DEAR ABBY: "Jane," the daughter of a life-long friend, attended my son's wedding with her husband. My son and Jane have known each other since childhood, and always flirted and acted as if they had a crush on each other.
To make a long story short, after seeing each other during the weekend, my son left his wife of only one month and started a long-distance relationship with Jane. Jane continues to live with her husband.
My son and Jane have been open about their relationship with everyone in our families except her father and her husband. Needless to say, those of us who know about this deceptive relationship are sick at heart and skeptical about who Jane's true love is -- her husband or my son.
Jane's sister is being married soon. If Jane is still keeping my son in a closet, I don't want to see her at the upcoming wedding. There's a chance Jane's husband may not be going because there's evidence he might have an idea that his marriage is not healthy.
Should we attend the wedding to support my life-long friend, or stay away to avoid the pain of seeing the woman who has kept my son on a roller-coaster ride for years? -- TO GO OR NOT TO GO?
DEAR T.G. OR NOT T.G.: Let me get this straight. Your son dumped his wife of only one month for a married woman, and you're worried about his pain? Stop involving yourself in this melodrama and let him work this out for himself. If Jane dumps her husband for him, he may have the girl of his childhood dreams. If she doesn't he will learn an important life lesson.
As to whether you should attend Jane's sister's wedding, take a Dramamine and go. It's going to be a thrill ride I wouldn't miss if I could get a ticket.
DEAR ABBY: I am a frequent international traveler with a problem. I always pack food for myself to take onboard. My trips are often 20 hours or longer and involve several planes. I find many people neglect to pack any food and they wind up asking -- or begging -- me to give them some of mine. It's very awkward for me.
On one flight, I overheard a woman tell her son, "Go ask that man for some cookies," and the kid did come over. How do I handle this? There are times I have to spend five or seven hours in an airport after midnight waiting for the next flight, and that food is my reserve. -- NOT STINGY IN FLORIDA
DEAR NOT STINGY: I'm glad you have given me the chance to remind travelers that the food on airplanes isn't what it was years ago -- particularly for passengers flying coach. That's why it's important to plan ahead and bring something onboard -- fruit, candy, a sandwich -- particularly when traveling with children.
Of course it's hard to refuse someone in a situation like the one you described. I suppose you could have told the child, "Didn't your mother warn you not to take food from strangers?" But then you'd have to live with the image of a hungry child sitting two rows back.
Sometimes you do have to "just say no." Explain that you have a long layover and need the emergency provisions for yourself. It may not win you many friends, but then, you are not running for office.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
