The West Wing: Imagining 10 Stylish Moments from President Kanye West's First Year In Office
NOV. 3, 2020 — Raucous cheering erupts from Chicago nightclub The Underground, the site of Kanye West’s election night victory party. The first independent candidate to ever win the presidency, Mr. West fought a hard campaign with the incumbent, Hillary Clinton. But in the end, a resonant promise to turn up the nation and “Make America Dope Again,” along with the entire Republican party being swallowed by a sudden sinkhole near the steps of the Capitol, combined to deliver President-elect Kanye Omari West the victory. Yeezy Boost shipments will soon be en route to every household in America, but President West's got his work cut out for him. Here, we imagine ten stylish moments we hope to see in the first year of the West administration.
Jan. 3, 2021: InaugurationPresident-elect Kanye West takes the oath as only he could, in a Dries Van Noten embroidered overcoat and a pair of his finest suede Chelsea boots—this isn’t your father’s black president, the inaugural outfit seems to say. And First Lady Kim Kardashian West is, predictably, ready to begin her reign as the most eye-catching First Lady in history, in Louboutins and whatever else newly appointed White House Stylist Riccardo Tisci told her to wear. This administration is sure to redefine the term "Presidential Cabinet."
Jan. 20, 2021: Cabinet ConfirmationsThe business of the nation calls for business attire, and President West is more than up to the task. Like Obama, he has custom suits made by Chicago haberdasher Hart Schaffner Marx, but still infuses his own twist on Oval Office style, debuting the new adidas Yeezy 1450 Boost cap-toe oxford live on CSPAN—within days, the shoe has sold out at Foot Lockers, Finish Lines, and Brooks Brothers across the country.
Feb. 2, 2021: State of the Union AddressPresident West’s seven-hour congressional address would be considered too long by many, if not for Vice President Pusha T making faces at the audience and keeping Twitter occupied. Copious credit is given to President West’s most high-profile appointments: Secretary of Commerce Fetty Wap, Secretary of State Drake, Attorney General Louis Farrakhan, and new DEA administrator French Montana, in beginning the long road to fixing a broken justice system and bringing America toward healing.
Feb. 23, 2021: First State DinnerThe fledgling prez’s first taste of international relations is a banquet with the newly formed Republic of Scotland; so what else will do but bring back the ol’ Givenchy kilt when meeting with Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sturgeon?
Mar. 5, 2021: First Press ConferenceNobody knows why President West has called a conference in the White House press room, or why he is wearing a Margiela mask from his Yeezus tour days. But four hours of monologue later, the Ides of March address quickly reveal the purpose of its timing, as Hedi Slimane’s extradition from France for copyright infringement is finally approved by Paris, and the designer heads to the States for ten years of hard labor while wearing the same pair of Faded Glory jeans.
May 28, 2021: Getting Swole with Vladimir PutinIn his ongoing quest to do everything one possibly can in one's lifetime, President West heads to Russia to improve relations with President Vladimir Putin, taking time to work out and admire each other's luxurious sweatsuits. President West leaves Mr. Putin with an exclusive pair of Yeezy 350 Boosts, for the next time he hits the treadmill.
Apr. 1, 2021: Touring the Country in Air Force OneA joyous and slightly smaller country rejoices at a new flag with 49 stars, after the hugely popular excision of Mississippi from the Union. President West—no stranger to rubbing it in—brings back his classic Confederate flag bomber jacket, which is met with little opposition, since the Republican party disappeared into that sinkhole last November. Some in the South, however, swear to rise again. For the 155th consecutive year, this does not happen.
Jun. 11, 2021: Nike Literally Sued to Death by Federal Trade CommissionCiting monopolistic practices, international labor law violations, and "being a bunch of punk-ass bitches who don’t give credit where it’s due," the Nike empire crumbles under the weight of federal inquiries and lawsuits. Michael Jordan leaves the conference in tears, and Mark Parker is suddenly out of a job. Luckily, adidas—now made in America, following long negotiations with U.S. Secretary of Commerce Fetty Wap—is in a position to offer jobs to them both. President West shows up to the press conference, paradoxically, in Nike Tech Fleece and Red Octobers, explaining to confounded reporters: “What? It’s vintage now.”
Sept. 19, 2021: Operation Desert SWISHThe Commander-in-Chief handles his first situation room moment, as ISIS or ISIL (or whatever they’re called by then), has cornered a large convoy of American contractors in southern Iraq. President 'Ye decides that the proper crisis response is to send a team of highly-trained operators decked out in vintage Raf Simons jackets and Yeezy 950s—because if he's gonna put boots on the ground, they may as well be his. At the end of the day, SEAL TEAM 6 prevails with zero casualties and zero fatalities (turns out all the terrorists wanted were Yeezys), the Americans are rescued, and the Meet the Press roundtable pronounces the West’s presidency an undeniable SWISH, SWISH.
Nov. 22, 2021: My Beautiful Twisted Dark Fantasy Inducted Into the Library of CongressSome accuse a government agency of brown-nosing, but no one can deny the merit of President West’s magnum opus and its place in American history. Stevie Wonder, former president Barack Obama, Beyoncé, Jay Z, and other exemplars of #BlackExcellence show up to the gala feting MBDTF's induction. Federal regulations prohibit the President from producing an album while in office, but Mr. West promises that he will begin work on his long-awaited follow-up to the College Dropout trilogy, tentatively titled Inauguration, as soon as he’s done being President-for-Life.
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