Woman Uninterested In Marriage Gets Pressure From Her Family

If it's a business trip, then her company should be paying for her hotel room, and she should not need to stay with you. If she is staying somewhere else, that is less time for her to interfere.

#1: Your 23, seem to be intelligent, get your own place, and your own life.

Quote of the day:
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Then use the lemonade to wash down a xanax.

If I had a dollar for every kid who needed to look their parents in the eye and say, "Mom, Dad, this is who I AM!", I'd be able to buy Yahoo and fix it.

Born This Way, I, for one, applaud you for sticking to your guns so far. There are a lot of unhappy people in the world who let themselves be pressured into marriage and children because they thought that was what they were supposed to do. In some cultures, people are even forced into it.

I see no alternative for you but to move out on your own, although simply telling your family that you are planning to move out, because the pressure they are exerting on you is unbearable, might influence them. You say you have friends. Do you have a job? Are any of your friends in the market for a house mate?

stop living with your dad and you'll stop hearing his lip.

No one ever gives you any peace when you identify as asexual. Sigh. They will always try to make you identify as hetrosexual or homosexual because they need you to fit in a category. The strongest aspect of asexuality is a low or non-existent sex drive. To be a lesbian, one has to be sexually interested in women. Finding women more interesting than men doesn't make you a lesbian. Wanting to get naked with a woman does.

Give me another dollar for every kid who needed to look their parents in the eye and say, "Mom, Dad, I'm an adult. BUTT OUT!", and I could wipe out the national debt.

tell your mother what I tell my mother when she complains about my actions. "I'm a product of your raisings" I'm sixty now and still let her know it. Her snide comments have slowed down, lol.

LW #1 - There's nothing wrong with defining yourself as either asexual or as a lesbian. Right now, you seem unsure of which you are. But whatever the case may be, remember that you don't need to please anybody but yourself. You success or failure is not defined by others, but only truly defined by yourself. Don't let them push you around.

I'm not sure what circumstances are keeping you at home with your parents, but it would probably be in your best interest to correct that issue ASAP and then move out. The sooner you do, the less pressure you'll probably get from your family.

Good luck!

#1- Move out. If you don't want your family constantly in your business or trying to change who you are....move OUT and get some space between them and yourself.

LW1 - I think both low sex drive and homosexuality are due more to "nature" (rather than "nurture"). So it doesn't seem that "blame" should be an issue. Would it be possible for you to move out on your own or with a friend?

Part of Born This Way's problem is that - because she lives at home - her father/grandmother are able to scrutinize her life and lifestyle.

If she moves out, she will have greater control over what these people see. If the comments continue anyway, she will have greater control over the time that she spends with them, given that their insensitivity makes her so unhappy (and with good reason).

L1- Your Dad and Grandmother are obviously pushing their concept of happiness onto you. I would suggest sitting them down and explaining that while marriage/kids maybe what they want you to have in your future and think that you need to have to be happy that this is not the case. By pushing their beliefs onto you all they are doing is pushing you away and creating an environment for you in which their actions (not your lack of a husband and kids) are what are making you unhappy. They didn't fail when they were raising you, but they sure are failing you as an adult.

LW1, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children. And it's no one's business, either. I do believe it's possible to be asexual but have attractions to either sex, just because you have been infatuated with other women doesn't mean you have to classify yourself as lesbian. Infatuation can mean different things.

LW#2 - Set ground rules. If she continues to break those rules, tell her good bye, and stick to your guns.

#2 Why don't you ask your hubby instead of Abby?

LW1 – You may very wll be an a-sexual lesbian. Cool. Doesn’t matter though. It’s your life. Tell that to your dad and then move out. Get in touch with PFLAG and learn to say, “Dad (Grandma) I’m not discussing it anymore”. Then walk away. Walk to another room. Walk out the door. Turn around and walk away. It may take practice but you’ve got to own yourself at some point. 23 is a good time to start doing that.

LW2: Take your mother to the nearest IHOP, have some waffles and talk it over. Many things have been successfully settled with Karo.

BORN THIS WAY IN NORTH CAROLINA : You want too much. You are old enough to move out of your father's house. Problem solved. You can't change them and they can't change you. When you don't live with your family, then you can simply go home when you are tired of their conversation. I tell you it's a great feeling to say "Well, I have to go now. See you later!!"