 million in damages or roughly 25 million times more than what's in the tip jar where Lee Dewyze works as a sandwich artist. Your first instinct may be to chortle at this lawsuit's apparent frivolousness, but please keep in mind that a $250 million victory might finally be the thing to kill American Idol. Just sit back and daydream about that for a second. Good luck, everybody! [TMZ]

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Chances are you've slept not a wink since learning of Amanda Bynesrecent hospitalization, so here's a quick follow-up to help you rest easier as this bizarre saga continues to unfold. After placing Bynes in a 5150 involuntary 3-day hold, authorities determined that Bynes will not be charged with arson, trespassing, nor Pomeranian-gassing, suggesting that the arresting officers were very confident that she is mentally unwell. Further, the crack backseat psychiatrists at TMZ believe the 27-year-old has been exhibiting signs of schizophrenia and they predict that medical professionals will seek to extend her hospitalization a further 2 weeks. Finally, it appears more than likely Bynes' embattled parents will place her under a conservatorship, which is basically a really expensive buddy-system for troubled starlets who can no longer be left alone. While this is obviously a tough time for Bynes and those who support her, one hopes an official diagnosis could hasten treatment that returns to us the intentionally hilarious person she used to be. [TMZTMZ]

Because not all young female celebrities exist in a frightening, hollow hellscape of fame and unchecked indulgence, let's quickly turn our attention to Jennifer Lawrence! (As if our attention ever left Jennifer Lawrence.) Yes, roughly 35 percent of the internet is now devoted to the exploration and celebration of the Oscar-winning Hunger Games star's manifest awesomeness, but this clip is still worth watching: Jennifer Lawrence, at Comic-Con, having a fan-freakout moment with Jeff Bridges. It's charming enough when she timidly takes the Extra host's microphone to "interview" Bridges, but it's the part where she attempts to get him to admit his favorite character is The Dude that really cements her lady-dreamboat status. Check it out below (pertinent part at 2:29):

[Extra]

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