Tom Cruise's 'Jack Reacher' Not Tall Enough to Punch 'Hobbit' Where It Hurts

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Tom Cruise's 'Jack Reacher' Not Tall Enough to Punch 'Hobbit' Where It Hurts
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Tom Cruise's 'Jack Reacher' Not Tall Enough to Punch 'Hobbit' Where It Hurts

 

Welcome to the Box Office Report where the semantics of Jack Reacher's height will be debated with much fervor. 

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1. The Hobbit (Warner): $36.7 million in 4,100 theaters [Week 2]

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International supervillain Peter Jackson has succeeded. His big movie made a bunch of money and now we're going to be forced to watch two more of them. I will probably fall asleep during the first hour of those movies, too. (The rest was pretty good, though.)

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2. Jack Reacher (Paramount): $15.6 million in 3,352 theaters 

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So, the actual literary character Jack Reacher stands something like 6'5" tall.. He also weighs roughly 250 pounds. Tom Cruise is maaaybe 5'7". Maybe. He maaaybe weights 170 pounds soaking wet. He does not look a thing like Jack Reacher! This is a problem for some purists who think this movie is silly based on those facts alone. Those people are silly, we say. Tom Cruise can look really stern and sound intense and really that's all you need to be an action star these days. 

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3. This Is 40 (Universal): $12 million in 2,912 theaters

Another Judd Apatow movie that's kind of disappointing! A trend, perhaps? Maybe he should stick to editing Vanity Fair. All kidding aside, Apatow does a public service by featuring members of the Philadelphia Flyers in the movie. It's the only time anyone will see them on any screen this year.

4. Rise of the Guardians (Paramount): $5.9 million in 3,301 theaters [Week 5]

There was going to be a joke about the inevitable sequel to this movie being a Rise of the Guardians/Nightmare Before Christmas crossover, but then there's probably already fanfic like that somewhere on Livejournal. We would find but we're a little scared of what the stories might be about. 

5. Lincoln (Buena Vista): $5.6 million in 2,293 theaters [Week 6]

This is probably going to win best picture unless the other movie about American stuff doesn't get tied up in its own politics. The academy debating over two prestige pictures about American history, one recent and one not, is the most Oscar -y Oscar thing we could ever think of. 

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