Two and a Half Men Series Finale Review: Conspicuous in His Absence

Two and a Half Men S12E15 & S12E16: "Of Course He's Dead" (Part 1 and Part 2)

What a journey Two and a Half Men has taken over the course of its 12-year run. After becoming one of the biggest and most divisive shows on TV—with its lightning-rod star Charlie Sheen at the center—the series devolved into a PR nightmare and then reinvented itself in a surprisingly spry reboot, only to devolve once again into something that many would argue should have ended a couple of years ago (and yet was still one of 30 highest-rated shows on all of television last season). I've never been a big fan of Two and a Half Men, but I've always appreciated its ability to attract a big audience, and to ultimately mutate and adapt in ways that barely make sense. Though Chuck Lorre doesn't seem like a particularly chill bro, you can't knock the hustle, or the zeal with which he seems to enjoy producing a very particular brand of comedy.

With that in mind, I sat down to watch Two and a Half Men's series finale assuming that basically anything could happen. Maybe the episode would see Sheen make his much-anticipated return to the show and there'd be some heartfelt reunion with Jon Cryer and the rest of the cast. Maybe Sheen would return and fight Lorre for 18 minutes while the studio audience egged them on. Maybe Sheen and Angus T. Jones would sit down for a live interview with Alex Jones about tiger's blood, UFOs, and the Trilateral Commission while Ashton Kutcher checked Twitter on his phone. Seriously, anything seemed possible.

It turns out my expectations weren't that far off, as "Of Course He's Dead" was Two and a Half Men's weirdest and wildest episode yet. Unfortunately, I'm guessing that many of you were disappointed by what didn't happen: the return of the show's controversial former star, Mr. Sheen. That's right, despite the fact that "Of Course He's Dead" was built entirely around the possibility that Charlie Harper was still alive, Sheen never made his big appearance.

If you're a longtime Two and a Half Men fan, that probably hurts, especially in light of how much time the hour-long finale devoted to the potential survival of the miserable creature that was Charlie Harper (and is Charlie Sheen, let's be honest). Yet, as a non-fan, "Of Course He's Dead" turned out to be self-reflexive to the point of self-parody—and at times, it was a legitimately funny episode of television that toyed with viewers' expectations all the way up until the last millisecond.

It's not out of the ordinary to go meta in a series finale, but Two and a Half Men really played it up in this send-off. The episode constantly poked fun at the series' tumultuous past and the unabashed way it kept its core characters and setting together. There were jokes about why Kutcher's Walden continued to stick around and how much money everyone was making. Actors broke character in both through their dialogue and by looking directly at the camera/audience. They read bits and pieces of Sheen's rants from 2011 as a part of his character's "return." There was an extended animated sequence. Arnold Schwarzenegger played a prominent role, and John Stamos dropped by, too. For a sitcom that I never found to be creative or even clever, Two and a Half Men peppered its final hour with some really amusing—if obvious—moments.

From my standpoint, the fact that Sheen didn't show up made the finale's self-aware trolling even more successful. Lorre dropped a piano on Charlie Harper, and then he appeared on screen just long enough to say "winning" and then get a piano dropped on his own head. Who would have guessed that a majorly popular CBS sitcom would've ended like that?

Of course, it also would've been great to see Sheen one last time. Love him or hate him, the actor was Two and a Half Men's defining element for many viewers, and without a last-second return, there's probably a void in the experience of being a fan of the show. Lorre's final vanity card explained that Sheen was indeed offered a cameo that wouldn't have changed the finale much at all (a piano still would've fallen on Charlie's head), but that he turned it down because he wanted a happier ending—and another show with Cryer. Who knows whether it's true, and who cares, really? Sheen didn't return, it appears that Lorre is still holding a grudge, and I guess four years wasn't enough time to heal.

I'm eager to hear how "Of Course He's Dead" played for longtime fans, and for those more casual viewers or full-on haters. It doesn't really matter whether I thought it was good—but it sure was fascinating. And for Two and a Half Men, that's a very fitting way to go out.

NOTES

– Schwarzenegger's recap of Two and a Half Men's last 12 years was actually really helpful. Alan and Walden got married? That's a thing that happened on a CBS sitcom. What a world.

– No shots because he's a very handsome man, but it sure does seem like Ashton Kutcher spent a lot of his Men money on food, right?

– Hey, at least Angus T. Jones returned! That kid has so much cash.

– Cryer somehow held this whole thing together for a dozen seasons. His line delivery and comic timing is still pretty sharp for the multi-cam/"live" set-up. "If I leave, the whole thing falls apart." Bless that man.

What did you guys think? Did the finale live up to the hype? Will you miss Two and a Half Men at all?