Is It Time to Fire Your Personal Trainer?
You took your time and did your research. You found a personal trainer whose fitness philosophy matched your goals. The price and schedule were both right. You made the commitment, and you're doing the work, but something doesn't seem quite right. You and your trainer seemed like such a perfect match during that first tentative training session. Now, after a little time together, your personalities may be clashing or you're dreading the extreme workouts that leave you sick and tired for the rest of the day. You cringe when a training appointment reminder shows up in your email. You're wondering: Where you did it all go wrong?
Perhaps you've been working with your personal trainer for years. In the beginning you were excited to meet for your workouts, and you were seeing great results. Now something has changed. Maybe the workouts have gotten stale. Your goals have changed but your trainer has not taken the time to ask and revamp your plan. You look across the gym at another trainer and client having a great time. The intensity and excitement that you used to feel are radiating off them.
If these things sound familiar, it doesn't matter if you've been together weeks or years. Maybe it's time to fire your personal trainer.
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It may be as simple as "it's not you, it's me." You thought you were ready to commit to a program, but you keep finding reasons not to come to sessions or do the homework you were assigned. While there is no perfect time to start a fitness journey, you must be ready to commit some amount of time and effort to the process. If you're not willing, then it's best to not waste anyone's time or your money pretending. Be honest with your personal trainer, and tell them that you appreciate all of their efforts -- but you need to take a break to review your priorities.
There are some things a personal trainer should never do. These things should be grounds for automatic dismissal. They include:
1. Training with you. Your training session is about you, and he should not be getting his workout at the same time. He should be checking form and giving you coaching to make sure you're doing the exercises safely.
2. Taking phone calls, texting or tweeting during your session. As already mentioned, his full attention should be on his clients -- not his Facebook page.
3. Telling you to push through the pain. Yes, being challenged is part of the experience of working with a personal trainer. Muscle fatigue is normal, but pain is not. Anything that is sharp, shooting or sudden is a signal to stop -- not push on.
4. Sharing your personal information. While not governed by HIPPA, a personal trainer should still work hard to protect your privacy. She may be anxious to share your success on her web site or Facebook page, but she should always get your permission first.
5. Canceling or moving sessions on a regular basis. Whether it's due to financial necessity or family needs, many personal trainers train as a second or part-time job. While we all need to take a vacation on occasion, unscheduled absences or constantly shifting schedules are not normal.
6. Become too personal. If your trainer uses sexual language, makes vulgar suggestions or touches you inappropriately, stop training with him immediately and speak to a manager.
Remember, a good relationship still has its up and downs. There will be miscommunications and frustrations. In a healthy relationship, these things are addressed and resolved. If you're not satisfied with the direction of your plan or the service you're receiving from your personal trainer, you should give him an opportunity to make it right. Take some time to make a list of your current goals and challenges. When you start a fitness program, you may have one goal in mind -- but over time, you and your goals will change. Perhaps your trainer has not asked, and you have not shared this shift in focus. Ask your trainer for a few minutes outside of session to discuss your concerns and your updated goals. Have your meeting off the training floor, if possible, and in a private setting that allows you to minimize disruption and speak candidly.
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During the meeting, be honest but fair about how you're feeling and the needed change in direction. Use "I" statements as much a possible, and give specific examples of any problems you may be experiencing with the personal training sessions or the program. A true professional will be open to your feedback and happy to make the needed changes.
It's important to understand that when these challenges are too big to overcome, it may be best to part ways. Be honest, open and firm about your desire to end your personal training relationship. If you end on a positive note, your personal trainer might connect you with someone who better fits your needs. Just like dating, it's great if you can agree to just be friends.
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