10 Best Trader Joe's Coffees, Ranked by an Expert
By: Jeremy Glass
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
Trader Joe’s has become a staple in the affordable-groceries-that-won’t-give-you-diarrhea game. Two Buck Chuck, those little frozen tacos, chocolate bars, and a seriously large selection of coffee—with over a dozen varieties, some of which average out to fifty cents an ounce, there’s no telling what’s behind the relentlessly-twee cardboard vessels. So, it was time to get an expert to help differentiate the good stuff from the not-so-good-stuff.
After a long, yet incredibly educational, morning at Toby’s Estate in Brooklyn, I can say that I’ve learned more about coffee than I ever thought possible. With the help of Allie Caran, Head of Coffee Education at Toby’s Estate, I brought in nearly eight pounds of Trader Joe’s coffee to be ground up, sniffed, brewed, tasted, and meticulously scrutinized for the sake of science and a unanimous love of caffeine.
More: 15 Useful Things You Can Do With Coffee Besides Drinking It
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
The Set-up
Foolishly, I tried to schedule the tasting at the Supercompressor headquarters, an idea that was gently rejected in favor of the sterile and complex laboratory at Toby’s Estate. (We work in a noisy open office where the noise flows like beer, which—in turn—flows like water.)
More: 17 Ways to Turbocharge Your Morning Routine
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
The methodology behind a “cupping,” in which coffee beans are ground up and analyzed is nothing short of fascinatingly scientific…or maybe scientifically fascinating? Each Trader Joe’s coffee was precisely weighed out, precisely ground, and precisely poured into little porcelain bowls.
Coffee expert Allie Caran (left) and I stuck our noses in each cup and took in the different scents of the ten varieties of coffee I schlepped from Manhattan to Brooklyn. It was olfactory paradise.
More: How to Hack a Keurig and Make Your K-Cup Coffee Not Suck
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
There’s actually very little time to think when you’re experiencing coffee in such a timely fashion. The water is poured into each cup and you’re then told smell it again, in which a whole new set of aromas jumps out.
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
Despite the frightening expression on my face, I’m having quite the opposite of a horrendous stroke. Tasting coffee during a coffee session is similar to what you’ve heard about the way Asians eat noodles: severe slurps. Though, I was instructed to not slurp over the cup and to rinse my spoon in cold water between each coffee.
The following notes are what Allie and I had to say about Trader Joe’s coffee, ranked from worst to best.
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
10. Bay Blend
$7.99
AC: Fish sauce, burnt toast, lingering pipe tobacco, roasted ceder. That is just…such an unfamiliar flavor. That fish sauciness… I wish I had better words, I don’t want to throw this under the bus. It’s just really lingering. 2
JG: Tastes kind of like a bastard version of number two. I didn’t taste the initial fishiness I got from smelling the grounds. Definitely some charcoal in there. 1
Final Score: 1.5
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
9. Café Pajaro
$7.99
AC: Nutty, burnt tobacco, charcoal. Cigarette butts. I found it dry and sour at the same time. 3.5
JG: Oh, that’s burnt. This one tastes especially burnt to me. I don’t love this one, there’s no sweetness and it’s this lingering taste that won’t go away. 2
Score: 2.75
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
8. Italian Roast
$8.99
AC: Wow, this one was really weird. Fishy, gasoline. I also think there’s vinegar, mushroom. Bitter and super dry. 3
JG: This is rough. It tastes like… rubber. I don’t love it. 3
Score: 3
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
7. Peaberry Honduras
$7.99
AC: Ashy, latex, medicinal. I’m actually really disappointed with this one. Very hollow and nutty. Yeah, this one was so sad for me! I had high hopes… it’s such a shame! 3
JG: Hmm… almost like almonds? Sour almonds? 3.5
Final Score: 3.25
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
6. Colombia Supremo
$6.99
AC: Rubber and citrus. I really didn’t like this. Tobacco, too. 2
JG: I think it’s fruity? Sweet and citrus-like. I don’t hate it. 5
Score: 3.5
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
5. Five Country Espresso Blend
$8.99
AC: Woody… cocoa powder, smoke, cigarettes. 4
JG: I taste McDonald’s coffee. 5
Score: 4.5
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
4. Bali Blue Moon
$8.99
AC: Carbon, nutty, malty, some burnt caramel, cantaloupe, and straw. I didn’t mind it and the aroma wasn’t too bad. The burnt caramel is the one positive note, but it was dry… no brightness or fruity quality. For a lot of them, they maintain the same flavor. 5
JG: I feel like it tastes milky. It’s coating the back of my throat. 5
Score: 5
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
3. New Mexico Piñon Coffee
$6.99
AC: Definitely vanilla extract and very alcoholic tasting. Very thin body, probably because it was pre-ground. It was a pretty thin coffee all around—you get the flavor right off the bat and not much else. It’s for the sweet-tooth person. 4.5
JG: I mean, that’s definitely artificially flavored. It tastes like Dunkin’ Donuts, but I’m from New England, so I have absolutely no problem with that. 6
Score: 5.25
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
2. Organic Breakfast Blend
$7.99
AC: Dark chocolate, peanuts, slightly fruit… sort of papaya, medium body, dirt. 6
JG: It’s acidic to me. I think I would drink this one black. 7
Score: 6.5
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
1. Kenya AA
$7.99
AC: Oh, this one I really don’t mind. Red fruit, earthy, chocolatey. It’s definitely a Kenyan. Very bright. This is the one that I like the most out of all of them. Definitely my favorite. Noticeably smoother body, there wasn’t that lingering dryness as we’ve experienced. 7
JG: It actually tastes like Toby’s Estate coffee. Is this a trap? 9
Score: 7.5
Credit: Cole Saladino/Supercompressor
Cleanser: Toby’s Estate Congo Muungano
$15.25
JG: After sampling all this coffee, ranging on a spectrum from delicious to not-so-delicious, Toby’s Congo Muungano was such a breath of fresh air. Dark brown fresh air. It was pleasant, bright, fruity, and vibrant. This isn’t the stuff you’ll find at a fast food restaurant or chain coffee shop. It’s different, it’s alive, it’s coffee. Mouth happy. 10
More from Supercompressor:
13 Brilliant IKEA Hacks to Streamline Your Kitchen
18 Myths About Drinking You Should Stop Believing Immediately
