The World's Most Homoerotic Homphobes Are Storming French Beaches in Tiny Shorts
Hommen, the French anti-gay group made famous by its members' flat abs, protesting shirtless, and being more "gay" than the gay men were protesting is back. With abs flatter than ever, the anti-gay group has set the bar for homoerotic hijinks higher than ever by taking five, wet, sinewy men in tiny swimsuits and cramming them into a tiny boat off of a beach in Montpellier, France. Yes, we're quite aware that there are parts of that last sentence that could resemble any weekend in Provincetown, but that would all be lost on Hommen:
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As the gay blog Towleroad points out, the video begins with a quote from Sun Tzu that means "the art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting." That doesn't really gel with the beaches of Normandy and gays-are-Nazis allusion the video is going for.
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The "war" these men are fighting, when we last checked in with them, was against France's decision to legalize same-sex marriage this year. So, we suppose when one "subdues" gay marriage in Hommen's eyes, it has to be done shirtless:
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And just for comparison, here another couple shots of Hommen subduing the gay community into submission ...
... now compare those shots to this screen-grab from a gay-themed (semi-NSFW) underwear ad from designer Andrew Christian:
The actual gay video has more of a budget, uses actual models, and has better production quality, obviously, but they're not that far apart from one another. That's the gist of Hommen, who don't seem to have any women, hirsute, or out-of-shape protesters among them. If they do, they don't like to flaunt them as much.
The sign the Hommen boys are holding, "Liberez Nicolas," refers to Nicolas, a fellow Hommen protesters who was sentenced to four months in prison for creating a scene outside a French television studio where President François Hollande was speaking.
And the beach they're storming is in Montpellier — the first French city to perform a same-sex marriage. Why this all has to be done by wet, half-naked men in tiny shorts riding around in a tiny boat isn't as easy to explain.