What to Watch Tonight: The Return of TVD and Reign and the Series Premiere of Backstrom

What to watch on Thursday, January 22...

7pm, Cartoon Network
Adventure Time
"Astral Plane" sends Finn on an out-of-body excursion, while "Evergreen" charts the heroic path of the would-be wizard.

WINTER PREMIERE, 8pm, The CW
The Vampire Diaries
Elena is Kai's unwilling guest as he learns to wield his new magic powers, because if you're even mildly sinister and you hang around Mystic Falls long enough, you'll wind up holding Elena Gilbert captive sooner or later (seriously, it's in the town bylaws). Elsewhere in "Woke Up With a Monster," Caroline and Stefan hit the road to find a cure for Liz's cancer, Liv and Alaric prepare Jo for the merge with Kai, and Enzo insists Stefan come clean.

SEASON 3 FINALE, 8pm, ABC
The Taste
With five cooks remaining, a "saints and sinners"-themed challenge will winnow the field for the last round of competition. Then the final three contestants must prepare a three-course meal before a live studio audience, with the winner taking the season crown.

8:30pm, CBS
Mom
The family is staggered by an unexpected death in "Three Smiles and an Unpainted Ceiling." I'll just assume they're in the middle of a Game of Thrones catch-up and have reached... well, virtually any episode.

SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, Fox
Backstrom
Rainn Wilson stars as the titular detective, who—now, try to stay with me here—is super good at his job yet super crummy at basic social functioning. He returns from disgraced exile to head up a new special-crimes unit in Portland, Ore., and the team's first case in "Dragon Slayer" involves an apparent suicide that may have been murder.

WINTER PREMIERE, 9pm, The CW
Reign
As we move from Rainn to Reign (fun with homophones! Amaze your friends!), Mary strives to pull Condé's cul out of the fire after the Vatican sets its sights on him in "Getaway." In less papal dangers, Francis's latest scheme spells trouble for Bash, and Kenna opens Claude's eyes to Catherine's true goal.

SEASON 1 FINALE, 9pm, NBC
Bad Judge
Michelle shoots for a courtroom record in "Case Closed," but a situation involving Michelle's ex-husband gums up the works. In other ambitious quests, Tom tries to forge real bonds with the gang while Tedward and Gary search for an ideal gift for Rebecca.

SEASON 1 FINALE, 9:30pm, NBC
A to Z
Andrew's ex (Dreama Walker) visits town in "M Is for Meant to Be"—and when she decides to crash at his place, Zelda suspects she may be trying to rekindle their flame. If that weren't enough on Zelda's plate, she also has a major career decision to grapple with.

10pm, CBS
Elementary
Watson begins her new in-house gig in "The Illustrious Client," but she's quickly diverted to a more immediate and personal case: helping Sherlock track down Kitty's former assailant, who has made his way to New York.

10pm, FX
Archer
Archer, Lana, and Ray land in an assassin's sights in "The Archer Sanction." I'm not formally keeping track, but I think this is like the 405th time this season that at least one (1) assassin has been involved in a TV logline. I'm suddenly very worried about the Bravermans.

10pm, NBC
Parenthood
Camille and Zeek come to a decision about the latter's health, while Amber's labor pains earn her her own trip to the hospital. Meanwhile in "We Made It Through the Night," Adam and Crosby butt heads over business strategy, Sarah shares a spot of good news with Zeek, and newly minted professional assassin Sydney cuts a swath of destruction. (Okay, I made up that last one. But you believed it for a second, didn't you?)

10pm, IFC
Portlandia
Myriad maladies afflict the Portlandians in "Healthcare," prompting a search for medical solutions. Perhaps veteran TV doctor Ed Begley Jr. or film femme fatale Brigitte Nielsen can lend their expertise?

10pm, Sundance
Babylon
The squad responds to a bomb threat at the Thameside Convention Center, while Richard fends off an overzealous journalist who's prying into his personal affairs.

NEW CHANNEL, 12am, FXX
Animation Domination
The animated programming block encroaches on Adult Swim's basic-cable turf with installments of Lucas Bros. Moving Co., Stone Quackers, High School USA!, and Axe Cop.

SERIES PREMIERE, 12:30am, Comedy Central
This Is Not Happening
Ari Shaffir hosts this new series featuring comedians sharing stories against the backdrop of a gentlemen's club. Keegan-Michael Key and Bobby Lee are the first guests, relating their experiences with self-medicating in "Brain on Drugs."

LATE-NITE:
– Ron Howard, Regina Hall, and Rae Sremmurd on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Jennifer Aniston on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Soledad O'Brien, John Leguizamo, and Mike Yard on The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Blake Shelton, Bob Costas, and Mötley Crüe on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, 11:35pm, NBC
– Edward Norton, Al Michaels, and The Decembrists on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Felicity Jones and Sebastian Maniscalco on Late Night with Seth Meyers, 12:35am, NBC
– Adam Sandler, Lena Dunham, Maria Bamford, and guest host Judd Apatow on The Late Late Show, 12:37am, CBS

WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING TONIGHT?